Resisting Everything but Temptation

Day 31, for rhi: Something that makes you happy—a recipe, a song or vid, a short fic, a podcast, a new hobby or favorite beverage—to start us off right in the New Year.

I was thinking particularly about that last part, and at the same time, chatting with destina about how 2022 was an improvement over the two years that came before it. 2020-2021 was a personal nadir for me in ways that had nothing to do with the pandemic, but being isolated and trapped in an empty house that was a huge source of misery and stress certainly did not help. There wasn't a lot that made me happy, those two years. But Ted Lasso came out, and it's one of the few things I think I'll remember that alleviated the crushing depression and stress.

So here are two Ted Lasso things that make me happy. First, a vid that, when I rewatched it just now, felt exactly like what I would hope for, for every one of you, in the coming year. (I don't think you need any knowledge of Ted Lasso to enjoy it.)

"Heartbeat," by trelkez:



And then my favorite Roy/Jamie/Keeley story, which honestly, makes me so happy that any time I think about going to look for more stories about them, I often end up just re-reading this one:

"Jump the Gun," by rheawrites 

Day 28, for goodbyebird Favorite character dynamics in The Old Guard?

All of them? It's true, though. Of course I love Immortals in general, and everything about them (the lifetimes of experience, the tragedy of their isolation, the historical flashbacks, the swords!) so give me Immortals led by Charlize Theron as an ancient Greek warrior with a tragic past trying to make the world better, and I was 98% there before the movie even started. And yes, like everyone, I'm a sucker for the unabashedly romantic epic love story of Nicky and Joe. They're like a sneak peek into how I like to imagine Duncan and Methos a thousand years or so down the line.

That being said, the relationship that fascinates me the most is the one between Andy and Nile. One ancient, one so young—but Nile is an extraordinary woman who's already lived quite a bit in her short life, and seeing these two recognize one another as kindred spirits, and build trust together, is absolute catnip. So much is said between them with actions aand expressions rather than words, like when Andy gives Nile the car and lets her go, or when Nile finds the empty magazine and makes the decision to help the team, or when she steps in front of Andy to protect her. And Andy seems to find genuine pleasure and even joy, at least for moments here and there, in the challenge Nile presents. They are both fierce warriors, but both also have a deep well of compassion, as well as absolute clarity when it comes to who they are, and what matters to them. Seeing them find one another and recognize those things in one another is what makes me love them so much—along with the little moments of wry humor ("Wait till tomorrow," never fails to make me laugh in pure delight). And then, of course, there's the pathos and irony that Andy should find Nile just when her immortality is running out—that perhaps it's even because her immortality is fading that Nile gains her own. Yet at the same time, because it's Nile, because Andy sees her for the incredible woman she is, Andy seems to ultimately be finding peace in the natural inevitability of it all. And yet, there's still the streak of determination that isn't so ready to believe in fate the way that Nicky is. She and Nile have that in common, too.

As the flip side of that, I also love the fraught relationship between Andy and Booker, with all the nuance of their parallel battles with despair. I know everyone says Nile is the most relatable character in the movie, but Booker fucks up in the most relatable ways possible, for me. The way everyone on the team reacts to his betrayal is just so full of love and grief and family. And even when he's betraying them, there's so much tenderness between him and Andy, which we get to see in full force when they say good-bye.

And speaking of family, after Andy/Nile, that's probably my second favorite relationship dynamic. I love all five of them, and treasure every moment when we get to see what they mean to each other, from the funny in-jokes like Andy's thing for baklava, to the way they are constantly caretaking and watching out for each other, to the way they function in battle as a terrifying, unified team. Nile continuing to find where she fits in that team is what I most want to see next.

Thank you so much for asking!

I have a wonderful prompt from kerithwyn for today, but we tried to fly from Austin to Seattle yesterday, and thus ensued 24 hours of travel "fun," when our plane was delayed, and delayed, and delayed, and finally canceled. My parents and I are all now safely home (before Fernando could get here! against all odds and on separate flights and WITH our luggage—pause to sing "Fernando" as is required), and I am exhausted and in need of shower/food/sleep in that order. Ugh, and then work, because I had originally planned to do that today. So I hope my dear friend will understand that I'm shifting her lovely prompt to another day (probably a week from today) when I can try to do it justice.

For any of you attempting to travel this week, may the gods be kind.

Day 19, for annavere: Top 5 "it should never have worked but it did" moments.

The very first two that came to mind, I can't say, because 12 Monkeys spoilers, which annavere is currently watching.

( Cut just in case someone hasn't seen one of these. )

Thank you for the question! (And thank you to everyone who responded so kindly to the vid I posted about yesterday. ♥)

Day 17, for celli: A movie that desperately needs a sequel (even if it'll never happen).

If The Old Guard didn't already have a sequel in the works, this would definitely be my #1. The worst: I watched The Old Guard the first time knowing nothing about it, and I thought it was a series. I was so mad!

I'm going to choose the movie Appaloosa from 2008. (Viggo Mortensen, Ed Harris, and Renee Zellweger) I still check Yuletide every year to see if anyone's asked for it. It's a perfect movie all on its own, but I would love, love, love to see later books in the series made into another movie. Thank goodness we had the books to bring the story to a satisfying end, but that will never make me not want more of Viggo and Ed Harris in those roles. ♥ One of my favorite movies ever.



...also, heart them forever for this shot, where they are sitting side by side on horses, but the foreshortening and pose makes it look like they are literally one person. Accurate.

Day 15, for trobadora: what do your oldest and your newest fandom have in common?

To answer this one, I had to really think about what my newest fandom would be, because I haven't actually produced anything in Star Wars fandom yet—I'm still just consuming the vast quantities of media and figuring out where to start. So, a part of me is tempted to call 12 Monkeys the newest, since it's the most recent one I've really played in. But my heart knows the true answer, and it's Star Wars.

So then to the oldest fandom...it should probably be original Trek (and specifically Kirk/Spock), since that's how I found fandom. I think there are some parallels between the mysticism and asceticism of the Jedi order and the Vulcan culture, and probably I am drawn to Obi-Wan and Spock for some of the same reasons, first and foremost their integrity, but also the way they continue to learn and grow, the way they remain true to themselves and what they believe is right regardless of how difficult the challenges are, and what it costs them. Obi-Wan also shares characteristics with Kirk (the charisma, the wisdom, the leadership skills, the clearness of vision). Since ultimately it's characters that draw me into a fandom, I'd say that's probably the biggest intersection of the two.

I did also think back to my earliest 'fandoms', Narnia and Watership Down. I created copious fan art for both before I knew that was a thing, and I can definitely see some intersections there. :) Now I kind of want to read someone's novel-length analysis of the mythology of Star Wars vs. Narnia, but that person would definitely have to be smarter and less tired than I am.

Thank you for the fun question!

Day 8, for resonant: Some characters you love as characters and couldn't bear to spend five minutes with if they were real people?

This was surprisingly difficult for me. I kind of distinguish between villains that I love as villains (Kronos, Thrawn, [12 Monkeys character redacted], Lilah Morgan), villains I find genuinely lovable and possibly redeemable (Crowley, Catra), and characters I genuinely love, but wouldn't want to be around even for five minutes.

In the last category...

Boyd Crowder (Justified)
I genuinely love him, and can see the tragic aspect of the man he became, but wouldn't want to be around him for even five minutes, because a) likelihood of getting shot, high, and b) welll...everything else. Outside of those particular stories I read guiltily, I don't actually believe he's redeemable.

Deacon (12 Monkeys)
I'm already starting to see a pattern, here. The level of violence and cynicism these guys bring to the party is just too much for lil ol me. Too stressful. But I love him! In the right circumstances, I would be cool with hanging out with Deacon, but the likelihood of those circumstances seems low.

Sonny Steelgrave (Wiseguy)
See above! But I wouldn't mind being in the same room as him as an unnoticed observer. :) Would be good for the entertainment value. (I thought Al Swearengen would fit in this category, too...although, actually, I would probably enjoy meeting him.)

Charles Vane (Black Sails)
Yup, a definite pattern. Although...hm. Okay, I can think of one way I would like to spend five minutes with him.

Angel (Angel)
What would we talk about? We would both be SUPER awkward.

Most of my fandoms, I love them all too much for this list! Would I be embarrassingly tongue-tied around most of them? Absolutely. Would I be nervous around Hannibal Lecter? Yes. But it would be worth it.

If you haven't already, please pick a day and ask me anything you like. ♥

Day 4, for destina: Top five favorite Star Wars characters (so far), and why each of them intrigues you!

( Oh, no. This is an unfair question! )

If you haven't already, please pick a day and ask me anything you like. ♥

Day 2, for solo: What tags (aside from relationship ones) will inevitably make you give a fanfic a try? (And maybe, why?)

1. Time travel

I can't help it! I'm a sucker for time travel. I love the "what-ifness" of it all. I love the narrative challenges, and the idea of going back to fix one's mistakes. I love the possibilities of characters meeting younger or older versions of themselves and each other, and seeing things from a new perspective. I love the philosophical and logical questions, and the moral conundrums. It's my catnip! (For similar reasons, I'm also drawn to the 'What If' tag, but it's not quite as bulletproof.)

2. Amnesia

Amnesia is a tricky one—I'm fascinated with the questions of identity, trust, and intimacy it can bring up. It also has an element of that "do-over" aspect that I like in time travel stories. They don't always work for me, though. There are specific things I'm looking for, like "my partner knows me better than I know myself," "who are we when we can't remember or entirely remember our past." and the trust element is really important. I also love it because a character losing their memory is SUPER stressful to me, so the resolution of that is very satisfying. (One reason I will NOT click on an amnesia fic if there's also an unhappy ending-type warning.) There's a reason the episode that got me hooked on Angel: the Series is the one where everybody is brainwashed but Fred.

3. OT3 (or OT4 or more)

The dynamic of the polycule feels like a great solution to so many sources of tension between favorite characters, and I just want them to all be together and happy. *smishes them together—now, kiss!*

4. Road Trips

I love road trips in RL, so I love reading about them. Plus, I love the creation of shared experiences outside the dynamic of the characters' roles in the source. And I like seeing the characters I love get a vacation, even if it's just on the way to a case.

5. Post-Canon Domesticity

Again, I just want them all to be together and happy (and alive), okay?

If you haven't already, please pick a day and ask me anything you like. ♥