I did a lot of walking this morning and I do a lot of my best thinking while I'm walking. (Also my best plotting and my best meandering over fictional boys FYI).
And this morning I was thinking about friends. Like, how
catwalksalone and I are friends. I trust and love her and I trust that she loves me just as much as she says she does. I love seeing her and spending time with her. (Also? She
makes me posts with .gifs of my favourite JP&C bit ever ♥♥♥)
But we disagree about a number of things. Cat really doesn't like RPS - I'm still heavily in an RPS fandom. She doesn't like Merlin fucking with the Arthurian legends. I'm dancing around in the Merlin fandom too. She loves Ray/Ray and Vecchio is her favourite favourite. I'm not really a big Vecchio fan at all.
Then there's
mrsronweasley. Who I met when were were both into Remus/Sirius in a big way. But haven't shared a fandom with since about 2004. And yet I talk to Liz almost daily on IM and love her completely.
There's
brooklinegirl and
mayatawi who I don't think I've
ever shared fandoms with. Or there's
entropical87 and
soupytwist who I can't seem to but HELP share a fandom with (they totally follow ME, dammit :P)
There are people on my flist from my HP days. And people who I met through SGA. There are Bandom people and Merlin people. Due South people from when Liz and Anna were in it. And people from fandoms I totally forget. There are people like
strangecobwebs and
dsudis who I met in person first and have happened to sometimes share fandoms with too.
There are people I've met in person and people I probably never will.
And yet.
Right now, Cat and I are sharing the intense love of
boys, but I'm not stupid enough to think that our fannish love will always overlap. And Liz and I will probably never share a fandom again *yearns*. And I'll probably still crash fannishly into some people in every bloody fandom I'm ever in. But none of those things make them my friends.
It's so amazing to share fannish love with someone, but that isn't what makes me love being here. Here is about my friends. It's about knowing that regardless of what it is I'm loving-at-the-moment, the people around me know what it's like to love something that much.
And I'm not wording this very well - but what I'm trying to say is similar to something that Cat posted about recently. About how just because your opinions differ on some things, doesn't mean that you can't be friends. I know myself that I find it difficult to not take a debate or a disagreement personally, but I try really hard not to. And I can get upset about people I like vocally disliking something I love, even though I know that it's not about
me. And, to me, argueing with someone is a huge trauma.
But though I can go through all of those things with people, in the end it's not about any of that. Any more than it is with someone that I always share the same opinions with. We all understand what it is to be fannish and what it means to get too emotionally involved with things (hello shiny new JP&C obsession...) and so while we might move on from shared fandoms, friends last through.
I always remember being in Boston with Liz. She was deeeeep into F/K and Due South. I was deeeeeeeep into John/Rodney and SGA. And we sat on her bed and talked for HOURS. About fandoms that the other person wasn't in and didn't really know at all. And it goes down as one of the happiest moments that I remember.
Which is all a long-winded way of saying that friends rock, in spite of our totally differing opinions. And also that you should all watch the John Paul and Craig stuff and come grin with me about it. (Or at least click on the link to Cat's post above and have a good stare at the .gif she posted *Goes herself*)