cheated by the opposite of love

haven't been around in a while... realized that i missed this, this confessing to myself anyone else around the world what i'm thinking feeling doing, the ultimate freedom to just get outside my head and Write...

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life's crazy, car crash, destroyed equipment, meeting w the production head, writing a screenplay, thinking of another, disappointed family, falling apart, pressure pressure pressure, possibly a movie, possibly changing someone's world, possibly a finished short film, possibly possibly and a long road ahead, some happy moments, some kind of family.

chris being wonderful, escaping, away, gone, then alone, going back into darkness, going back into fear

chris pulling me out, into the light, up, out of dark waters.

saving me from drowning.


(thank god)

bold underline: on writing

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directed, observer
every time we punch in

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ruminations on cue.
11-25-09

the ability to be invisible - to walk into a room and see honestly without getting a reaction. observe without being observed. to be anywhere, do anything, be anyone.

i am writing poetry (finally!) and somehow digging my way out of college &etc. i wish i could write poetry all day and have lots of lovemaking and kittens and cups of green tea. i got some fantastic honey a couple of weeks ago. anyways. i want to kiss a stranger again.

go(figuremeout). if you really want to read my new poeme, message this. i've been very secretive lately.

♥ to you all

p.s. oh yeah and it was my birthday huh. yay me. i spent it in santa barbara, pretty (un)eventful but eventful, one of those weekends. good stuff all around. :] thanks to shenanigans, jasher and bunny for making it supa fantastiche. ♥

wow, i'm just spamming LJ with lists, aren't i?

.....oh, well.

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YES. BOOKS. LIST. LIFE.

long time no see. visiting boyfriend next week (♥). new layout. red and white and black and simple. everwhite.

...also, all american rejects are awesome. anyone else going to bamboozle left, holla. ♥

because i feel spammy today :D

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also, omg my problem set!!

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so basically my roommate plays awesome amazing music - modest mouse, mika, louis xiv, killers and more amazing things i really really really (!) like but don't listen enough to. ♥ for sure. :]

also, omg, last night was so chill - just hanging out in the apartments watching superbad and eating chocolate chip cookies and talking about symmetrical decorating and our 'marriage' party (champagne, no pants, formal from the waist up ahahha). everything in life is just so good now.

i turned in all my papers and i only have logic homework due at 8. the only final that worries me is my logic final - the rest i'll study for and do well on, i'm sure. college is so much fun at the most random times -- it's like golden champagne bubbles fizzing up inside you until they explode in a burst of fireworks joy. ♥

aaand chris and i are completely together, love and sappiness and everything. it's unbelievable how this is all working out. we're such poor college kids, but the best treasures are at goodwill anyways, right? :]

...life. ♥

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Overheard in NYC

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i ♥ pondering philosophical concepts. :DDDD