because i feel spammy today :D



Talking to You Is Like a Conversation with the White House

Dude: Did you hear the queen's in town?
Chick: Our town?
Dude: Not necessarily.

--Columbia University

But Only with Livestock.

Girl #1: Wait... You're not a virgin?
Girl #2: Nope. I had sex once. Well, nine times.

--McDonald's, Times Square

Or Like Let's Renew Seventh Heaven for Another Season

Blonde: I just had the meanest thought in the whole world.
Guy: I doubt it.
Brunette: Tell us what it was, and then we'll judge.
Blonde: Okay, well, I hope that Tim and Tom don't realize we have a Spanish test tomorrow, because I always study way more than them and they still score, like, 20 points higher than me.
Brunette: Oh, that's not mean. There are way meaner thoughts, like I hope Tim and Tom catch rickets so they're too sick to take the test.
Guy: Yeah, or like let's force all the Jews out of Germany and burn them in an oven.

--Fordham University



also, omg my problem set!!