Rain hadn't been in the forecast. They were an hour and fifteen minutes into a two hour hike when the first peal of thunder came. Robby and Jack share a look and then almost at once, a sheet of water falls from the sky. It's almost apocalyptic- the thunder is shaking the sky, the trees swaying around them and the rain falling so hard that you could barely see in front of your face. There is nothing to do but keep going. They start to laugh- helpless, aching laughter, bent double at the waist.
"It's always an adventure," Robby says with a wry grin.
"Only way out is through," Jack replies. They set off.
They don't hurry- there's no reason to hurry. They're far enough away from the trailhead that even if they ran, it wouldn't make a difference. They keep going- alone on the trail, they sing songs, terribly. At one point, Jack starts calling out marching songs that his drill sergeant would use to help them keep pace in BMT. At one point, Robby slips on the slick earth and covers his pants in mud up to the knees. The whole time they're laughing, they just keep laughing.
By the time they make it back to the truck, they're soaked to the bone and shivering, with the biggest smiles on their faces. When Robby removes his boots and what had to be a cup and a half of water pours out, they break into more laughter. It isn't even that funny, but the endorphins, the sheer what the fuck, this might as well happen, of it all- just shines of light of hilarity on everything.
Jack had spare socks and spare shirts in the car, but their shoes and pants are fucked beyond repair. They'll just have to stay wet for the three hour drive back. It was worth it- they had more fun on that hike, soaked through the bone, than on any hike Robby could ever remember.
On the drive back, the weather breaks. The clouds shuffle off, the clear blue sky is revealed and a golden light shines over everything. Classic rock is on the radio; Jack singing along to the guitar solos instead of the lyrics, for some reason- and Robby thinks I could have missed this.
It's the kind of thought that couldn't stay inside, so he says it. "I could have missed this." At Jack's raised brow, he continues. "I almost killed myself. I could have missed this."
"I'm glad you didn't, brother. I'm glad I didn't, too. Would have been a shame to miss today."
"It's beautiful." It sounds stupid, it sounds trite, it would sound absurd to any person other than Jack, but he feels like he's witnessed a miracle. The unexpected summer thunderstorm, the blue sky, the sun shining through the clouds. It's all so beautiful. Somehow, he can actually see it now. He took so much for granted. He never appreciated it, not anything.
He does now, in this moment.
And Robby. Just keeps thinking it. He feels the breeze through his window and hears someone laughing far away and he thinks I could have missed this. He and Jack argue over a game and he thinks I could have missed this. He holds a baby, freshly delivered in his hands. I could have missed this. Even the sadness is a blessing somehow. He almost missed out on so much.
He tries to take a picture any time the thought strikes him, that way he can look back and see the proof that even though things are still so bad sometimes, it's still a miracle that he's allowed to see it at all.
He explains it to Jack and Jack- in the dead-pan way he says jokes with an utter seriousness, like what he's about to tell you is life or death information- says "Every day's a gift, brother. That's why they call it the present." And Robby laughs and laughs and shoves him for being a piece of shit.
"I was trying to be open and honest, brother. Why do you have to ruin everything?" Robby moans, though the smile is still on his face.
"In the spirit of me ruining everything-" Jack takes his hand, pulling him in for a kiss. And oh, Robby wasn't expecting that. Hadn't expected that at all, but it's so good, and how could he have never expected this? It seems so obvious in hindsight.
I could have missed this, Robby thinks, the rest of his life unfurling before him- an open road, a hand in his, sun golden on everything. Even the future sadness, even the future pain. He sees the sun, and even if he doesn't, he knows it's there. And there's a whole life in that, in knowing the sun is there. In knowing he has someone to dance through the darkness with.
He almost missed it. He's so glad he didn't.
