robanybody, posts by tag: mental casting couch - LiveJournal

Because I am that level of obsessive dork, I cast the Vish Puri series. Just the main and recurring characters because the idea of casting all the suspects and villains of both books was too tiring to even contemplate.

My only regret is that I couldn't find a picture of Harish Patel with a magnificent moustache like Vish has. But if they ever cast this for real and he's actually Vish, I'm sure he can grow one to rival all magnificent moustaches for centuries to come. He's a real pro like that.

Also, I totally have a crush on Guru Singh now. Stupid casting.



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It's supposed to be 35+ tomorrow, and that's not even considering the humidex. I. I might melt into a puddle before the night is through. Ugh, weather, why do you suck so much?

So I cast Good Omens. Because I didn't have enough to do with my life. In my defense, though, this is all airspaniel's fault because she came up with the perfect casting for Aziraphale and Crowley and batted her Betty Boop lashes until I agreed to do the rest of the book. Really, I am completely not culpable in any of this. (Lies. I am totally at fault here.)

A few things:

casting children is a complete and utter TRIAL. I am exhausted from finding cool kids to play these roles. From now on, I only cast movies or books that have old people in them.

if you've been around this journal for more than a day, the actor I cast for Newton Pulsifer should come as no surprise. But I actually stole the idea from this genius person, so all credit to hir. Also, go watch that link for brilliant casting.

as well, the choices I made for Nanny Ashtoreth, Brother Francis, and Shadwell just go to prove that only I ever find myself hilarious. Much love to charliehey for always holding my hand and to traveller for cheering me on for casting the world's most famous movie nanny as the nanny to Satan's spawn. You can see why I love them dearly.

yes, I cast Dog. I couldn't resist.

but I did not cast R.P. Tyler because goddammit, I'm exhausted. If you care, it was Bob Hoskins in my head.

I hope you like this, airspaniel because it's all for you. ♥



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Happy Independence Day to all of my American flisters! I hope today is relaxing and full of things you want. I am off to fake an interest in work and try not to sweat through the mattress when I get back home. Oh, summer heat, how intolerable you are!

So, like, back in 2007, Til Schweiger made this cute, filthy, adorable romantic comedy called Keinohrhasen about a likable jerk who meets the woman of his dreams, but fucks it up and has to win her back. OneRepublic's Apologize featured heavily in the soundtrack, there are so many dirty jokes that even I was delighted, and the entire cast, including the minor characters, were hilarious and charming and wonderful. Also, Nora Tschirner is an amazingly funny woman, and I wish she made more movies so I could watch her pratfall and deadpan like the fucking pro she is. ♥

God knows how many millions of euros and one sequel later, Til is rewriting the movie for American audiences and has said that he's thinking of putting his friend, Ben Affleck, in it.

As someone who loves this movie a lot, no. Just no. I think Affleck is a really solid, charming actor, but I just can't see him as Ludo. Ludo is this weird mix of asshole and sweetheart and goofball, and while Til can pull it off, Ben just seems too serious to me. And I say this as someone who has seen him in Kevin Smith movies, okay? I like the guy, but he just doesn't work as Ludo for me.

So I made my own casting, with charliehey's invaluable input, and this is what I came up with. I cheated a little and put Jamie in there because I couldn't help myself. Actually, most of this is because I couldn't help myself, but I kind of like it anyway.

Memo to Til: please use this cast, if only because you know you want Donald Glover and Karen Gillan to make out at the end.

By the way, I have no idea how the movie itself will play out (I imagine many things in German don't translate as easily to a North American audience. Like, you can't throw someone in jail for being an immature jerk or half of Ottawa would be incarcerated right now), but I hope they keep in the depilation scene. That shit made me howl with laughter because I'm pretty much twelve, and also, I know how much that hurts.

I hope this is enjoyable.



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And if you don't care about that stuff, I just found out today that Tatum used to work in a puppy nursery. A PUPPY NURSERY. He used to take care of puppies, you guys. Like, how fucking adorable and cute is he?!! WHERE IS ALL THE FIC WHERE HE AND ALEX HANG OUT AND DRINK BEER AND ARE THE SPARKLIEST PONIES EVER? I will pay for that, for serious.

First things first: a very happy birthday to maschalismos. I hope today is kind to you. Here's a song I think you'd like. ♥

So I've been wanting to cast Bet Me for a while, but couldn't make it work because I couldn't figure out who would play Minerva. And Min's important because she's the heart of the story, so casting her right was essential. Then seren_ccd started writing her Crusie-style Trek Big Bang, and one of our conversations inspired me to start casting the story again, and after wracking my brain, I ended up with the perfect Min.

Your mileage may vary, of course, but I kind of love how this all turned out. It has all my favorite actors playing some of my favorite people, and I wish they were making this movie with this cast, for real.

Also, yes, Tatum is in this. Like I told Seren, he had to play one of Cal's lunkhead friends, and I found the perfect fit for him. Plus, he would get to make out with Gabrielle Union eventually, and there is no wrong there. At all.



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And for those of you who have been listening to The Weeknd, here's their video for What You Need



Nnnnngh, hot.

So a while back, seren_ccd did a meme and got talked into writing a Jennifer Crusie-style Trek Big Bang story set in a small California town where Christine Chapel has a house that's falling apart, an inappropriate thing for the new doctor with a gruff voice and gentle hands, and has to deal with all sorts of shenanigans from a cat-burglaring best friend who also owns a hair salon, two warring deli owners who have very loud opinions on booze and sandwiches, a hardware owner who just wants to live in peace and not have to break into peoples' houses, a mayor in crisis, a PA who's torn between kneecapping him and falling in love with him, and a former mayor who likes to watch all the insanity go by from his front porch when he's not ducking his gorgeous, gun-toting ex.

I figured since it's my fault that she's writing it, I should cast it like a book. So I did. The title is just temporary since it's the title I used in the meme, but the rest of the casting is hopefully how she wants it. And if you're not aware, I'm super excited for her to finish writing this because it's so incredibly amazing and she's only plotting it out so far.



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In addition, happy Mother's Day to all the mothers and mother figures out there. I hope your kids let you know how amazing you are and how much they love you. ♥

I spent my afternoon watching G.I. Joe on low and making heart-eyes at Tatum's jawline. He's totally going in my next casting because I'm just like that.

General notes:

had the most delicious salad at work today: turkey, pine nuts, and goat cheese in field greens, washed down with a pomegranate limeade from Odwalla. It's the first time I've voluntarily bought a salad in a long time, and it was worth it. You know that feeling you get when you're eating something that's good for you, but it also tastes really great? Yeah, I had that all afternoon.

Gooney's, you are the restaurant of my heart. And you have hot Indian and Somalian women working there, so I could theoretically live there for the rest of my life.

watched the pilot episode of The Chicago Code and have fallen so hard for it, despite my pissiness over Antonio. But it is such a Shawn Ryan show, as Wysocki's entire characterization proves, and I just hope that he makes Colvin more than a cardboard cut-out of a woman in charge. The thing I loved about The Shield was how dynamic and complex the characterizations were, how everyone was morally ambiguous and terrifying and likable, despite the awful things they did, and I want that with this show as well.

Ryan's doing a good job with Givens and Wysocki, and there's potential for Evers (who is so adorable), but he needs to do it with Colvin as well since she's the glue that holds everything together. He's shown her tough and vulnerable so far, and I like that a lot. Please continue to do this, Ryan, because I am already in love with this world, and I want to see where you're going with this.

I also want Colvin/Wysocki, Wysocki/Evers, and Colvin/Evers/Wysocki right now! I am also bitter because I cannot find icons or even screencaps to make icons, and no fandom has magically sprung up overnight to shower me with hot porn and Wysocki being a cagey bastard and doing Colvin against the wall. Or Evers. Or both.

yet another reason why Daniel O'Brien is my favorite columnist, if only because he has finally managed to articulate the main reason why I fucking loathe Quentin Tarantino on every single level: 4 Great Artists Who Make it Really Hard Not To Hate Them

He's also spot-on on why, as charming as Kevin Smith is, he's also become kind of a whiny, thin-skinned dick of late. I liked Cop Out just fine, but when your response to critics being the same disapproving jerks they've always been is to yell, "Well, fine, then I'm just going to take my toys and go the fuck home" before flouncing off, you've crossed the line into dickery. Still love your movies, Kevin, but you're a twat, and I'm really glad I never followed you on Twitter or read your goddamn published diary. My brother-in-law has a man-crush on you and even he started hating you after that.

The 10 Most Awesome Movies Hollywood Ever Killed by David Wong is on here simply because of the entry where he talks about how Chris Rock was almost in a rebooted Fletch.

Okay, so I grew up on the movies, which were okay, but mostly slapsticky and stupid, although I have a soft spot for the second movie just for Cleavon Little. And then I actually read the books a few years ago and got so angry when I saw just how much the movies had gutted the actual character. Fletch is supposed to be really smart as well as a smartass, and also young and handsome and charmingly amoral, but also hopelessly optimistic, and he falls in love every five seconds. He's a really fun guy and you can't help but love him. Chevy Chase is none of those things, and seriously, fuck that guy so hard for just sucking for so many years.

Anyway, when I mentally cast Fletch in my head, I was thinking more along the lines of Ryan Reynolds with the sarcasm and the charm and the ass that looks great in jeans. And then Wong drops Chris Rock on me and boom! I have a better idea for a new Fletch now.



Really, are you surprised by this? I think half the movies coming out would be better with Donald Glover, but I think he would be a brilliant Fletch. He's already proven that he can do funny, charming, and sarcastic, and as Mystery Team has shown us, the dude can dress up in stupid costumes and make it work.

in a related tangent, I have another reason to love Glover. Look at the first post on the Sex tag of his website. That's right, DGloves loves Grace Park too! You know he DVRs H50 and watches Grace's bikini scenes in slow-mo. Who wouldn't, really?

I was supposed to watch The Mechanic tonight, but between exhaustion and my shoulder being out of whack, I came home and relaxed instead. I'll go tomorrow after at least ten hours of sleep.

So apparently, Hollywood is rebooting Lethal Weapon now that a) it's over twenty years old, and b) everyone has discovered that Mel Gibson is a racist, anti-Semitic, homophobic, misogynistic, violently abusive fuckhead.

I, for one, am on board with this idea. May I offer a humble suggestion?



Because Glover can definitely do Riggs' "nothing left to live for" brand of recklessness and I just want to see JGL pull the "I'M TOO OLD FOR THIS SHIT" face. It would be hilarious. And oddly sexy. And for once, I wouldn't mind slashing this buddy cop movie.

Hollywood, get on this.

So remember when Kita and I cast the Dresden Files and we both went, "That was fun, but we are never doing that again"? And then I read this comment, kicked myself hard for not even thinking about casting people of color for all of the Dresden Files, and spent the next two weeks feverishly picking and choosing which actor would work for which character. I think the only exception is Arnold Vosloo, and I hope that his inclusion can be forgiven. He just worked too perfectly for me to not have him in here.

Kita was, as usual, amazing, and plotted the whole thing out with me, helped me figure out who would work for Harry, and also let me send her multiple e-mails and comments at random hours of the day. So the Leanansidhe is for her. Also, much thanks to spazzer_mctwich for her brilliant casting choice for Rashid. I went with it because after that, I couldn't see how anyone else would have worked.

Just an FYI: I kept the original casting for the canon characters of color and for the non-human characters, like Mouse and Mister. It's partly because I'm lazy, but mostly because I still loved the choices we made for them. So if you see the some of the same people and graphics, that's why.

As usual, these are just my choices. I know that it differs for everyone, so I don't expect anyone to agree with all my choices, and I would love to hear who you picked for your version of the characters.

The Dresden Files



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So that happened. I think I need tea now.

So despite the fact that I just did a huge casting with Kita (and am working some more on it because I am too stupid to know when to quit), I did another one for Don't Look Down by Jennifer Crusie and Bob Mayer because I love the book a lot and have been thinking on it for a while. My eventual plan is to cast all my favorite Crusie books (I'm working on Fast Women and Bet Me as well) and then move onto my next favorite author. Possibly Naomi Novik's Termeraire series if I ever finish reading all the books.

Anyway, I did this. I had fun doing it. I'm probably going to continue to have fun when I do it again.

Don't Look Down



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We just spent a really long time in the car getting my sister home. I'm going to go shower, have dinner, and veg out on TV all night long. I'm too frazzled to do more than that right now.

So a while back, I said I was never, ever going to cast the Dresden Files because it was just too overwhelming to cast thirteen books and God alone knows how many short stories. I had things to do, dammit!

Apparently, all it took for me to change my mind was kita0610 nudging me and going, "Wanna cast the Dresden Files?"

Which we did. We spent a month picking out actors for the cast (surprisingly, most of our cast ideas were in line with each other's, we only differed on Harry and Thomas), figuring out the layout, figuring out which pictures worked for each character, redoing some of the graphics when the pictures didn't work, scouring each book for the perfect quote for each character, redoing the graphics some more as we figured out easier ways to arrange the characters and pictures. It was crazy and fun and Kita did so much of the heavy lifting for this that it's not even funny. I think she's got the words to each book memorized, she went through them so many times for the quotes and she is the queen of finding exactly the right picture to accurately capture the essence of each character.

Before you ask, yes, we cast the Blue Beetle. And Mouse and Mister. We did, however, miss out on a few characters like Madrigal and Madeleine Raith, mostly because we'd already cast over sixty characters, and our brains were turning into jelly. Sorry!

If you've got different ideas for who should play your favorite characters, please feel free to share in the comments. I love hearing about peoples' casting ideas for their favorite series, and this definitely qualifies.

As well, I want to say a heartfelt thank you to dine who thrashed out some of these casting ideas with me back when I first started reading Dresden fanfic. She's the one that got me thinking about who would play Harry and Marcone, and it sort of evolved from there. Thanks, Dine, you rule! ♥

The Dresden Files



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I think it's safe to say that this is the geekiest thing we've ever done and we had a blast doing it.