the mermaid cafe

So there's this SPN s6 casting spoiler. ( cut because even the link text is spoily )

So, you know, there's that.

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I posted fic yesterday!

you'll be someone you wouldn't understand
Supernatural; Dean; spoilers through 5.22; pg; warnings: suicidal ideation, 2nd person POV; 2,238 words
This is your life now.

It was pretty much a joy to write, too. I think my current issue with writing is that almost all of my wsip have huge plotty things in them, and I am just not good at those kinds of things - they take me a long time to figure out and even longer to actually write and they suck a lot of the joy out of writing for me, because I spend way too much time fretting and not enough time just writing. I get in my own way an awful lot.

This, otoh, was right up in my wheelhouse. 2K words of introspection about grief! In second person! I think anyone who's ever read a story by me could have picked this out of a lineup blindfolded as my work, and I'm okay with that. I especially like the style, because the short declaratives were very definitely a choice, and I think it works. I mean, I don't know what other people think, but it does what I wanted it to do when I started writing it, which is the what I hope for when I sit down to write a story. (Hoping it works for other people happens when I post it, which is ... not quite the same thing.)

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It's funny to me sometimes how segmented fandom is. Like, I just saw a comment saying that nobody was complaining about the fail in last night's SPN episode, while my flist was pretty full of posts pointing it out (my own included). I also have to laugh sometimes because look, clearly I have a very complicated and probably unhealthy relationship with the show, and it makes me rageful and teary and happy, often all at the same time, but the one thing I've always been pretty honest about is that even though I do have a lot of love for it, despite all the gender and race issues, I think it is frequently not a very well written show. The pacing is often poor, the plotting is shoddy, and the dialogue often falls short of whatever the writers are aiming for. Where it succeeds, when it's working, is in the family dynamics and most especially in portraying the sibling relationship between Sam and Dean and how that has/hasn't/needs to change now that they're adults. And when that's working, I don't usually care about the other stuff. When it's not... *hands*

All of which is nothing new, but sometimes yeah, when I read posts or comments off my flist, and the focus is so different or someone says "no one is talking about" and I'm like, I could easily name ten people who are, or "everyone is talking about" and I'm like, "huh, I haven't seen that in my internet travels," it just reminds me that for all the small incestuous feel of fandom, it's pretty decentralized, especially SPN fandom.

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My dad's 75th birthday is tomorrow, so we're taking him out. Should be fun.

Today is Shakespeare's mumblety-hundredth birthday but I didn't feel like posting any Shakespeare today (even if Shakespeare got to get paid, son!). I don't know. I'm contrary like that. Have this one instead:

The Poet's Call to Worship

If a gold finch perches on your
sill, crooks his head,
and spots the world in your window
like Marco Polo on the Silk Road
to China and you guess
what this bird is thinking

If you are on a first name
basis with all the houses on your
block: the aqua house, the house
with the rock and the stripe, and
the 3 planter-geranium-house,
and you know the owner planted
her orange-red flowers like May
baskets just to divvy up with you

If each morning you tip-toe
into your garden and peer over
the embryos of beans, like the faces
of children and your heart sings,
Wake up little darlin's
and they do, with beans
green as Henry David

If a mutt, black as soil under
the curly ferns, makes you cry
like the old man in the wheel chair
who walks
each morning with his pooch
tied on by a rope or
if you are that man

And if you shiver in a slip
of June breeze under the 9am sun
because for a moment you see
the altar
of your life, whether it unfurls
in loops and hoops
of black ink or as unspoken
banners in your heart

Then you are a poet,
called to worship.

~Amy Genova

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Meh. I am so over this whole being super busy at work thing. Can I have naptime now?

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I could tell you the long, torturous story of how UPS dicked me around, but in the end, I got my box of stuff, which is all that really matters.

Also, I have ramekins! (Not in the same box of stuff) Admittedly, they are not the gorgeous Le Creuset ramekins I yearn for (tragically), but they are the cheap 8 for $10 ramekins that were on sale. No matter. I will have to make something to put in them now.

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TeeVee:

+ Chuck = ♥ ( spoilers for the ep and also next week's promo )

+ Big Bang Theory = ♥ ( spoilers )

Speaking of "Big Bang Theory," two links: Mo Ryan interviews Johnny Galecki, and Linda Holmes talks about de-gazing Penny (thanks to teand for that latter link), i.e., how making Penny a real, three-dimensional character instead of a hot chick with a cartoon voice made the show much, much better. I still wish Penny got more storylines - we've met the guys' parents, so why not Penny's dad who longs for a son? - but I think they've done pretty well at making her more than just a hot chick the nerds lust after. I also agree with the AV Club guy who wants Bernadette to stick around, and I'd like to see Leslie Winkle (and more nerdy girls!) back.

+ Castle = ♥ I especially enjoyed the bit with Castle and his family at the beginning, and also Ryan and Esposito. I wish they'd stop making Lainie the coroner the sassy black best friend and give her more to do, but I can hope she'll get more fleshing out eventually, just as I hope eventually Ryan and Esposito get their own Zeppo-like episode.

+ Speaking of Ryan and Esposito, or Jon Huertas, anyway, have all y'all seen these awesome posts which recast Marvel superheroes (and yeah, they are pretty much all Marvel atm) with actors of color:

handyhunter starts it off, and bossymarmalade and liviapenn make their own suggestions.

Me, I am still stuck on the AWESOME that would be ANDRE BRAUGHER as Professor X. And Jon Huertas as either Wolverine or Daredevil. Dule Hill as Reed Richards! John Cho as Tony Stark! Indira Varma as Jean Grey! There is even the suggestion of Michelle Rodriguez as a genderflipped Wolverine!

All of this is coming out of the rumor that Will Smith might play Captain America.

I am still annoyed that when the Joss Whedon-written version of Wonder Woman (I know - not Marvel) was kicking around, Gina Torres wasn't the first choice to play Diana Prince, because if Gina Torres isn't Wonder Woman, who the hell is?

+ I guess every SPN fan on the internet is weighing in on whether they want a sixth season? *snerk* As I know you're all waiting breathlessly for my opinion, it is a qualified no. If there is a sixth season, and the show continues on as it's now configured, I'll likely give it up. If they wrap up the apocalypse and shed its accoutrements in the season 5 finale, and go back to saving people! hunting things! the family business! with folklore or urban legend inspired monsters, and concentrate on Sam and Dean's relationship, then I would be interested in a season 6. But if they drag out the apocalypse and continue as they are now... let's just say that I've overlooked a lot for SPN. A lot. I knew what I was getting into when I got into it, but it hit a lot of buttons for me ( a lot *g*), and I got seriously emotionally invested.

Unfortunately, the buttons being hit lately are less the good ones and more the ragey ones - I am getting less pleasure out of the show than I used to (let's not even touch the fandom, which...yeah, no), and while Sam and Dean still kind of own my writing brain, I'm less willing to cut the show the slack it clearly needs when I'm not getting what I want in return.

I want to see how this season ends, but I don't really want anything after that, if it's going to be all mytharc without much brotherly stuff. (I also don't know that I think the show's writers could handle a post-apocalyptic world in which the apocalypse is not prevented, if they go in that direction, though that might be of more interest to me than just dragging the whole battle out for another season, which I'm afraid they might do, despite whatever Kripke's said to the contrary. Showrunners lie! It's rule number one! Some lie 'cause they have to, some lie 'cause they think they have to, and some lie for the sheer damn joy of it!¹ and sometimes they don't even know they're lying until later, but they all lie!)

It's not that I haven't wanted the show to widen, deepen, and broaden its horizons and its cast - it's that they keep killing off the secondary and tertiary characters I really like (and who served that function admirably in most cases, despite the writers often not knowing how to take advantage of the stuff they brought to the story), and keeping the one I really can't fucking stand.

So I guess that's the state of me and SPN. Though I did post a story yesterday. *snerk*

Night for many miles, and then
Supernatural; Sam and Dean; pg; spoilers through 5.10; 1,425 words
The way it's night for many miles, and then suddenly / it's not, it's breakfast

The title and summary come from "Meanwhile" by Richard Siken, and it kind of amuses me that I didn't think I remembered the conclusion to the line, but clearly I did, because the story was written before I looked up the poem to pick that as the summary (the original summary was Even alien babies come with hats, which - wouldn't you read that story? I would totally read that story), but the title was the first thing I had. The phrase 'night for many miles, and then...' was in my head all morning, and finally I realized it needed to be the title of a story, and writing happened.

I like how it turned out, though it is a little more oblique than I'd originally planned, and I really appreciate comments its gotten. Thank you.

--
¹Thank you, Meldrick Lewis.

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Apparently the graphics on my layout have exhausted their bandwidth? I don't even have a photobucket account, so I have no idea what's up with that, or how to fix it (i.e., what the URL is in the layout code to change). I suppose I will start looking at new layouts when I get home tonight. Or sooner, if it really starts to bug me.

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I am having a hard time getting motivated. I spent so much time and energy getting ready for all the meetings that now I have to go back and pick up all the stuff I pushed to the side and I'm like, meh. *yawn*

On the upside, I am taking Friday of this week off, and next Monday and Tuesday (Monday may be a holiday? I am unsure if we actually get Columbus day, but either way, I am not going to be here), so I will have a five-day weekend, which I feel like I desperately need. I'm not sure what my issue is - if it's just the letdown after all the rushing around like a crazy person, if it's the change in the weather kicking in early (I am usually good until January, because I am very fond of the holidays, and that gets me through the darkness of November and December pretty well; then January hits and I want to sleep until April), or if I am just that lazy (I am trying not to think about whether it's actual depression again, not until I've ruled out other stuff). I am afraid I may just be that lazy - I am awesome with deadlines to motivate me, but bad with the tedious every day stuff like booking conference rooms, rescheduling meetings, and doing expense reports. Sigh.

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I posted a story last night:

The Dover Test
Supernatural; Dean/Risa; adult; spoilers through 5.04; 1,606 words
If she doesn't laugh, she'll cry.

I like how it turned out, though I must have scrapped about ten opening paragraphs before I finally settled. Writing is hard! ( minor character spoilers for 5.04 )

Speaking of SPN and reconciling odd canon things, I found this season 5 timeline yesterday via friendsfriends (spoilers for all of s5 so far, obviously), and it makes more sense of certain things, ( spoilers for 5.04 )

Also from muridae_x, a casting spoiler for a later episode of s5. ( future casting spoiler )

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I suppose I should do some of that tedious day-to-day work stuff now, huh?

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When I was all excited and squeeful about Bela in season 3 of SPN, I had to put up with people repeatedly slagging off on her my comments, even after I specifically and repeatedly asked people not to. It annoyed me, but I still enjoyed the character a lot and wanted to talk about her. So I did. (and I would be willing to bet that if I didn't make this aside, someone would comment to this post telling me why she didn't work, or why they hated her, and basically why I was wrong to love her, and in the next breath tell me why I should learn to love the character they love and I hate.)

I find it's somewhat easier to love something everybody hates, than it is to hate something everybody loves, because if you love something, at least you've got your own squee to hold onto. I refused to let other people take that from me, and I don't see why other people can't manage that. Why does what other people think matter SO MUCH, as long as they're not shoving it in your face? (And no, posting in their own LJs does not count as "shoving it in your face.")

So yes, I hate Castiel and wish he would die in a fire go away. I have not been shy about it, either. This doesn't mean I hated season 4. On the contrary, on the whole, I liked it much more than season 3. I just wish the show had handled this particular thing differently, and I'm sick of feeling like he's been shoved down my throat by fandom, despite my best efforts to avoid him.

If you have been reading my LJ for any length of time, you know what my post-episode posts are like, and if you can't bear that someone on the internet hates a character you love and might say something mean about him in their own LJ, then either learn to scroll past without clicking on something that's going to make you angry, or take me off your reading filter.

You control your reading.

I have tried very hard not to piss in other people's Cheerios on this subject - once I find out someone really likes the character, I shut up on the subject in their LJ, and I will continue to do so, despite my overwhelming desire to tell them how WRONG they are. I don't read and don't comment on fic that features the character prominently, and I don't air my opinions on Dean/Castiel, which I hate, in public (except for now, and in person, where you have the added entertainment of seeing me froth and flail like a crazy person).

If you think you are bracing for fandom fail in season 5, imagine how I feel. I am going to be surrounded by people who gush over something I loathe, and no matter how carefully I plan out my reading, I'm still going to run into it, because it's everywhere.

So no, I really don't feel bad for you. I'm too busy feeling bad for me.

Feel free to comment, as always, but it's possible I won't respond, since I feel like I've said what I needed to say on this particular issue.

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You know, I was excited about the two SPN s5 promos I'd seen, and then I watched this one.

( discussion of casting spoilers and of images found in the promos )

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I have four two Dreamwidth codes, should anyone want or need one. First come, first served. Comment with an email address.

I also imported unfitforsociety over to DW, so I now have a full recs backup, which is nice.

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Yesterday, we were talking about writing and how I use structure sometimes to kickstart me when I'm stuck ("how can I tell this story?" as opposed to "what is this story about?") and I mentioned "a lousy history of tomorrows," so last night I went back and read it, and I still think it works - as a story told chronologically backwards, as a story told in second person, and as a story which uses nothing but sex scenes to illustrate the characters and where their relationship is at a given point in time.

I also reread a couple other of my Remus/Sirius stories, and oh, OTP of my heart... *sniffle*

Possibly because they are so tragic (and I'd expected them not to be when I started shipping them), my threshold for OMG MY PAIRING IS RUINED! is a little higher than most people's? I mean, I spent three years bringing Sirius back from the dead, with the added complication of having to write around a canon het relationship at the end there, and they were separated for twelve years, before which they'd clearly had serious trust issues followed by massive betrayal, so... yeah. I am kind of like, "they're not both dead? I can work with that." I think my love of reunionating comes from that whole Shack scene in POA.

TRUE LOVE IN A SHACK! ♥

*sighs nostalgically*

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I had some really good thoughts on "Lucifer Rising" while I was trying to fall back to sleep at 5 am this morning, but now I don't remember what they were. I am still trying to work some things out in my head.

( rambling thoughts on Sam and his powers, containing many spoilers for SPN through the end of season 4 )

Wow, that got really long, but I think I am a little clearer on things now.

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