The WormFork Book
Jan. 2nd, 2019 10:06 pmHaving gotten my hands on a copy of the new book, I spent a good chunk of my day reading it (I'm a fast reader and it's short). Here's my quick 'n' dirty review:
-Eragon is still a whiny, entitled asshole and Saphira is still a jerk
-Paolini attempted to write a child protagonist. It didn't work.
-There are some interesting hints in the story about Murtagh, but the whole thing ultimately had me groaning because it contains a truly ludicrous fight scene followed by some painfully out of place "comic relief". Yes, I'm afraid the "Mister Stabby" thing actually happened, and it's even more painful than it sounds because of how poorly placed it is - the child protagonist goes from witnessing a bloody fight to the death in which her father was injured and she was in very real danger to joking about Mister Stabby the Magic Fork. Like nothing happened.
-Scars are now important badges to show you're a survivor... but it's still a requirement to magically remove them so you won't be ugly.
-Angela's story tries to be clever and fails miserably because of how poorly written it is, and Angela remains an obnoxious unfunny jerk. On top of that her backstory is more science fiction than fantasy, and clashes horribly with everything else as a result. I'm not kidding - it's full of stuff about planets and mucking about with time and reads like a ripoff of Doctor Who. And apparently Angela can teleport. Paolini also jerks the reader around by saying Eragon learns about how Angela and Serious Ass first met, without actually revealing any of the details - just that it was really interesting, but fuck you, you don't get to see it.
-The story of the urgal girl who goes up against an evil dragon is just a drag. There's no tension, no character development, the style is inconsistent, and it ends on a boring anticlimax, a fact not helped by Paolini's continued inability to write effective action scenes by always writing them at arm's length rather than being in the moment.
-The framing story about Eragon in his new home ends on another anticlimax. A new dragon hatches, you don't get to see it, the end. Woo.
-The book is all fluff, no substance. As usual.
What can I say about it that's good? Well, for one thing Paolini seems to have dropped his obsession with elves; there's zero harping on about their amazing perfection and beauty, and Eragon himself has stopped licking their boots. He also doesn't seem to mind being labelled as human.
No Roran. The jackass isn't even mentioned.
The Murtagh story hinted at some interesting developments and introduced a mystery about some nameless new threat, which goes frustratingly unexplored in favour of a bunch of tacked-on schmaltz about Murtagh teaching a little girl some Important Life Lessons.
Elva gets some interesting development as a powerful but naive kid who doesn't know how to have a place in the world other than by being a jerk to people.
Overall verdict:

Paolini clearly hasn't learned a damn thing since whenever it was when the last book came out. Well, okay, I didn't spot any blatant copying, but on a technical/plot/style/characterisation level nothing has changed. Oh, and he still sucks at description. And I mean he really sucks. Eyebrows climb, landscapes are rumpled blankets tasseled with trees, description (and exposition) happen at the worst moments possible - the list goes on.
We definitely have to spork this puppy.
-Eragon is still a whiny, entitled asshole and Saphira is still a jerk
-Paolini attempted to write a child protagonist. It didn't work.
-There are some interesting hints in the story about Murtagh, but the whole thing ultimately had me groaning because it contains a truly ludicrous fight scene followed by some painfully out of place "comic relief". Yes, I'm afraid the "Mister Stabby" thing actually happened, and it's even more painful than it sounds because of how poorly placed it is - the child protagonist goes from witnessing a bloody fight to the death in which her father was injured and she was in very real danger to joking about Mister Stabby the Magic Fork. Like nothing happened.
-Scars are now important badges to show you're a survivor... but it's still a requirement to magically remove them so you won't be ugly.
-Angela's story tries to be clever and fails miserably because of how poorly written it is, and Angela remains an obnoxious unfunny jerk. On top of that her backstory is more science fiction than fantasy, and clashes horribly with everything else as a result. I'm not kidding - it's full of stuff about planets and mucking about with time and reads like a ripoff of Doctor Who. And apparently Angela can teleport. Paolini also jerks the reader around by saying Eragon learns about how Angela and Serious Ass first met, without actually revealing any of the details - just that it was really interesting, but fuck you, you don't get to see it.
-The story of the urgal girl who goes up against an evil dragon is just a drag. There's no tension, no character development, the style is inconsistent, and it ends on a boring anticlimax, a fact not helped by Paolini's continued inability to write effective action scenes by always writing them at arm's length rather than being in the moment.
-The framing story about Eragon in his new home ends on another anticlimax. A new dragon hatches, you don't get to see it, the end. Woo.
-The book is all fluff, no substance. As usual.
What can I say about it that's good? Well, for one thing Paolini seems to have dropped his obsession with elves; there's zero harping on about their amazing perfection and beauty, and Eragon himself has stopped licking their boots. He also doesn't seem to mind being labelled as human.
No Roran. The jackass isn't even mentioned.
The Murtagh story hinted at some interesting developments and introduced a mystery about some nameless new threat, which goes frustratingly unexplored in favour of a bunch of tacked-on schmaltz about Murtagh teaching a little girl some Important Life Lessons.
Elva gets some interesting development as a powerful but naive kid who doesn't know how to have a place in the world other than by being a jerk to people.
Overall verdict:

Paolini clearly hasn't learned a damn thing since whenever it was when the last book came out. Well, okay, I didn't spot any blatant copying, but on a technical/plot/style/characterisation level nothing has changed. Oh, and he still sucks at description. And I mean he really sucks. Eyebrows climb, landscapes are rumpled blankets tasseled with trees, description (and exposition) happen at the worst moments possible - the list goes on.
We definitely have to spork this puppy.
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Date: 2019-01-02 11:43 am (UTC)I'm working on a post right now about the segment of map that was included at the start of the book.
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Date: 2019-01-02 11:58 am (UTC)Why god whyyyy?
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Date: 2019-01-02 02:40 pm (UTC)"-The story of the urgal girl who goes up against an evil dragon is just a drag. There's no tension, no character development, the style is inconsistent, and it ends on a boring anticlimax, a fact not helped by Paolini's continued inability to write effective action scenes by always writing them at arm's length rather than being in the moment."
Did the evil dragon get characterized at all? Because they's something I'd like to see. Despite being nominally ferocious, all the dragons in the series are depicted as either noble or victims. Although in this case I'm expecting you to tell me the evil dragon has little to no dialogue and virtually no explained motives for its evil actions.
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Date: 2019-01-02 04:40 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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From: (Anonymous) - Date: 2019-01-02 11:37 pm (UTC) - Expandno subject
Date: 2019-01-02 11:53 pm (UTC)Nope. He doesn't get any dialogue and doesn't do anything except kill things. The narration keeps tiresomely reiterating that he's "cunning" and "wily", but you never see any evidence for it. Like, at all.
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Date: 2019-01-02 03:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-01-02 04:21 pm (UTC)From what you say, it only gets worse. Also, if there are sci-fi elements and planets in her backstory, that only suggests to me that Paolini is setting Angela up to be a crossover character in his sci-fi novel, making The Inheritance Cycle and the space story part of the same canon.
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Date: 2019-01-02 04:39 pm (UTC)https://www.paolini.net/2018/12/31/bn-edition-now-available/
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Date: 2019-01-02 04:49 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2019-01-03 02:16 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2019-01-02 07:10 pm (UTC)So far everything can be cut in a redo.
*The Eldunarya giving Eragon a non-stressful bedtime story of Murtagh in a dangerous situation and a new possible big bad.
*Murtagh is a terrible baby sitter at first I though he was going teach the girl how to fight off bullies but no he is actually going to let he be held at knifepoint and used as a hostage to learn a lesson. Great Job Murtagh!
*And now I am at Angela's part...
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Date: 2019-01-03 02:16 am (UTC)The whole thing with the stupid kid was just painful. The main reason why, for me, was that she comes off as a frigging sociopath. Held at knifepoint and sees her dad get knocked out? No reaction other than to think very, very calmly about the situation, like she's pretending to have an emotion but actually isn't. And ten seconds after seeing a bunch of guys die and almost dying herself, she's giggling over the stupid fork like nothing happened. Funny, I thought children tended to scream their heads off and cry for hours when something that scary happens.
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Date: 2019-01-02 08:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-01-03 02:12 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2019-01-02 11:33 pm (UTC)- anontu
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Date: 2019-01-02 11:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-01-03 12:44 am (UTC)https://twitter.com/aka_alx/status/1080609307102720000
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Date: 2019-01-03 02:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-01-03 02:09 am (UTC)*Angela's chapters were complete gibberish. Maybe she is a scifi cross-over character. The only reason I could like a scifi cross over idea is if its cannon in the original I could make the riders suppressing science a part of the anime. Also I think the chapters Angela wrote are out of order as a way to say she time travels. Even if it was not and it doesn't make sense.
*Elva talking to the Eldunarya to heal their pain...okay I guess I can go with this. And I am so making he partnered to Shruikan in my anime.
*I liked how they completely skipped over how Angela and Solembum meet.
*I was started to feel like like I was in an episode of My Little Pony in Twilight Sparkle's Magical School of Friendship but Eragon style with humans, a dragon, a lot of dead dragons, elves, dwarves, and urgals and was convinced nothing at all exciting would happen and then two dwarves were crushed to death but it's okay because Eragon hardly knew them.
*Now at Eragon being told a story about the worm and urgal girl. It has lasted so long I was starting to forget it is a story within a story. I am surprised Eragon and Saphira have been so polite not to interrupt. However I already read the comment about Saphira liking the dragon and if she is talking about liking the dragon and not the story she is an awful person/dragon and might as well say she likes hitler.
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Date: 2019-01-03 02:28 am (UTC)Ugh, I really hope not.
Too bad she never actually did it. They talked about her doing it to help the "mad" Eldunarya, but she just talks to the regular ones and then leaves. So much for that, then.
Paolini has this really bad habit of skipping over something potentially interesting, then telling you he skipped over it, just to rub it in. It was all through Inheritance
And the reader didn't know them at all, hence why I found it unintentionally comical when Eragon had a big cry about it. It came off as so incredibly forced.
I thought the same thing. It's so LONG and it rambles like crazy, and I kept thinking "If I told this story to anyone else they'd have interrupted about ten times by now". Because that's what people do in real life if you tell a long, rambling story. They butt in and say things like "Okay, but what about the [original point of story]?" and "can we skip this part?" You can get away with it a bit more if it's a book, but stories told orally have to keep to the point because the listener gets bored very easily.
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Date: 2019-01-03 03:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-01-03 03:52 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2019-01-03 10:35 pm (UTC)Then I got to the ending were the baby dragon hatch (Saphira doesn't meet the baby she just roars, besides the elves got their hands on that baby first) and then the audiobook cut to how to pronounce certain words base on if they were dwarf, human, elf, or urgal in origin and how sometimes the rules don't apply because races sometimes changed the spelling of names.
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Date: 2019-01-04 04:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-01-16 10:40 am (UTC)Well, because I started writing Consequence before this shit got published, I'm going to declare this right now: not in my 'Verse. In fact, anything that happened in WormFork is subject to Fic Discontinuity at my discretion.
landscapes are rumpled blankets tasseled with trees
Pffff, what, so the trees are growing in little rows at the edges of the "blanket"? If the landscape is a rumply blanket, wouldn't it make more sense for the trees to be, I dunno, little lint-fluffs scattered randomly across it? No matter how you slice it, this metaphor is ridiculous.
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Date: 2019-01-16 11:12 am (UTC)Mr Stabby shouldn't be welcome in any 'Verse. Mr Stabby isn't funny or clever - Mr Stabby SUCKS. You remember that one relative we all had growing up? The one who thought they had the magical ability to amuse small children while you sat there and stared blankly at their "hilarious" antics? That's Mr Stabby. It wouldn't even have been funny if it weren't about as poorly timed and placed as possible. When will Paolini learn that immediately after violent bloodshed and death is NOT the time to be making cute little jokes?
I guess so? Also Murtagh's eyebrows must have legs because they're somehow able to "climb" up his face. Among other absurdities.
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