yueni: my throat hurts yueni: my nose is raw yueni: and i keep peeing enchanteresse: *frowns* enchanteresse: I will kill you to put you out of your misery. yueni: tyvm enchanteresse: Poison is messy... let me think... I could stab you in your sleep. *sharpens knive* yueni: i want something quick. you'll have to do the clean up afterwards, so how messy the aftermath is is up to you. enchanteresse: I should just hang you... wait, not that quick. enchanteresse: I'll just blow your brains out. Please walk out in the garden, I'm not cleaning the carpet. yueni: there is no garden. apartment complex, remember enchanteresse: Outside. Don't be difficult, woman. yueni: Getting away with murder is all in the details, woman. enchanteresse: Please, I'm a master criminal. yueni: Are you? Then you'd better make sure my neighbours don't catch you breaking in. enchanteresse: Please. yueni: Just making sure. no need to be so offended. enchanteresse: Stop worrying about the details of your murder, woman. yueni: Ok then. I leave it all to you.
Chater: You insulted my wife in the gazebo yesterday evening! Septimus: You are mistaken. I made love to your wife in the gazebo. She asked me to meet her there, I have her note somewhere, I dare say I could find it for you, and if someone is putting it about that I did not turn up, by God, sir, it is a slander.
I realise that this post will be alien to the new people on my flist, and there are quite a lot of you this month. Gokigenyou! ^^ However, it has been a fixture of my LJ and I have been doing it since 2004. These quotes basically come from conversations off LJ, usually in an instant messenger format are posted once a month, archived by yours truly. Sometimes they are funny, sometimes they are witty; rarely, they are wise and deep. They have certainly been humourously pornographic in nature. You see the kind of company I keep.