Kaz: My big issue with stuff is that so much of it happens so often

Jesper: I feel the same way about things

Kaz: Dont even get me started on things

is this a safe place to say that I think jesper and wylan break up several times before they learn how to communicate effectively and live together

Why anyone would see Wylan “how about I throw you in the canal and see if you can swim” Hendricks and think of him as an innocent baby is beyond me

helnik grow up attached at the hip. matthias already has no idea how to be alone and nina is the handsiest person on earth, so at some point they just stop operating as two separate people in public.

jesper loves bullying them for it until it starts directly affecting his quality of life, like he’s just trying to take a piss. that’s all. and matthias walks into the men’s bathroom with nina right behind him, still talking at full volume about how the price of that bag she wants keeps going up and if matthias hasn’t already bought it for her birthday then he needs to hurry and she’s only telling him because she’s being helpful.

matthias doesn’t even react. he just keeps walking like nina following him into the men’s bathroom is a perfectly ordinary thing that happens every day, which, it probably is. nina stops by the door and keeps talking to him while jesper is standing there with his dick out because he hasn’t even had time to pull his pants up. and jesper knows better than to say anything because the second he asks nina what the fuck she’s doing in the men’s bathroom, he’s going to get trapped in a twenty minute rant about gendered bathrooms and why does it matter and what even is a men’s bathroom anyway, jesper, are the toilets different in here? do they reject women on sight?

so he just washes his hands as fast as humanly possible and gets the fuck out. fuck them both.

I have a love-hate relationship with fics where they show Jan acting as a “normal” father between abusing Wylan; because on the one hand, it’s a realistic portrayal of abusive parents, but on the other hand, it makes me SO FUCKING SAD. Fym ur being nice when u beat his ass yesterday???

anotherrr wylan hc is that he loves learning new words

its kinda a slap in the face to jan and everyone who's doubted him because like "i may be illiterate but at least i have a large vocabulary"

he probably has a dictionary that he flips to every morning and picks a random word and has jesper read the word/definition

then he proceeds to use it for the rest of the day

"saints kaz that's so vexatious"

Jesper: Even a gangsta like me needs a forehead kiss sometimes

Wylan: You live on the Geldstraat… you haven’t been a “gangsta” in over 10 years, Jesper

Been seeing this tag game go around, but I don't wanna impose on anyone else's thread so I'm starting my own.

Basically, it's just a poll of 5 things

Tags bc I wanna learn some things about some people: @cainsk9s @1seaweedbrain1 @sage-seretonin

This one is fun actually so @rotatingcrustacean @rose-gm-2910 @zero7-0-7 @oddandalarmingsexualfeelings @whydatewhenyoucanhyperfixate @binx-xyz I’ll leave some for the rest of you

this is fun but i feel like im forgetting something. anyway tagging people time woo not frightening. sorry i'm totally going to tag people who've already been tagged because i am evil @blueisconfused @binx-xyz @zero7-0-7 @likeananticurse @gabeofcrows @ionlywishtorot + open tags

i had to sit and think to come up with these. but at the same time i feel like there are several other things i could have put. idk

tagging: @kaslynspeaks @halfseaweed @tarosek @i-love-multiple-ppl @felixisalwayztweaking + open tags (sorry if any of you have been tagged already!)

* attention and the teacher made us read it out loud (it was english class)

Tags! @pisghettio @theasylumchild @blacksheep426 @apollosbookshelf @anyydidi @tired-shipper @akarie23 + anyone else who wants too <3

Tumblr is just group therapy. We are all in group therapy with each other.

everybody go in a circle now, say your name and tell us what animal you would ride if you were the size of a peanut (<- actual ice breaker question I once received in group counseling)

Sugar glider. His name would be Marvin and we would be best friends forever

I would ride a ferret. It would be black. So I can sneak through the dark undetected hehehe.

I want to see if we can turn this into a tag game...

@caravalxjurdan240 @artemisiamasterofnone @itzursafespace @causalshapeshifter @bardorsomethinglikethat @violetthediva @er-idkhehe2 @obsess-over-ink-on-dead-trees @wrensvoices @twinklefwinkle @wordslikepoisonn @imjusthereforthecake @sassychicsings @jacksfoxevangeline @lunaticcat28 @crane-mythos @booklover5111 + everyone else I forgot :]

Ohmigoshhh I love sugar gliders but I think I'd ride a mountain goat (don't ask) or a crow

@athreadofroses @caravalxjurdan240 @wrensvoices @writingprincessblog @fawnbunny01134 @artemisiamasterofnone @bratzberry @jamezplayzmc @b3anieperson

i would definitely ride a cat

@aedynlikesgreen @jaedyn-here @cjean14 @localinternetidiot @theitalianbookworm @localinternetidiot + open tags

Hi guys, im Aedyn and I would ride a pidgeon so I could pretend to be an elf from Hilda.

hi im cleo. Im actually afraid to touch animals. But I guess like a cat? Wait no I'm allergic to those...A SNAIL

@thesilligoosenator3000 @guttedalive @smolpinkgremlin

Hi I'm Ziggy and I would ride a lizard but like one of the little pink shiny ones. Not even sure if they're real or Pokémon but a small lizard

@thecatboyknight-offical @my-raine-storm

Hi my name is Ivory, and I would ride either a crow or a racoon

@alexmycutiee @averageao3enjoyer

hi im... ao3 guy? i would ride a dog, or and otter

@oranjesoranjesoranjes @itz-pingu-lol @iminahundredfandoms @adventures-of-impala @mademoiselles1 @raventhecrispy-offical @weirdo-offical and all my other moots + open tag

I’m…idk, a guy and I’d lowkey ride a shark. Like on its fin or hanging on to its tooth or smth :3

@wretchedcha0ss @eevee1218 @t1meislimited @i-love-inspector-gadget @oldtreejuice-offical @ant-the-anteater @vickysnowpawz @vixiestarfrost @miko-gone-bad any moots I forgot + open tags

hi I’m Wade and I would ride a spider or maybe a katydid. Bugs are cool

@theatrekidenergy @victimthr33 @flowersdontgrowll @decomposedchucklefuck + open tags

hey. Im adam and I would ride a finch or any type of owl

@decaying-appleseeds @pushingdazies @pixelpawsisaweirdname + open tags

Hi I’m Alex! I would ride a baby turtle of any kind (minus snappers) because little turtles are my soft spot. Specifically red eared sliders.

@jadealaide @justamoonstar @clownfish-casino @cosmicbrown1es and anyone else!!

hiii I'm Fish and I would ride a flying squirrel because then it can glide and climb and run so I'm basically unstoppable

open tags 😌

hiii I'm jasper......uhm prolly a bunny or a small turtle.....love those things.......

@kingofyaoithethirdd @izzynstuffz @timetravelingcowboy @cup-of-lavender-tea @choppedliver12

Hiii, I’m Shamil/cup and I would ride a vulture :3 I like vultures

@kuipermoths @timetravelingcowboy @livelonglaughlong @izzynstuffz + open tags!

hi im sage/kuiper and id ride a raven becuase they r cool

open tags

Hi I'm Wolfie and I would rideeeee uhh... prolly a wolf. But like a wolf pup. Yeah! :3

@sol-arsystem @livelonglaughlong @quixoticnsleepy @akichildofchaos @eatingbugsforscience @foxzutheone @the-canis-major @saunteredvaugelydownwards @s0lisawesome @sovereignidoldemon + anyone I missed/open tags

OO

HI I'm pearl and i would ride a bat :3 i like bats

@toadpolliwog @i-like-eating-bones

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hi im deo and i would ride a fish

@literarycrow

hi im crow and i would ride a raven

@oneepichermit

I'm Eph and I would ride a stellers jay :D

@captain-blue027 @kirbyeatsgrass @ember-ladida

eeeyup!! im maddie and i would hitch a ride on a lineolated parakeet (brief overview: green little jungle bird that can imitate certain human sounds, linnie for short)

and i. wasn’t tagged in this. but im making it my moots’ problem. @strawbxrrypies @aries0nmars @peskybirdonyx @onealonelynumber @starryshroomx @deltenner + @its-that-gay-fox @kitab00m101 @abolisolation + open!

uhh- hi, hello! i'n uno and i would ride a cat

any cat really, aside from the hairless ones. and any variety as well (ex: domestic caf, tiger, snow leopard <3, lion, bobcat, lynx, etc etc)

:)

@snakebird928 @sparkleblast73 @foxiethefable @cee-views @showmetothefandom @

Oh- um hiiii! My name is Snake, but you can call me bird or birdie or snakebird or whatever! Hmmmm… I really want to fly but also I feel like I’d fall off, so a ferret! Specifically, a ferret my friend has named kiwi, cuz she’s the softest cutest thing ever! :D

@chickpeathecat @yourfriendphoenix @mistof0les @r1neatswalls @flyingducksoup @thecouncilofdumdums no pressure + open tags!

Hiyyyaaa!! I'm Rin! And I would prolly say a BAT :DD because they are amazing

@doblesoul, @borealismage, @a-fandom-loving-rat-here, @t0ta1n3cromanc3r239, @lilicuzi, @littlebiterbeetle, @just-your-average-enigma

I'm Nadi and am the honourable mention. Yes, I'd ride an elephant shrew.

@therealmoonagedaydream @navyavianspeaks @glaessceilingmoth @tarshy-blex @sages-dick-joke-mutual

hiii I'm blex and I'd probably ride a bat or a rat

im tagging my favorite @bobaenderpearl and @nobleharbingerrealm

hiii my names pearl and what I brought to show and tell is a otter :3

@snailzissluggish

@theoneandonlybirdie7

hello i am canary!! contrary to the name i would not want to ride a canary because i don’t like heights. i want to ride a bunny. but like specifically in the way of the elves from hilda.

yeah that ^

@amillefolium @desertherm1t i’m curious!! (and open tags!)

hii i'm lefs! i'd like to ride either a bird (either a songbird an owl or a crow) or a meerkat!!

@neneshii @shrimpy5545 @cinturon-cadena @deltenner @yourlocalavian + open tags!!

hi i’m lola and i’d love to ride a red panda or a seal if i could breathe underwater and explore with it :3

im cinna and I would ride a marten. everyone needs to get more martenpilled NOW

@mosiquito @holymultiverse @reggie-mp3

I’m reza I would ride a shark because sharks are tuff

@iluvstrawberriessomuch @birbofdamoon @averyareyoudoneyet

im avery and i would ride a crow bc they run funny

@whitsantoss @airsdoodle @salmonfissh

hi im ari and i would ride a unicorn becuase magic shwoo showoo

anyways uhh

@darlingxxdeer @itsian4 @anotherlonelydancer @wishbonesnclovers @pete-da-cat and open tags because e im trieded

hihihi i'm olivia and i would ride a rabbit because can you imagine how soft and warm that would be

@i-love-multiple-ppl @akarie23 @and-st1ll-we-sleep @darlingxxdeer @rose-gm-2910 @peachtea10 + whoever else

Hi uh hello I’m Akarie and if I wore the size of a peanut I would probably ride a… I would probably ride a hamster or a baby rabbit. I think that would be fun

@tatertootsblog @tarosek @ionlywishtorot @oddandalarmingsexualfeelings @darlingxxdeer @felixisalwayztweaking @gabeofcrows @halfseaweed @katie-mcgrathfan @blacksheep426 + open tags for anyone who wishes to join <3

Hi! Im percy and I would probably ride a mouse or a ferret

@pisghettio @theasylumchild @blacksheep426 @blueisconfused @anyydidi @tired-shipper @apollosbookshelf + anyone else who wants too

Wylan naming all the stray cats he feeds 'Inej' is ridiculously wholesome like- AND he's writing a song about her brave deeds that can be played on her ship?!

Wylan really is Inej's biggest fan, she's like his idolized cool older sister

I just think that wylan's trauma is so tragic because he was hurt by the one person that should have loved him unconditionally but instead made him feel unloved and unsafe, and the fact that wylan tried everything to get his father to love him but he was just never satisfied, actually his father was the one to show him how cruel the world can be, like if you think about it even though the barrel is one of the most dangerous places in ketterdam wylan probably felt more safe there than in his house, he never really knew what a loving family is like until he met the crows, in my mind the last time that he heard a genuine I love you before he met jesper was probably when he was 8 by his mother. And what hurts most is that even though his father did all this horrible stuff to him he still believed his father could be good until he learned about his mother. Wylan Van eck you deserve better

spiderman movies are usually about how it’s hard to be spiderman but bnd was about how it’s hard to be peter

the idea of kaz being the most normal out of all the crows is too fucking funny to me. like yeah he ripped out someone’s eye but have you seen those freaks?

Jesper: prude,prude,prude

Matthias: stop that,there was only two rooms so it’s only correct to divide boys and girls

Jesper: pff, do you realize your correctness is making you share beds with Kaz?

Kaz: no, he is sharing with you and wylan with me

Wylan: what?!

Kaz: we don’t want you two to get ideas in such a small bed

Wylan: oh come on, we wouldn’t do anything with you two on the same room

Jesper: yeah,Helvar’s sole presence is a turn off

Wylan: and Kaz’s to me

Matthias: thanks (Kaz : how dare you?)

———

(at night)

Jesper: Wy? you awake?

Wylan: yeah, i can't sleep with Kaz so close

Jesper: i have an idea, Nina said Helvar sleepwalks sometimes. So we pick him up, he move him to Kaz´s bed and you come here so we can sleep together because you know you can't without me.

Wylan: And you can without me?

Jesper: don't interrupt, and in the morning, we wake up before them , you go and lay back with Kaz and move Helvar to the floor, so he will believe he simply walked out of bed at night.

Wylan: isn't it easier to move Kaz? He is ligther

Jesper: do you want risk waking up THAT?

Wylan turns to see Kaz sleeping eye wide open

Wylan: good point

---

both cuddling

Wylan: hmm he was heavy

Jesper: (yawns) like a sack of bricks.

Wylan: did we do the right thing? Matthias might get frigthened if he wakes up and finds Kaz´s face

Kaz: (mumbles)

Jesper: fuck, fuck, he is waking up...

Kaz´s head touches Matthias´s hair

Kaz: hmmm....Your hair is so pretty, Inej (Spoons Matthias and buries his face on his hair)

Matthias: hmm (strokes Kaz´s sleeves) red bird, your arms feel thin (yawns) i´ll feed you at mornin (sleeps again)

Jesper: oh....damm....this is...the most glorious thing i have ever seen....and we can't tell because they´ll know what we did...Oh Wy, to presence something like this and not being able to shar-are you sketching this?

Wylan moving the pencil quickly: you are welcome