Puffle Ponies

let's put Scooby and the gang in a genuine horror movie situation, i wanna see what these freaks are truly capable of

"didn't they already do this with—" no. put them in a slasher film. put them in a BLOODBATH. put this van full of weirdoes in a Texas Chainsaw Massacre scenario i have FAITH in them

THEY'D DO WELL IN SAW

okay I'm thinking about this

not Saw specifically but a slasher with a legit body count. Summer camp slashers are overplayed but I think it really works because it's the type of thing the Scooby gang WOULD get caught up in.

like some of the counselors didn't show up (got got) so the head counselor calls his younger cousin to see if him and his friends can fill in last minute. They show up and they're a bunch of nerds, one of them even has an anxiety dog, and they don't have a big role at first. It seems like the movie is setting them up as cannon fodder.

and then the deaths start and suddenly the nerds are locked the fuck in. The little one with the glasses actually fixed the phone line and is taking stock of all their supplies in case the vehicles go out. The counselor's cousin who seemed like a himbo has set up a perimeter and made makeshift alarms for all the doors and windows, knows all the entry points. The anxious one and his dog are keeping the mood up with the snacks and activities that were supposed to be for the kids, making sure nobody panics and starts making dumb decisions. Somebody tried to grab the redhead and she flipped him over and had him zip-tied before anybody noticed. Weren't they a D&D group or something? What is happening???

Fuck the slasher movie just effectively becomes Home Alone but with Four Kevin McAllisters

Bro's fucked.

art by Daviddv1202

at one point the kid with the anxiety dog says, "man, why does this keep happening? this is, like, the eighth time thid year!"

it's barely June. abruptly all the normal councilors understand a) why he has an anxiety dog, and b) why the dog has anxiety too.

*CAckles*

Achilles wouldn’t have died if he was wearing OSHA approved work boots.

Don’t let workplace safety be YOUR Achilles heel.

the touch starved traumatized tgirl would like to awkwardly sit near you and not initiate contact

Why are there just blobs of fake rubber meat that a bunch of unrelated microbes can build in the dirt but they've only ever been found in china and can't be classified any further than "biological objects"

free range scoby

...please don't eat the [Biological Object]

but i stay silly! *←said in the most world-weary voice you ever did hear*

“but I stay silly!”

Reblog you stay silly

on it boss

“In Russian, Baba Yaga’s name is not capitalized. Indeed, it is not a name at all, but a description—“old lady yaga” or perhaps “scary old woman.”  There is often more than one Baba Yaga in a story, and thus we should really say “a Baba Yaga,” “the Baba Yaga.” We do so in these tales when a story would otherwise be confusing. We have continued the western tradition of capitalizing Baba Yaga, since the words cannot be translated and have no other meaning in English (aside perhaps from the pleasant associations of a rum baba).  There is no graceful way to put the name in the plural in English, and in Russian tales multiple iterations of Baba Yaga never appear at the same time, only in sequence: Baba Yaga sisters or cousins talk about one another, or send travelers along to one another, but they do not live together.  The first-person pronoun “I” in Russian, ‘ia,’ is also uncapitalized. In some tales our witch is called only “Yaga.” A few tales refer to her as “Yagishna,” a patronymic form suggesting that she is Yaga’s daughter rather than Yaga herself. (That in turn suggests that Baba Yaga reproduces parthenogenetically, and some scholars agree that she does.)  The lack of capitalization in every published Russian folktale also hints at Baba Yaga’s status as a type rather than an individual, a paradigmatic mean or frightening old woman.  This description in place of a name, too, could suggest that it was once a euphemism for another name or term, too holy or frightening to be spoken, and therefore now long forgotten.”

— Sibelan Forrester, from her introduction to Baba Yaga: The Wild Witch of the East in Russian Fairy Tales

Vote for me and I will make werewolves real

Top scientists wil work hard round the clock to make it a reality

Bottom scientists as well

unfortunately the top scientists can be unstable, which sometimes makes them strange. many more just become bottom scientists

but either way they usually feel more up after a bit

of course they might come down unless they find a polycule. it's pretty a positive thing when two scientists feeling up adopt one that's feeling down

and honestly, who better to make werewolves than a slightly co-dependent scientist polycule?

I think we should figure out what age we’re living in now so we can say how it’s collapsing to each other

Our age of plastics is collapsing

Our age of information is collapsing! *remembers generative AI, nods to self* our age of information is collapsing.

our age of information is collapsing

why does oscar wilde take 150 pages to write something he could literally say in a paragraph

gay

compelling argument

what does this say about victor hugo

no he was just french

R.R Tolkien?

autistic infodumping

Put this together and I dread to think how long a novel by an autistic gay Frenchman would be. :p

[image description: the cover of the book In Search of Lost Time (Volumes 1 to 7) by Marcel Proust. end of description]

[image description: screenshot of a tag that reads “marcel i think i know where your lost time went” end of description]

Having someone ask ChatGPT in a meeting is like being a grown-ass professional adult in a room full of other grown-ass professional adults trying to solve a problem, while a colleague with one of those baby toys that makes animal sounds repeatedly presses the cow button. And we all have to stop what we're doing and listen to cow go moo and say "wow hm yeah that's not really what we're asking but the cow does definitely go moo, good thoughts"

Except increasingly the cow is being treated as a respected contributor to meetings as we pivot to a moo-centric business model that principally produces bullshit

“our age of bronze is collapsing” is this beautiful random burst of monty python dialogue amidst the drudgery of nolan’s vision and i think it should win the first-ever oscar for best solitary line

[wringing my hands as i look out my window directly overlooking wall street, watching the sun rise on october 29, 1929] aw fuck it’s the great depression

[in a speakeasy in 1920] I'm just saying, it's pretty ominous that it's called World War 1, right?

the problem with tumblr spells is all of you lil sluts are casting and not giving it time to charge so you're all casting cantrips and not 9th level death spells. everyone wants to be the one to take them down no one wants to be the one who assists

we're going to try again witha little but minimal casting

IT will happen in August of 2026. like to charge and reblog to cast but cast sparingly

Wait stop. everyone +like now and spread it a little but cast on the same day in August. lets try August 6th or something.

I have no idea what’s going on

Congrats, we have reached a period of time where there is a generation that does not remember the first memes.

Look, i’ve been on tumblr for nine fucking years and I don’t get this meme. I remember seeing it at some point, but have no clue what it means.

because this meme is pre tumblr and pre-youtube and is about 17 years old, almost twice as long as you’ve been on tumblr the ancient depths of albinoblacksheep will never die

But like, can someone explain. The fucking. Context.

It refers to a meme song, called The Badger Song or sometimes Badger Badger Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom. There is a snake in the lyrics also. You can watch the video on YouTube, if you so desire.

By way of further explanation, this comes from a time when most people had 56K modems or even slower, so downloading a full video clip of even crappy 320x240 resolution could take 5-10 minutes. You really had to want to see the Ballad of Bilbo Baggins or the Exploding Whale.

Flash bypassed this problem with cel animation. Each scene uses a static backdrop image plus small images of each of the moving parts, like pieces of a paper doll, which are then repositioned, scaled or flipped using a series of text commands written in a simple programming language. As the visual components were just a handful of static images, they didn’t have to be compressed as much as later Youtube video, making their edges as crisp as modern 4K. The most bandwidth-intensive aspect of Flash was the accompanying soundfile, but that loaded in a matter of seconds rather than minutes for video.

The result tended to look like a Monty Python animation, and so Flash yielded a bumper crop of the absurd from BadgerBadgerBadger to Pavoratti’s Elephants to Fight! Kikkoman, the soy sauce superhero. All of which only survive in imperfect, fuzzy YouTube captures.

I originally just put this in the tags, but I think it’s important enough to add to the actual post:

these flash animations aren’t just found in fuzzy youtube videos! you can see the original animations using BlueMaxima’s Flashpoint, a flash preservation project!

the software is free and open-source, and it has built-in players for flash and shockwave (as well as many other platforms). it allows you to search their archive of games and animations, and play them whenever you want!

they’ve got Badger Badger Badger, Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny, Charlie the Unicorn, the original asdfmovie, and just…so many other animations and games that were thought to be lost or unplayable.

as of their most recent update, their archive has over 130,000 games and 20,000 animations, and most of them look just as crisp as they did 20 years ago.

so, go put Badger Badger Badger fullscreen and admire all of those sharp edges and clean lines! or play the Escape the Room series from 2keysgames, or the old Barbie games, or whatever you want! it’s an incredible resource, and I have spent hours getting lost in it.

The U.S. in a gif series.

Pls keep reblogging this till this become a classic tumblr post , because it needs to be

did your parents what your ever until you tmrsandristed?