the problem with tumblr spells is all of you lil sluts are casting and not giving it time to charge so you're all casting cantrips and not 9th level death spells. everyone wants to be the one to take them down no one wants to be the one who assists
we're going to try again witha little but minimal casting
IT will happen in August of 2026. like to charge and reblog to cast but cast sparingly
Wait stop. everyone +like now and spread it a little but cast on the same day in August. lets try August 6th or something.
CAST NOW
What's your deal with uncles and nephews
IT’S MARCH
Uh… It’s still May…
It’s august
i wouldn't necessarily have a problem with seeing a doctor whose name was dr skull. but if his office was in a cave i'd be alert for signs of a lair
Terracotta Girlfriend: *moves half an inch in the dead of night*
[Stomping around the kitchen talking into a landline phone] Oh, look who came crawling back. You nevah call, you nevah write, but now all of a sudden you've got time for your poor, sick mother. What kind of trouble did you get yourself in now? Was it that wizard and his tomes again? Oh, no, I don't wanna hear it. I don't wanna hear about any "unspeakable curse" or any "demon runeblade" or any "infernal demon-knights of Kal'Nurothas" or whatevah. You're just like your fathah.
"Ma! Ma, there'sa fuckin DRAGON outsideah the apahtment! MA!"
All mutuals who understand my grand vision shall be entombed with me within my mausoleum if I ever happen to die
forgot to leave a note for my doordasher to bring a blunt weapon to get past the catacomb skeletons so congrats to whichever necromancer is about to get my banh mi i guess
Etruscan Wolf Head Helmet
6th Century BC
training my large cat to attack neighborhood dogs so that i dont have to do it myself #solarpunk
Please take my white ass to anor londo
*grabs you with my long gargoyle-like arms and flies off witj you*
Oh thank god hold me tight you scary motherfucker
the worst part of christmas is that santa’s elves are only called that because they’re gnomes, which are a dwarven culture known for their use of the phrygian cap and their republican rejection of monarchy, and dwarves, also referred to as svartálfar, are a species of elvenid within the elf-clade. but nobody talks about this, because elf cladistics aren’t generally relevant to christmas stories and children can hardly be expected to grasp the nuances of extrahominid taxonomy anyways.
the second worst part of christmas is the strong as fuck ice mummy
Asunder is basically the most classic way to be torn, and if you're looking to be cleft, in twain is a vintage but stunning choice