As an ace this is the only time "you just haven't met the right person yet" has made me laugh lmaoooo

me in a heist movie scenario: [right about to execute the big plan] i hope you guys kbow if this plan goes south i'm killing myself

driver: what

me: alright team. we kbow our roles. lets get to it

demolitions expert: wait can we go back to that thing earlier

grifter: yeah what was that about

me: charlie, i want you to take point. you're the most important for the early phase so you gotta make sure to nail this. remember we only have a limited time to pull this off, so the sooner the better

safecracker: youre not really gonna kill yourself if we fuck this up right

me: [putting on my badass sunglasses as smooth bossa nova music plays] i'm definitely going to kill myself if we get this wrong

i genuinely think about this post by @reductionisms everyday

My phone keeps asking me if I'm not a robot all the time because of my VPN and I'm not gonna lie it gets a little philosophical after the first ten times like actually how certain am I of the fact. I have seen the movie blade runner I know to be on my guard it could happen to anyone

I’ve been watching so many old garbage movies recently that I’ve started to have like 60s sci fi themed nightmares where I’m being attacked by like horrible ape monsters and it’s actually scary as fuck! What an awful problem to have

This is the kind of greed they talk about in the Bible

Bad Red Hood Comic: I’m a lone wolf. I don’t fit in and I don’t want to fit in. No one can know the dark corners of my mind

Good Red Hood Comic: I am going arrange the most bizarre and elaborate situation so I can monologue my inner most feelings to someone

OP: We’ve tapped into less than one percent of what Xianyu can do.

(Xianyu is China’s largest second‑hand trading platform. Its literal meaning is “leisurely fish”, and it is also a homophone for “salted fish”.)

Cnetizens: Why do people call Xianyu China’s very own “dark web”? Take a look.

some say many scammers lurk on the platform, so you need to vet listings carefully.