![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
One of the things I like least about Current Circumstances is how little I get done. Objectively, that is not a true statement. I do get things done, but not as much as I want, as well as I want, and not the things I would actually like to do.
The last is the real problem, but the feeling bleeds into all the other things, the stuff I do for dad, the stuff I do for work, the general adulting that having a house and a cat and a car make necessary. I do love my dad, but I also keep thinking of the Vonnegut story with the brain-interrupt radios, because I don't have a better analogy for what it feels like & what it does to my concentration to Always Be On Call. Some things - sewing (but not patterning/designing), doing beadwork (though again, not the design part), housework, solitaire - work ok with interrupts. Writing, reading, designing, planning, most art, really, really dont. So I spend a fair amount of time frustrated-to-angry, which feelings are Not Helpful in getting anything at all done, and not particularly easy to let go of.
(This is, of course, on top of Everything Else going on.)
At least I do have my own house, and cat, and car. And I am holding on to the writing, because it does help, even when the bits may or may not go anywhere.
In completely different news, there is a film coming out that Elayna posted about, Lost at Christmas, which has Frazier Hines and Sylvester McCoy as secondary characters, and I realized as I watched the trailer that I want *Their* story, not the main plot. I am sufficiently ambivalent about the main plot that I don't know if I really want to watch it (I have a *huge* embarrasment squick, and so many romance plots have embarrasement in them...) but I might once I can fast-forward to the parts I do want. But it does look like fun.
The last is the real problem, but the feeling bleeds into all the other things, the stuff I do for dad, the stuff I do for work, the general adulting that having a house and a cat and a car make necessary. I do love my dad, but I also keep thinking of the Vonnegut story with the brain-interrupt radios, because I don't have a better analogy for what it feels like & what it does to my concentration to Always Be On Call. Some things - sewing (but not patterning/designing), doing beadwork (though again, not the design part), housework, solitaire - work ok with interrupts. Writing, reading, designing, planning, most art, really, really dont. So I spend a fair amount of time frustrated-to-angry, which feelings are Not Helpful in getting anything at all done, and not particularly easy to let go of.
(This is, of course, on top of Everything Else going on.)
At least I do have my own house, and cat, and car. And I am holding on to the writing, because it does help, even when the bits may or may not go anywhere.
In completely different news, there is a film coming out that Elayna posted about, Lost at Christmas, which has Frazier Hines and Sylvester McCoy as secondary characters, and I realized as I watched the trailer that I want *Their* story, not the main plot. I am sufficiently ambivalent about the main plot that I don't know if I really want to watch it (I have a *huge* embarrasment squick, and so many romance plots have embarrasement in them...) but I might once I can fast-forward to the parts I do want. But it does look like fun.
Tags:
