I was in a class recently (I will not say which), in which a professor, as an end-of-semester summary, decided to give the students a rundown of How Things Were. Not "How Things Were For Me, The Professor, Speaking," but how things
Were, a blanket statement, that indicated How Things Would Be For All Of Us--and that bothered me. T
There is no "How Things Are." There is always an exception. More accurately, there are always exceptions. Which is why I'm generally so awkward when it comes to talking about writing and publishing and my experiences so far--because they've been
my experiences but so, so,
so not necessarily everyone's experiences.
In fact, very recently, the beginning of the time I had been dreading most dawned upon the horizon.
Reviews. Considering I was the sort of person in high school who focused solely on the negative assessments given by teachers--I'm still not the sort who, er, accentuates the positive and eliminates the negative by
any means--the idea of "reviews" were very upsetting because, I suppose, of different experiences. Every review comes from a person--a different person with different experiences; every person will come to a book expecting and wanting different things, and every person will leave it with different opinions.
I have stopped being friends with people based on different opinions of books. Opinions of books are serious business.
Naturally, I would like for everybody in the entire universe, including space-time-traveling aliens with green skin and inverted eyeballs, to enjoy reading
Havemercy. Getting reviews puts an end to this beautiful and alien-inclusive fantasy. So it was that I, with trepidation and a tendency to focus upon the negative with a dedication and tenacity I only wish I had displayed for actual, I don't know, work--faced this period in my life, braced and cringing and hoping for the best. I continue to face it. In the immortal words of Ned Flanders, I am a "Nervous Pervis," which makes this stuff super hard for me and also everyone around me who might want to use the bathroom that I'm hiding in.
Nonetheless, I'm excited to say that I did
not focus on the negative aspects of
this review of
Havemercy which (and yes, it's one of my firsts, so that means it will always have a special place in my heart) is definitely an amazing thing.
No book is perfect (I tell myself, haw-hawing). If you've written the perfect book then what's left to improve upon next time? What's left to discover about yourself, and your writing?
I'm just glad to write anything that can be a part of someone else's experience. Granted, I'd like everyone, including all the aliens, to feel that the pros outweigh the cons--this would be ideal. But IN MY EXPERIENCE, the big thing has been accepting both pros and cons, crying for the good stuff and the bad stuff hand in hand, and making it a part of that experience. That review, for example, has positive and negative things to say and I'm grateful for all of them. The bad makes the good more
real; the good means the bad can be improved upon; and
Queer Eye for the Sorcerous Guy is a TV show I hope one day to write for.
So that's all for now! Tomorrow I graduate and hopefully don't trip on stage, and after that I try to figure out what to do with this journal.
eta because of my lack of coherence: 1. What to
post in this journal, because I can no longer complain about Japanese; and 2. I loved the linked review, I love the linked review, and I will always love the linked review.