(no subject)
"Family members have been known to ask a survivor to stop having therapy, or to use anti-depressants, instead of working through their trauma. This request is made because it is more comfortable and convenient for the family, not because it is best for the person who is trying to heal."
-from ordinaryevil.wordpress.comI feel like someone from my 12-step group did that to me. I got hit by a car while living at her house. After she & her hubby let me have a room in their house for a few weeks or a month, I got a job. Apparently something happened on the way home from work, but I didn't remember it, it was pretty nasty. NO memory, just was scatty as hell, kept going back and trying to figure out what happened, but my "brain" kept saying nothing to see here, no problem.
I got hit by a car after working about 5 or 6 months--was just about to get health care benefits--and I could not go back to work even after I was better, couldn't sue the guy that hit me, couldn't do anything but watch tv. The woman, whose mother owned the house, did recognize it as depression, but she said, you go to the emergency room and get drugs. I couldn't. I called my mom's old shrink, who recommended a free clinic, govt. sponsored. But I couldn't get in for months, lady let me stay anyway, then I got a break and a friend was leaving her house empty while she sold it so she asked me to move in. She did want some rent but I couldn't pay. After a while her husband told her the house would be ransacked if it were left empty.
Which is true, terrible neighborhood. Every other person was a drug dealer--or hooker I think. Someone camped out under the porch. I was not sympathetic, did not realize it was the son of an acquaintance and mostly harmless. Though he was messed up and ended up in a mental institution.
Anyway, I did get free housing from two women, the first younger than I. I kind of feel like she was snapping her fingers under my nose, she was impatient with everything I did and every mistake, and you cannot live with someone like that. She was always screaming at her husband--who was not the world's greatest husband by any means, and he kept making passes at me after I kept saying no. Honestly what I resent is getting a job before I knew what the hell was going on in my head, even though it seemed like the sensible thing to do. I felt like I could never pay this woman enough rent, and after I lost my job and had to live off my bank account, I had to empty it and almost fainted on my way to the therapy--which didn't do much for me, wouldn't even look at repressed memories.
They sure did give me drugs though, because they got them for free. If it would have cost them anything, I would not even have heard about them. Unless it's really some kind of emergency, I do not want any kind of pharmaceuticals. Aspirin or ibuprofen for pain or maybe something stronger for surgery. Or if you are dying of cancer and want painkillers.