Greetings Federal Agent

kaerynn

bowenoke

like 2 months ago i saw a single lobster in the grocery store tank that'd somehow lost a rubber band and every other lobster was huddled in the opposite corner of the tank in a big lobster pile (presumably because the freed lobster was an asshole about having a free claw) like. im done with crab in a bucket mentality. You're not even trying to pull everyone else down to get out and climb up yourself, you're just being a dick. Unshackled lobster in a tank mentality

More you might like

bidoofenergy

fallout-lou-begas

vent art about the cicadas behind my apartment

the-king-of-lemons

undeadhousewife

spooky-catboy-angel

gammaraydeath

i like that the maned wolf and the bush dog are each other's closest living relatives. they're like cartoon henchmen

iwillstealyourjawbone

sayuupi

Sketching some bears from the bear cam! 🐻🐟

kaerynn

ittybittyvampires

nuxtamara

Oh jesus, I thought this person was exaggerating until I dared try this out of morbid curiosity. I hate the state of society 🤮

elfgrove

#and that's why people who think they can use gen ai 'in a smart controlled way' are kidding themselves #it is a tool but it's being used on you not by you #anti ai

the-king-of-lemons

doggosource

kaerynn

segamascott

hiveswap

junkyarded

so awesome that you can see something new come out and think wow that looks bad and then never watch it and keep living

hiveswap

sluttynurse

probably the worst attitude tumblr unintentionally cultivates is "the world out there is completely dangerous for you and no one can possibly understand you, so you should isolate yourself from it and avoid interacting with it as much as possible"

windsweptinred

Time to roll out the Andrew Marr quote again...

"If you put away social media and you walk out into the streets and you look at real people, three-dimensional people, they mostly smile back at you. If you look around you- you see perfectly decent, ordinary people getting on with their lives and inclined, by and large, to rather like each other, that is the real us. Let us not be fooled."

iwillstealyourjawbone rainbow-femme

rainbow-femme

They move in together full time and Ilya notices that Anya acts differently with Shane than she does with him, more quiet and less playful, and he worries that means she doesn’t like Shane or is jealous, so he hires a dog trainer to come over and see if there’s anything they need to do to help

After a while of talking about how Anya acts the trainer says there’s nothing to worry about, Anya likes Shane just fine, it’s just that she sees him as the boss and is acting accordingly

And Ilya is like. But. I’m the one who adopted her? And raised her before Shane got here?? And the trainer is just like yeah well she sees you more like an equal. And Ilya is like WAIT she thinks Shane is in charge of both of us?? And the trainer is just like well do you interact in a way that would make her think that?

Ilya’s life flashes before his eyes as he thinks of all the times Shane has come over with a snack for Ilya and a treat for Anya, or all the times Shane has announced they’re all going for an after dinner walk, or pets Ilya’s hair and tells him he did a good job at practice, or the fact that he uses the same warning tone with Anya when she misbehaves as he does with Ilya when he’s causing problems on purpose

Shane comes home to Ilya with his face in his hands going oh god I’m not Anya’s dad I’m her brother and she thinks we’re both your pets. And Shane just goes. What.

Greetings Federal Agent — like 2 months ago i saw a single lobster in the...

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

More you might like