of fire and ice

ive been to pools all over the isle of ireland. ive been to fancy hotel pools, uniquely shaped ones, and pools with fun features like slides and lazy rivers. my favourite pool ive ever been to is.. my boring local pool

my local pool is literally just your standard pool. rectangular, 25 meters long, 2.25 meters deep at the deepest. its pretty cold (one time i got in it and i swear it gave me brain freeze), though theres a smaller, 1 meter deep baby pool. i dont go in it often, or the big pools shallow end, because i seem to be out growing it

i know a lot of the lifegaurds there. one of them gives me flippers sometimes, and others will let me get pool toys im technically not allowed. i was once given a brick. yes, a brick. it was more fun than youd think itd be

honestly, id pick my local pool over the the other fancier pools. ive been going to it as long as ive been in this body, literally, and i must go multiple times a week

this photo feels a lot like me..

hi!

i dont really know why i kin tyson, especially because hes still alive. my first sign of kinning him was about a year ago now when i thought 'i wonder if it's possible to identify as a living orca. if it is, im tyson' and a couple days later i found out about factkins. i think it was just something that happened when i was reading about him and my brain decided thats me. im not too sure, thats the current theory tho

as for the split soul, thats just another theory, an older one that i dont really see being as plausible as the last one. i thought i maybe share the same soul/mind as him somehow, and thats why i kin tyson

i mourn the lives i couldve lived as a human as much as the lives i couldve lived as an animal. i like being human (some times), and im glad to be able to experience it first hand

humans fascinate me, and the more i travel the world and see their cultures, the more i learn to appreciate living with them.

they are very similar to orcas. we both have cultures, languages and dialects, similar life spans, different appearances depending on the environment, we are both very family centered and social species, and are both the most widespread animals in the planet. maybe thats what makes it rather easy for me to appreciate being accustomed to humans as a killer whale, maybe it would be different if i was a bird or another species vastly different from being human.

their technologies and infrastructure make being human worth it for me. seeing an intricately designed building is really a sight for sore eyes. being able to speak to people all across the globe is something i think a lot of people take for granted. i like seeing a bustling city or learning about a new place and imagining my life in it, which leads me onto my next point.

i dont know if being human once is enough for me. theres so many different possibilities for life in a human body! yes, i could travel the world but theres only so much travelling you can do in one life time. right now, i live in cold, wet northern ireland. but maybe in another life, id be a cowboy/girl in the wild west, a spanish teenager who parties all night, a canadian who lives in the middle of nowhere.. the possibilities feel endless! one life just cant get it all.

as saddened as i am by my death as sumar, im not too bothered. life is a cycle for me, ill get another go at some point. im glad that i met all the people and did what i have in this go, and im only 14 years in. i guess its just a really big butterfly effect. had i not died, i wouldnt be writing this. i wouldnt have the amazing friends i do, know about the amazing interests i do have, or so on. i think its a crazy thought. im happy with the life i do have, and i dont think id trade it for being theriform (maybe).

having past lives has really taught me to live in the moment and make the most out of life, because i dont know when it will end or drastically change. tomorrow i could wake up, or maybe not. and thats why i have to make the most out of life. sure, i often dream about being from a different country, but i love this one

maybe in another life i will be in a human body again (given their population, i think i will). that thought doesnt make me mad, or sad, or anything else. it excites me

orcinus orca of tumblr with alphanumerical ids

if you would like added/removed please say via ask, dm, or comment

yesterday's scuba dive didnt go so well. it was my first boat dive and so i was excited. i managed to do the backwards roll entry which i was very proud of because getting in any way other than a ladder does intimidate me a lot. at about 5 or 6 meters, i realised i couldnt get my right ear to equalise (adjust to the pressure). after a couple tries, i had no other choice but to get out. it was a shame because i would've been able to go as deep as 15 meters at some points, which would be a new deepest for me. i was quite annoyed the rest of the afternoon but i was soon cheered up by an aquarium and also my first time trying lobster (i enjoyed it very much)

yesterday evening, i heard i unfortunately wouldnt be doing a boat dive for the second dive today and it would instead just be a shore dive. after getting ready, me and 2 others entered through a harbour. the water was warmer than i expected for the atlantic, probably because we only stayed at 3 or 4 meters. a big European eel swam right under me and i collected 2 large shells, so id say today's dive was quite the sucsess compared to yesterdays

yesterday, i got to swim with my monofin for the first time!

i am on holiday with my dad for scuba diving (in fact, as i write this, we are on the way to the first dive), and i remember someone telling me that hotel pools without lifeguards will often allow monofins, so i decided to try it. silly me forgot to email to ask about the pools policy on monofins, but i brought it and luckily i was able to. it was an insane feeling to finally have a proper fluke and also to be the size of an orca calf. i accidentally lobbed it on the surface and it made a sound so loud it echoed throughout the whole pool and i could hear it underwater. the fin allowed me to surface, and just swim as a whole, without having to use my arms. hopefully ill get to use it again tonight

definitely swimming, but thats a no brainer haha. going out with my friends affirms it, especially because we are in such a large group, and also learning new skills

i own a very poorly made orca mask from when i had just awakened as an orca in 2023, and i also own a bunch of old masks and i think a tail. my biggest, favourite, and also most recent peice of gear has to be my monofin

made an inherently wild profile for myself. it is nice to see something for theriform orcas with my name and information on it. helps me visualise what it would be like if i was theriform.

would anyone be interested in a directory post of cetaceans with alphanumerical ids?

some photos of the coast over the past few days. im lucky to live in ireland, our coasts are beautiful

honestly through a LOT of trial and error. i originally thought i was a norwegian orca, then icelandic, then norwegian AGAIN, then alaskan transient, then scottish, before finally landing on icelandic once more. Ill skip the rambling for why I believed I was those ecotypes and how i came to that conclusion and just talk about how i settled on icelandics once and for all

1st of all, my appearance. I knew that i was a medium sized ecotype with largeish eye patches and a light saddle patch. When I thought of myself personally, I knew i had a fin that leans foward with a rounded tip. I knew i was primarily a fish eater, but the odd seal or other marine life sounded appealing. when I thought of the pod structure and culture i would have, the idea of a pod full of many generations of different parents and both sexes sounded most appealing and comfortable to me. Additionally, I saw myself living in the cold water of the atlantic ocean and a rather mountainous environment. If you know anything about orcas, you know these are all traits of the populations of orcas in the north atlantic. So, i had to dive into some deeper parts of myself that would help me figure it out.

2022 is my first recollection of having a large connection to iceland. i found out that my class was doing a project and i was ecstatic to find it could be about any country we wanted. That same year, i bought a large iceland flag and got i to country balls/humans for a very short period of time just for iceland. if someone asked what country i want to go to/live in/wished i was from/etc, my number 1 answer was always iceland. I feel astronomically connected to icelands coast, or just the country as a whole. i experience a similar connection to norway, but it is immeasurably bigger when it comes to iceland. another thing is the feelings I have towards the cruel captures in iceland of the late 70s and 80s. of course i have very strong feelings for any orca capture, but the ones i have of the icelandic ones feel more.. personal. It is very hard to explain, but the best way i can put it is how you may feel when you learn about your family's history.

all of this combined lead me to settle on being an icelandic orca. It has been about 4 months since I confirmed being an icelandic, and i havent looked back once

also diagrams like this really helped me!

i have met many, many orcas and what ive learnt is that it takes some orcas years to find their ecotype, some may know it instantly, or some may never know. ecotypes are so diverse, never mind their populations! if you are trying to find yours, dont be afraid to get it wrong and i wish you the best of luck

I really miss iceland and what my life could have been.

i have a decent understanding on what pod i possibly wouldve belonged to based off research and the connection i have towards the individuals in it. Its a shame i will never get to join them. theres a 5 & 7 year old calf in the pod and i like to think about what fun we would've had. its a thought that keeps me going. im beyond grateful for my friends and family here in human society, i wish i was with my pod nonetheless.

i mourn the organisations who would log any sightings of me. SN0797 with his mother and siblings.. yes, that is a sentence i wish i could read (well, i guess if i was theriform i wouldnt be reading it..). my dorsal fin would maybe stand tall with its two large nicks thatd make me easily identifiable.

iceland feels so far. i am thankful to live in ireland, a place technically not too far from iceland at just under 1000 miles away from each other, and have easy access to the atlantic ocean, but i feel like i could be standing on iceland and it still wouldnt be close enough.

when i look at icelandic orcas and listen to their calls, i feel genuinely homesick. why cant that be me? it really is a whole world ive missed out on. i long for swimming along the coast and seeing the beautiful scenery. i long for freedom. being human feels like punishment for a crime i didnt commit.

i can use countless labels, but at the end of the day ill never be what i was meant to be. oh, iceland, will i ever make it home?

how life shouldve been

the sea would lap at your back and youd be free, just like you were always meant to be

humanity would be foreign to you. something strange, a mystery

your calls in the sea, never ending. a language no one will understand. isnt that how life is meant to be?

the sky above, the land around. your heart would never know the pain of humanity

youd breach and play all day.. if life was how it was meant to be

the seals and fish would never end. your pod would teach you and youd teach those after you. if only this was reality

maybe youd be a success. growing old, the whistle that is your name would be carried by your descendants through the sea

maybe youd be lonely, or end up in captivity

maybe youd die, but at least life was how it was meant to be

tilikum is my favourite orca ever and seeing as im a factkin of sumar (one of his sons), hes also my father. despite this, i have next to no paternal connection for him. i have one memory of him, but that is through a gate. as far as i know, we never even met. because of this, i never got to form a father/son bond with him, and so that is why i dont see him as my father. the same goes for tekoa and malia. i know they are my siblings, but i dont really see them as such.

my mother, taima, is a whole different story. i fully see her as my mother. i watch the little footage of us together every now and then, but i often end up tearing up.. which, ill admit, is what happens when i watch footage of just her. the reason why i actually feel maternal connection to her and no connection to the rest of my family is because i actually got to spend time with her, even if it was less than a year. I have considered her one of my favourite orcas in the past, but it just feels awkward for me to say because i see her as my mother. i do fear her and sometimes dont wish to talk about her because i miss her that much, but i love her very much

taught myself to dive properly today! it really feels like breaching

i originally learnt 4 years ago and also in swimming lessons before that, but i just kinda.. stopped. i forgot how to do it myself, but somehow i managed to teach my cousin a year ago. by redoing all the steps i learnt those years ago, i was able to do a full dive standing up in probably under 10 tries. im a very fast learner when it comes to swimming

also i was swimming for 3 hours the other day. not at the leisure centre for 3 hours, in the water for 3 hours. believe it or not, thats not even my longest swim. my longest swim was 4 hours back in 2024

watching videos of orcas in the north atlantic really reminds me of what i lost :((