nathaliebjoern asked:

What concerns would A have going on a roadtrip in USA in an alien/sci-fi tourist stops type way (circa 2013)? A is Black, grew up and lives in Denmark, parents are from African-country-yet-to-be-determined (possibly Ethiopia, but I do take suggestions here), going to USA with (white) girlfriend. Example: they’re worried about being two young girls on a road trip (exacerbated by being wlw) so they are taking self defence before leaving (bonus: gets convenient/relevant later when they have to fight sudden, real aliens). Is there some specific concern A would have (bonus if relevant for alien hunting or car chasing adventures)? What precautions would she take or concerns might she have? Any concerns she might discuss with gf, even if there are no precautions to take? Or just ruminate over in internal monologue, i guess, but i want them to have a healthy relationship with lots of communication lol. She’s the planning, overprepared type! I want the focus to be on their Alien fighting road trip adventure and coming of age lesbianism in the background, but i want to still acknowledge any issues A might have.

“I want the focus to be on their Alien fighting road trip adventure and coming of age lesbianism in the background, but i want to still acknowledge any issues A might have.”

How far the world has progressed in terms of discrimination in your alien sci-fi world is up to you. Based on your description, racism and homophobia still exists. Perhaps it just isn’t as much of a problem in this setting or story. Or encounters would depend on the town so your characters avoid and don’t happen upon areas that may be a problem for the couple. Either way, it is not erasure to have a story where discrimination isn’t something the characters encounter. I find this to be especially true for science fiction and fantasy.

As a Black woman who likes to travel, and in an interracial relationship, I take certain precautions before I travel. One way I do this is to research the travel experiences shared from Black women and mixed couples who’ve been to the places that I’m considering. I also look into news stories and reports about any incidents in the area.

This could also apply if you’re LGBTQIA, in an interracial relationship and so on. As your character is a planning, super prepared type, it’d make sense if they mapped out their stops to make sure they were interracial couple / Black / LGBTQIA+ friendly and avoided any places that were not.

Also, what “friendly” or safe looks like may vary. Not all travel experiences are blatant in their discrimination or othering behavior.

What general attitudes might range from: ideas

• The travelers blend in. There’s enough diversity and tourism where you don’t get an unwelcome attitude from the townspeople.
• Some stares, second-glances and curiousity, but little to no blatant hostility.
• Strong “celebrity-status” othering, to the point of being touched, pictures snapped of you, asked to poise for photos if asked at all, given free gifts, etc. (Note: this can be quite uncomfortable)
• Stares and standoffish behavior from locals, but no incidents of violence.
• Bold-faced hostility, such as intimidating glares, recording, taunts, yelling, and possible physical encounters like spitting.
• Explicit threats, violence, being warned to leave, high risks of bodily harm.

Note that this doesn’t mean everyone in a place would all act this way. I’ve traveled where there were stares of curiosity in one city or standoffish behavior in others, but it didn’t extent to everyone in those places, staff, and so on. It also didn’t sum up every single encounter. I’ve even heard tales of the very hostile places where a person warns the traveler that they should leave to avoid trouble from others in the town, usually out of kind warning. One can travel anywhere, really, and come across hostile people, and in that same town experience kindness.

Applying these travel experiences your story

The characters just mentioning that they’ve done their research and will avoid these kinds of places with known negative experiences should be enough. You don’t need an actual experience of discrimination to play out, if you’d rather avoid that.

If you did want to include something without including an active experience, you could bring up the matter by mentioning the history of a place. For example, they learn some info and tell their partner that “Blank, Tennessee was once a sundown town and would’ve been unsafe for us ninety years ago.” Or they mention some historical event that happened at a certain place, possibly even visiting a historic monument or museum.

I hope this helps; your story sounds fun!

~Mod Colette

@skyleree1 asked:

Hey! So I have a quick question. I’m writing a pirate thing/au/whatever you call it? Lol. And I have a black character, and a white character. (of course, i have more than one black character, but i’m focusing on this one). They view eachother as sisters, even though they are not related. 

I have one small scene that may or may not come off as racist. This is it:

“This, is Rue.” Commander Lieutenant Kentwell said. Catherine looked at the short girl that was being reffered to. 

“We’re sisters.” Rue smiled, and Cathrine frowned.

“By blood?” She asked.

“No, by oath.”

I want to know if the ‘by blood?’ line comes off as questioning one’s relations with another due to skin tone. Thank you, and stay safe! <3

I think this line is fine to include. Yes, she is certainly questioning them, but I can see why she was curious and it’s a realistic reaction. It was a blunt and somewhat rude question, though, a bit of a micro aggression. 

Now, you might acknowledge briefly that they get that a lot, people who question (and thus why she was able to answer so quickly because she’s used to it). You could also acknowledge that it is indeed rude and how it makes the girls feel.  It might’ve be more offensive to the two if they were blood or legal sisters, to have folks questioning their connection with such inquiry vs. just accepting what they said. Do they not really care, are they both or one of them offended by it? If so, why?

~Colette

@dykecalianna asked:

Greetings! I follow this blog whenever I can and I recently came out with something in my story that I wanted to inquire about:

There’s a white woman in her late 30s, let’s call her “Vicky”, who (along with her daughter) is a victim of domestic abuse, and another character, a Black woman, “Cherry”, is made aware of this after a change encounter the two have at a café. She helps Vicky flee from her husband and lets her stay in her home - later, the two fall in love and get together.

I’m very aware of the White Saviour trope, and do my best to stay away from it. This is nothing like it, but does this fall under some sort of negative stereotype for Black women, like “saving the fragile white woman”? I should note that Cherry and Vicky are the exact same age, only Cherry is single and living alone. She is described by many as being very cute, and she is also secretly a well-renowned writer (she uses an alias when writing, so she kind of feels like a super heroine, which then ties with her storyline about Vicky). Also, I think it’s pretty clear, but the abusive husband is also white like Vicky.

I think it’s touching that Cherry saves this woman and her child from this abusive situation. I would like to discuss some areas that may help you explore if there’s a mammy / strong black woman / sacrificial negro dynamic here.

The chance encounter

Did Cherry (Black woman) meet Vicky (white woman) for the first time and instantly decide to get involved? I feel that it’s a bit sacrificial for Cherry to place herself in the middle of what could be a potentially deadly situation, as domestic abuse too often leads to, for a perfect stranger. 

This level of involvement would not align with how much one might put on the line for someone they do not know at all. Cherry is now at risk of retaliation from Vicky’s abuser if he finds them, or Vicky allows him back into their lives and lets them know where her home is / they make up and he learns about Cherry’s involvement etc. 

Their relationship prior to Cherry helping Vicky

The risk might feel worth it for someone you know, but it’s a lot to ask of a stranger. In the case of a “chance encounter becomes savior” situation, she also doesn’t know anything about Vicky and is letting a perfect stranger into her home. Of course, everyone is different and based on her personality and experiences may be willing to assume these risks. The child being involved might also influence that. Cherry might be one of those people, but it’s worth acknowledging as a big undertaking in the narrative. Her actions should not be brushed aside as nothing or just “her duty”. Too often servitude is just assigned as natural for Black women. Their own lives take a back seat and to take care of other people / ensure their well being comes first.

Suggestion: built a history between the women

A better fix might be to develop some level of a relationship between the two before Cherry risks so much to save them. They could even just be acquaintances. It helps if they know each other on some level,  at the least. Even if it’s strangers that see each other often at the cafe and strike up small talk all the time but never speak outside of that, old high school classmates that ran in different groups, friends of friends. This creates some sort of relationship where Cherry feels she knows Vicky “enough” to assume the risks, especially as a child is involved. 

Without knowing the exact circumstances, I’ll pose a few scenarios and explore the pitfalls.

If she witnesses the abuse

• Witnessing the abuse and getting involved as she sees it happening - I wouldn’t fault her for that. I’d instinctively get involved too!
• If something happens in the public eye, it would help if other bystanders get involved too; Cherry just happened to take it to another level and offered her sanctuary.
• Again I’m still having a hard time figuring out why Cherry has been placed in this situation before proper authorities, women’s shelters, etc. if she doesn’t know her at all. As I’d suggested, it might be best if they had some sort of relationship prior, no matter how subtle.

The escape from the abuser

What role does Cherry play in the escape?

Physical strength / sacrifice 

Is she expected to use brute force aka be “Strong” to physically save Vicky or fight off her abuser? I would avoid that, as you will have a Strong Black Woman on your hands.

Must Cherry put herself in direct danger with the abuser to save Vicky and the child?

It’s asking a lot for Cherry to storm into the home, potentially get harmed or die for a stranger in a domestic abuse situation that she does not know a lot, if anything, about. For example, what if  there’s deadly weapons in the house? 

Could Cherry involve others to help?

Maybe Cherry could call authorities and possibly show up alongside them.

If authorities aren’t involved, perhaps she waits outside to drive the getaway car as the friend and child escapes (I’m 100% inspired by Enough with Jennifer Lopez). Even better, if she could bring along someone else, preferably non-Black, who could help in the situation.

Emotional strength 

The Strong Black Woman is often about being forced into emotional labor.

• Is Cherry allowed to react with fear, sadness and anxiety about the situation? Or must she keep it together for the sake of the White woman? Perhaps it’s triggering based on her past; she should be allowed to process that.

• Allow Cherry to deal with her own wave of emotions. Even better if she has an outlet for that. She might not lay them on Vicky, but she also shouldn’t be expected to be a perfectly composed rock whose purpose is to comfort and support Vicky. 

• Vicky shouldn’t rely completely on Cherry for emotional support. She needs other sources to expel her own fears and emotions. Whether a therapist, parent, other friends, chat forums, journal, or a dog!

Mammy (dynamic between Cherry and the white woman and child)

Given the other factors in the story, I would stay away from Cherry being asked or offering to care for the child. Vicky should take primary care for her child or get help from others besides Cherry or other Black women, as this would give their dynamic mammy and servitude vibes. 

Same applies to Cherry physically taking care of and serving Vicky - avoid it. Also, once Vicky is up for it or she has the means, they can split the chores or Vicky does the majority or contribute to housing expenses (again, if she has the means) but in some way she should pull her weight, so all the domestic care does not fall on Cherry. 

It’s all about avoiding putting Cherry, the Black Woman, in the position as savior of white woman and child + servitude role any further than the implications the first incident creates. Initial comforting and support is fine, but the rest of the white woman and child’s world shouldn’t continue to rest on the Black woman’s shoulders.

Explore Cherry’s life outside of the white people

A very important aspect that will keep this away from SBW and Mammy tropes; give Cherry her own life. Cherry absolutely needs to have a plot line that does not revolve around Vicky and child. She needs to talk to other people, and about other subjects, besides those two. Her main problems, drama, and highlights of her life shouldn’t revolve around them. 

Give her emotions, weakness, and vulnerabilities. She needs other friends and/or family, interests, and a little romance absolutely helps too. She is this amazing writer, so you’ve got something to work with right there! Ultimately, she needs her own life, things going on that have nothing to do with them.

Good luck with your story!

Colette

@anacletheo asked: 

Hi! I run into your blog and, as I was reading through your posts and answers to other users, I thought you could help with something that’s been bothering me.

Interracial lesbian couple

I’m writing a fantasy story in which romance, despite not being the main plot, is recurring. The main lead is a lesbian couple, a white girl and a black girl.

One the internet, I’ve read several black people say they prefer dating only black people, which I totally get. I’ve also read black people complain that homosexual black characters are allowed to exist on screen only if they date someone who’s white. Basically, there’s not enough representation of black lesbians dating other black lesbians or black gays dating other black gays. While I think that’s true and I believe we need more stories that focus on this matter, I was wondering if it’s still ok for me to write about an interracial couple? I’m not doing because I want to push an agenda. I don’t think black people, especially lesbians and gays, should only date white people—that’s insulting. Still, I’m afraid I’m doing something wrong.

Characterization

The girls both have their own stories and their characterization focuses on important things of their life. I want to portray them as a healthy couple. They know each other, they slowly fall in love, and when they get together, they grow up as a couple each day. For example, the white girl suffers from depression and the black girl slowly understands how to live with that, but I don’t wanna risk writing her as someone who’s there just to take care of others. She also benefits from the relationship and at some point her girlfriend helps her overcame a big problem. The black girl (still working on the names, that’s why I refer to them as the white girl and the black girl) is an independent and strong woman, but not as in the “black woman who can handle everything on her own and never asks for help” stereotype. She is also sweet, caring, intelligent, creative, and a lot of other things. She’s into art and has dreams, but also fears and weaknesses like the others.

I’m a female white writer, as you may have gathered. I don’t want to erase the blackness of my characters, but I also know it would be very wrong to make it all about their skin color. They all have lives, families, friends, enemies, dreams, jobs, hobbies, etc.

The point is, I care a lot about the black girl I mentioned before. As I said, romance is not everything there is to know about her—quite the opposite. But since she and the white girl are the main characters and the main couple, the story focuses on their relationship. They both have their moments of weakness and need the other to be supportive. Do you think I’m doing something wrong with the black girl? Am I unintentionally promoting harmful stereotypes?

P.S. English is not my first language, I apologize for any mistake. Also, I hope the question is not too long. Sorry for bothering you.

Is it okay to write a Black Woman x White Woman couple?

Yes. BWxWW couples exist! These pairings should not be considered not diverse enough or as being overplayed in terms of representation.

Other Black lesbian / gay pairings (Black person x Black person or Black person x Other PoC) are important and a very valid concern and representation folks want to see, too. Black women in healthy relationships in media are severely underrepresented in all forms. To simply have a BWWW doesn’t minimize your pairing and the rep it brings, but is just another form of it.

At the same time, if LGBTQIA+ Black folks want to chime in, you’re totally welcome!

Characterization of Black Character

I’m always wary when a Black woman is being described as “independent and strong” as you’ve done here. Nothing wrong with those traits in itself. It’s problematic when it becomes the character’s prison and a means to disregard their well-being, since they can take it/handle it themselves/not that bad.

You note that your Black girl:

• Does not handle everything on her own or never ask for help
• Has a personality aside from strong (sweet, caring* intelligent, creative, etc.)
• Has hobbies (Art, dreams)
• Has fears and weaknesses [good, show this]

On its face, she seems well-balanced and not conforming much to the Strong, Independent Black woman stereotype.

*Onto the part about her being caring and supporting her girlfriend with her depression.

You seem very aware of the pitfalls, which is key to not falling into them. It’s absolutely okay for the Black girl to support White girlfriend emotionally. As long as it’s not all one-sided support, she, too, gets something out of the relationship. Issues arise when one party provides constant emotional support and servitude.

Again, you note some promising things!

• You “don’t wanna risk writing her as someone who’s there just to take care of others.” [Good. then make sure she has her own life and issues, hobbies, other loved ones and self-interests.]
• “She also benefits from the relationship and at some point her girlfriend helps her overcame a big problem.”

Great! Sounds like you’re on the right track.

An answer I think that would help you out:

Black Man, Protecting his Traumatized White Wife

~Mod Colette

Anonymous asked:

I have a biracial protagonist (French African) from Uganda who has only lived in Uganda who eventually has to travel (she’s not given much of a choice) to a predominantly white country. She joins a group with a diverse cast but the one white girl in the group assumes she doesn’t know a lot about… anything really, and they eventually have a fight and the white girl is made to seek redemption on the main protagonist’s terms. They eventually kindle a romance. (1 of 2)

Would making the white girl mean to the main protagonist and then being forgiven and put into a relationship with the main protagonist seem problematic? Almost like white guilt being the focus or the main character just being there while the focus is on the white girl? I feel as though not mentioning race would be a bit disrespectful as this story takes place in our modern day and age and racism always factors in, but I don’t want this to be about forgiving white people either (2 of 2)

Why was the white girl being mean to her in the first place? Is “mean” meant to mean racist? Because if a white person treats me (and me only from what I see) as if I’m ignorant or unintelligent with no basis for that reasoning, I’m going to assume that reasoning is due to racial prejudice.

What is her reason to just assume the African girl knows nothing? Without an explanation, it’s looking as if you have a white girl who is racist towards Black girl, gets her forgiveness not long after, then dates her; that’s disturbing to me. 

Also, it wouldn’t turn into a focus on the white girl unless you shifted the focus onto her, which I do not recommend. In any case, I’m personally turned off by the idea of putting Black characters with the (potentially racist) characters who bully them.

~Mod Colette

I find it off-putting too. Even in the “best” situation where her racism stems from ignorance and the African girl is forgiving, it would feel like it would put her through an awful lot of struggles and pains (for the white girl to become a proper ally). To me, this gives the feeling of either downplaying racism and Black girls in general.

It also reminds me of this post here regarding abuser redemption arcs. 

~Mod Alice

I think it could be done; it needs to be handled delicately. The white girl needs to earn the protag’s forgiveness. Like, really earn it. And then also, with the romance, it probably shouldn’t happen right away–there should be a period where the white girl works to earn the protag’s trust too. 

And the effort needs to come from the bully to prove that they’re not an asshole and not like ‘oh, no, the bully has problems, and they’re a Human Being and I am so touched.’ The narrative needs to be sympathetic to the victim, and the onus needs to be on the bully to prove they’ve changed for the better. The narrative (and other characters) shouldn’t be pressuring the victim to forgive the bully if they don’t want to. 

To plug a bit, I have a similar pairing but 1) it took a long time for them to get to the romance point 2) the bully had to apologize without expecting forgiveness and 3) literally they were cautiously friendly for the longest time before romance got into the picture and the victim was a little afraid he’d turn on her for a while. 

~Mod Jess

I’m not Black but just speaking as someone in a couple of other marginalized groups, the idea of “date my racist bully” as a plot device squicks me a little (why not people in the same group dating each other b/c one defended the other from racist bullying?) I’m even more squicked at having such a story center on the racist bully rather than the other person. So if you’re still stuck to the “date my racist bully” plot, at least don’t center the racist character.

I mean, move it around a little. Would a bisexual girl date a straight guy who’d called her a slut and a rug-muncher? And if I never hear about another Jew/Nazi fandom AU it will still be TOO SOON.

–Mod Shira

Though I would mention any slur use would definitely be a no-go for developing a relationship in my opinion. Some prejudice? With some work and time as Jess outlines above, maybe they can work it out. Outright dehumanization/slurs? A no-go.

~Mod Colette

The way Jess handles it is the way it should be. But I’ve just seen authors recently assuming that when it’s a marginalized person, they need to forgive easily without any effort being put in on the former bully’s part. It’s like an extension of the whole nonsense about boys bullying girls to show that they like them.

~Mod Kaye