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“But EPIC isn’t accurate either!”

I’m sorry but I’m gonna judge a movie with a 250 million budget and Oscar winning director harsher than I judge a musical made by a (formerly) smaller artist that started posting his music on TikTok for the fun of it

*a few months after The Ithaca Saga*

Odysseus: *wakes up at the dead of night drenched in cold sweat*

Penelope: Love? What's wrong?

Odysseus: That prophet son of a bitch- IT WAS ME!

Penelope: What??

Odysseus: I WAS THE MAN WHO WAS HAUNTING ALL ALONG!!

Penelope: *pulling him down and hugging him* ok dear just go back to sleep.

*meanwhile in the Underworld*

Tiresias: Fucking finally that dumbass

Odysseus: I am different, I am no longer the man you married, it's been 20 long years but if you could just fall in love with me again?
Penelope: if you can do something for me
Odysseus: anything
Penelope: move my wedding bed.
Odysseus: I can't, it's made out of a living tree, to move it I would have to destroy it. How can yo-
Penelope: oh, I thought we were asking each other stupid questions?
Odysseus:
Penelope: 'FaLl iN lOvE wItH mE aGaiN' to do that I would have had to stop loving you.