🍊

alternate metros jersey shane 🙂‍↕️

never understood where the "protective ilya" thing came from when its not present in canon. like ever.

like correct me if im wrong, but is there a single instance where ilya defends shane to anyone? he doesnt do it to the media after tripgate. he doesnt do it against crowell after he threatened shane (but did it for troy). he joins in happily when other people make fun of shanes eating habits or general anxiety, despite it being something shane is sensitive about.

in a fucking deleted scene, meant to be in 2018, this happens

(“If it had been NHL players in the Olympics this year, Russia would have destroyed Canada,” Lev continued. “Canada’s stars are a bunch of pussies, like Hollander.”

“Mm,” Ilya said.

“Fucking right,” Lev said, as if Ilya had contributed anything. “Hollander takes it up the ass for sure.” He laughed and helped himself to some gravlax.

“You think so?” Ilya asked mildly.

“For sure. Every night. His teammates probably line up.”

Ilya shook his head and took a sip of beer. Lev didn’t know shit.)

ilyas teammates are openly mocking shane, being blatantly homophobic with some racial undertones to boot, and ilya. just sits there. practically agrees with them. and rachel only took this out because she had "no idea where what scene was going to end up" though it was "tough to let this scene go because I loved the idea of them texting each other while hanging out with their respective friends/teammates/countrymen"

yeah its so cute to have them text each other to the background of ilyas teammates bigotry, that is going on IN HIS FUCKING HOUSE

its insane that shane gets the rep of being the bad bf when he defends ilya to hayden, jj, his parents, crowell, etc. compared to ilya who says cute things to shane in private and does nothing to back it up

anyways #myilya would never do this bullshit, but it really shows you how much rr's distain for shane ended up coming through in her characters. she loves ilya so much that she cant understand how ilya could ever show love or respect to shane, because she cant bear to show love or respect to shane

when u like a character for their potential to be interesting and complex more than how they’re actually written

re-reading the long game, which i didn't do to write my therapy meta, i just read the therapy scenes, and it's like a smack to the face realizing how much ilya's shitty fucking therapist telling him that shane has things unfairly good and doesn't appreciate how much ilya is suffering is the turning point. before that ilya is depressed and lonely and longing for shane, and then it's like his therapist hands him this explanation for all of his pain where it's shane's fault, and from that point on he's seething with resentment and anger. the sadness is replaced with rage. he's angry at shane when shane is the victim of homophobic harassment by the league. he pins shane into a wall when they fight.

like. inadvertently a terrific description of the dangers of therapeutic harm. ilya is carelessly fed this narrative where he is being victimized and that creates even more distance between himself and his loving partner, who, on top of their difficult circumstances, he is already pushing away because of his depression. ilya ends up feeling even more isolated and also nearly commits an act of domestic violence. in context it's really striking. and really sad.

oh man i have soooo so many thoughts about how shane’s autism and anxiety and (definitely canon) ocd manifest post-outing. like yeah all the tools he used to emotionally regulate and his safe space and his sense of security have been forcibly expunged from his life and now he’s in a literal spiral trying to white knuckle it and stay together and act happy about everything. oh man he goes completely nonverbal and doesn’t understand why he can’t speak and what’s blocking his throat so he’s reaching into his mouth trying to pull out the fucking cake or whatever the hell is stuck just past his tonsils but its not working and nothing is getting past his tongue and he is just. silent and struggling and fuck it’s happening here too in his own fucking house while he’s bent over the sink with his fingers in his mouth trying to get something to work

thinking about how ilya — specifically the ilya present at the end of tlg — might respond to any physical symptoms of shane’s anxiety or compulsive behaviours and. hmmmmmm

It's always fun when an author claims their work contains no politics, because either they're blatantly lying, or they genuinely think they're telling the truth and you get a lot of insight into what assertions about human nature they regard as so obviously and self-evidently true as to lie outside the political sphere.

wrt any discussion about shane as the 2C in ottawa — yes, there are many exceptional centres that play on the second line. leon draisaitl and evgeni malkin are two examples. yes, that allows versatility for the coach when playing lines. yes, playing on the second line is not reflective of draisaitl and malkin’s talents on the ice. however. draisaitl and malkin were drafted by the oilers and the penguins respectively. they both have an a. they are considered among the greatest players of all time for their teams. the difference between draisaitl + malkin vs shane is humiliation. they are not comparable to shane because shane is not playing 2C because his team happened to draft generational players connor mcdavid and sidney crosby. he is the 2C because he was outed and then publicly humiliated, and then ostracised and abandoned by his championship franchise. he is a gay japanese-canadian man whose accomplishments and successes are now being questioned. he has lost credibility and his professional reputation. he needs more support. he needs to prove himself. like. a more apt comparison would probably be linus ullmark— the starting goalie in actual ottawa who was publicly humiliated by his own captain on a podcast, took time out of the season for mental health reasons, and then completely outplayed the rest of his team in the playoffs. imagine ullmark endures that brady tkachuk induced nightmare and is then essentially kicked out to play backup for a goalie tandem in fucking. columbus ohio

it also can’t be ignored that out of all the openly queer hockey players in the gcu, the only one getting paid less than what they’re worth is the one (1) queer person of colour. like. this is simply not the same situation

always a little funny to see white people on here run up against the realities of racism in real time, and only acknowledge them because they get in the way of the posts they want to make about characters. yes there are implications to that character saying that. and implications to that dynamic. that kink could be okay but it deserves a lot more actual consideration than you are giving it. you personally don't mean this in a racist way but you are a small minority. please familiarize yourself with the millions of people who do mean it in exactly the way you think couldn't be possible. yes, those people exist. it's so annoying how that pesky racism works and gets in the way of us headcanoning to our heart's content, isn't it? imagine if you had to actually deal with all of this in your real life. outside of shipping or fictional characters or any of it. too bad this only affects the posts you get to make on tumblr dot com

It boggles my mind that people really don’t seem to understand the difference between sacrifice, loss and exchange. For all three, you “lose” something. The keys are the expectation of what you are going to get out of it and voluntariness.

I won’t deny that being close to Shane had no bearing in Ilya moving to Ottawa. However, in HR, the primary driver was Ilya wanting to leave America because he felt like it wasn’t the optimal place for him as a Russian. Shane invited him to the cottage fully expecting Ilya to stay with Boston. Ilya wanted to exchange Boston for Canadian citizenship. Every other decision thereafter was based on this. If Ilya wasn’t worried about the whole Russian thing and moved to Ottawa solely to benefit Shane, that would be a sacrifice. If Ilya just got kicked out of Boston for being with Shane, that would be a loss. In the sacrifice scenario, if Shane goes like “well I don’t give a fuck”, or in the loss scenarios, Shane goes like “who cares, now we can spend more time together”, then yes, he’d be selfish.

When Shane proposed Ottawa, he gave serious consideration to Ilya’s careers and goals. It was a good move with a rocky start. That’s why it took him all night to come up with the plan. He talked about Ottawa needing a star center and having cap space. This way, from a professional standpoint, Ilya could slot into the same position he had in Boston, enjoy the same star status and avoid a pay cut. Ottawa also wasn’t portrayed as a losing team at all in HR. Yuna asked “you would leave Boston for Shane?” Her surprise was Ilya willing to leave the team that drafted him, not that he was moving to a shit team for Shane. How terrible the team was didn’t jump out at her over her opinions on loyalty to your team. Even in TLG, the team was described as having the right components and the results just weren’t happening. Was Ottawa a good team at the time? Probably not, because they at least needed a good center, but that comes across as just needing a key player to complete a project. In TLG, Ilya was mourning no longer winning cups, breaking records and winning awards. It would be difficult for him to find a team that would guarantee this for him within 1-2 years. Presumably, a team like this would be nearly on par with Boston or Montreal and may already have a star center who’s at least on Scott Hunter’s level. Then cap space and guaranteed first line center spot become issues, or Ilya would have to somehow knock that established center out of the team. Even then, team chemistry (Ottawa’s issue) isn’t a guarantee.

Ilya’s professional struggles in Ottawa were unexpectedly prolonged. Nobody knew depression would end up hurting him this much. (I want to emphasize this is not Ilya’s fault. This is another thing his illness stole from him). Presumably, a player of Ilya’s caliber would be able to turn things around for Ottawa if he was healthy. Boston was even worse than Ottawa at the beginning of the series (not making playoffs for years, highly frustrated fans and getting the number 1 draft pick). Rookie Ilya was able to turn things around for them within a few seasons. We can talk about how good the rest of the team is, but within the series, they’re highly reliant on Ilya’s form (win a cup when Ilya is on form and immediately out of the playoffs when Ilya gets hurt). Also, in TLG, the Centaurs did get better when Ilya’s health improved.

Funny side note, my “hometown team” actually is shit. It’s funny to imagine that hockey fans in Canada of all places would just stop watching their team if they suck. They’d rant, complain and call for blood, but they’d still keep buying season tickets at prices that keep increasing and cheer them on at the arena. I know this from my hometown team, which clinched the spot as the dead last in the whole league with 7 games still to go and no hope in sight.