away from here

I AM SO SORRY I KEEP MISSING USER'S REQUESTS TO JOIN. I HAVE BEEN OUT OF COMMISSION OF LATE.

I look around my house.
I just want to crawl into my bed and under my covers.
Everywhere I look, there are 'just things'.
They are just things. They aren't the essence of
someone I love or have loved. They do not
hold a part of someone's soul... nor can they bring
them back. I can not escape loss. But, I can escape denial.
or atleast try...

Escaping is so much harder than people make it out to be. We all say 'I'll start a new life', and we all feel poetic and in charge of what happens next, but no one succeeds. No one can escape. Our old life will never leave, and as much as we run from it, or push it into the corners of our minds, it will always come back. We can never escape from our mistakes and who we were, or who we still are. Imperfections last us forever.

I'm Caitlin. And I'm tired of starting over.

i want terribly to escape from everything going on here in this world i'm forced to live in. i would love to find out what it's like to drown, to die of electrocution. i know it sounds awkward and odd, but it would be so much more lovely to die of that than a common, broken heart. i no longer wish to be around with this broken heart of mine, and knowing that he never cared nor loved me as he'd said. and he was the one who planned our wedding. he was the one who planned our children. i love him with all of my heart, but he's sent it away to albuquerque and now i cannot fight for myself. i need to leave. permanently? i don't know. but i'm escaping now.

I escape from my daily obligations to read and re-read old entries in this community.
I'm in love.

The term "escape artist", why do I keep seeing it, why does everyone use it so freely, what does it mean? Even the term "escapist" -- surely almost everyone is somewhat of an "escapist", in some sense.

Anyway, introductions, hello, hello... My name is Calyne. I've always needed solitude, and I hate that that can and does get misinterpreted as a coldness or insulting avoidance to my friend(s?). Lately, due to the fact that I'm still in a pathetic state of... patheticism... which I will not go into... which is only a trick, chemical, a joke... They've made pills for it, why can't they make pills against it...

I don't have a passion or anything, so I find it difficult to get away. I love anonymous crowds and an ever-changing scene of strangers. I used to have very severe social anxiety, but now I'm just socially dumb.

I fantasize about leaving. I have to get the hell out of here. I'm running out of time. I really need to get the fuck away. I just want to leave. The boredom is unbearable.

In the meantime, I've also been undergoing a major change, one that I've been striving towards for a while now... The result is an increased apathy, loss of integrity, and lost faith in God (I wasn't religious, more pantheistic, I guess), to name a few.

I've never known what to do, but I always stuck to the safe side of the right or wrong; it's not like I could tell, I'm no God. Now I'm comparitively insensitive and bad. I rely on anything I can to escape until I run away to the city, for no reason other than that I'm bored.

Anyone know of any drugs I could get easily? OTC medication I could get from like, Rite Aid? Thanks.

Greetings, fellow escape artists,

I was wondering if anyone would be interested in joining my community for people who are teaching English in another country, or who want to. It's called teachabroad. Feel free to check it out! I just started it last week.

(x-posted)

I could use a serious form of escape from a few things right now. But really, I would like to get out of this nausea.

I was given morphine in the hospital. Morphine is evil. You would think I would like it, since so many are looking for an escape through drugs. Made me feel like crap.

Mum made me chicken leek soup. I don't feel like getting lost in food.

WHERE THE HELL DID EVERYONE ESCAPE TO?!

i joined this community because i recently got screwed over real bad by some people i thought were my friends. and it's happened before. i've basically come to the conclusion that people are inherently bastardly and are out for nothing but their own. anyways. i read. i watch movies. i talk to strange reclusive people and i've started a livejournal. i'm not sure if this is healthy, but um i guess i'm just wondering if there are similar experiences out there?

I am selling a First Class Eurail Flexipass on Ebay.

( Eurail Flexipass descriptionCollapse )

It's pretty cool and I would love to use it, but I don't have the money or time to travel this year. If you're interested, here is a link to the auction:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.d…