Suzy

Summer Reading started Wednesday, and summer weather has finally arrived. We keep going between the 70s and 90s, which is not cool. I'd much prefer 70s and 80s.

Tomorrow, R is driving up, and we're going to drive up north to watch the All American Girls Professional Baseball Living History League play. I'm super excited, and definitely plan to talk to them about joining. And yet it will be in the 90s, possibly heat index of near 100, and I am SO GLAD I am not playing. I'm just watching, and planning to bring my inhaler just in case. My lungs don't like extreme heat any more than they do cold.

Being me, I'm trying to decide how to dress. Retro is a given. I'd planned on my favorite navy sleeveless shirtdress, but the fabric and color might be uncomfortable in the heat. White and light grey striped shirt dress? It's longer, but more cottony and cap sleeved. Or black vintage style shorts with a short sleeved button up? So many options.

Then we're driving back to watch the Tonys. Looking forward to the performances.

I have a list of things to do today, but I feel myself trimming it down every time I look at it, ha. Like I said, SRP started this week. I actually love the opening weeks of it--I get so energized and excited with the crush of people (and believe me, there has been a crush of people). I was so bouncy and happy on desk yesterday, all three hours of nonstop talking and explaining and cheering. But even though I am highly motivated and energized at work, I get home and just sit on the couch and watch bits of the Torchwood marathon that aired last week. (So interesting to rewatch the first two seasons ten years later!) So I've been trying to recharge at night, but I need this to be a major recharging day, especially since tomorrow is out to a new place and being social. Next week will be just as busy as this one!

I do think my meds are working. Wednesday was the first day I woke up not exhausted, which was a nice experience. I feel like my anxiety is there, but it's more manageable? It doesn't feel as overwhelming as it used to. I still feel it, but I can handle it, I think. It's taking getting used to. I mean, you'd think that not having overwhelming anxiety would just feel good and you'd move on and all is well, and it sort of is, but it just feels different. My brain feels different. I am learning new reactions, I guess. But I like it.

Which is all good, because last weekend at my parents for my mother's birthday was a disaster. So bad, so stressful, ugh. I handled it, and I probably would have handled it without the meds, but I think there would have been a ton more anxiety. But I just tried my best to be calm and supportive in the face of her negativity and sadness and depression and we got through Saturday. Sunday wasn't any better, though, and was probably worse. She ended up mad/shut down with me after a discussion of the London attack led to discussions of what the media covered and what was really happening in the world, and that sucked. We haven't quite gotten over that, though we're both pretending that we have.

The one good thing to everything going to hell and her having me come up Saturday instead of Friday was that I got to see Wonder Woman on Friday afternoon and I loved it so much. It was so fun. I wish it had been more grounded in 1918 in terms of character dialogue and action at times, but it was charming and kickass and Gal Gadot was wonderful. I definitely can't wait to see it again.

I'm debating signing up for Rare Pairs or Exchange at Fic Corner--will probably depend on the tag sets. Rare Pairs could get me a Ghostbusters story (though obviously not Erin/Holtz, but I do have prompts for other pairings that I'd love to see), so that's a bonus. Some of my requests would overlap (Anne, American Girls, etc), which makes it a little harder to pick. So, tag set.

I've also been doing some okc emailing. I did chat with a few of the ladies from c2e2's speed dating for awhile (when one of them called me cute, I did a total Rudolph reaction, it was hilarious), but I realized they were all early-mid twenties. The even was 21+, so I knew they were adults, and none of them seemed super young, and at least one was in grad school, but I still felt weird chatting with 20-somethings. And I'm sure none of them realized how old I am, even though I talked about my job, since I look nothing like my age. I didn't guess there was a 10-12 year age gap, either!

So, okc. It's funny, because I am so used to getting well written personalized emails from guys there, and most of the ladies are just, "Hi!" I know I have not had a typical online dating experience ever. But right now, I am chatting with three super fun lady nerds--one loves Farscape, Who, Stargates, etc (and is a teen librarian), one likes old movies and Remember WENN, one is a Doctor Who fic writer. They are all fun. The latter suggested we swap fic handles and where I would have panicked, I merely went paranoid. Baby steps! Friends assured me that since I diversify my online handles and most people would just want to read fic and not do in depth research on what they could learn about me, I was probably safe. I still locked the few fics on LJ/DW comms and deleted a few, though, ha. Funny how it seems way more personal to share my online life with someone rather than meet them in person!

I still owe two of them responses, including the link to my fic. (I am totally cool having someone read my fic, it was more my bookmarks and whatever else she could find with online searches. But I think there is not much to find, FINGERS CROSSED.) That is on my to-do list for today, and is not one of the ones that will go away. I hope.

All right. I've done yoga, tidied, and blogged. Time to figure out the next thing. It feels like it's going to be reading (discovered the Parasole Protectorate by Gail Carriger after falling hard for Genevieve LeFoux in her short story, Romancing the Inventor), even though it ought to be something more productive. Oh, well. More things will happen eventually.