Suzy

Well, I am still texting with S. It's not as much fun. I like him in person, and I like his dorky rambling voicemails, but I don't like his texts. There are too many, and they aren't interesting. I mean, if we were actually having written conversations, that'd be one thing. But it's just random check ins. He contacts me more than my mother contacts me and God love her, you know we have co-dependency issues!

Also, and this really sort of bugs, I am not his little anything. I am not his anything, really. We've met twice! Dude. I think that's my biggest pet peeve, they are presuming an intimacy that is out of proportion to where we actually are. Maybe that's the way things normally go. Maybe you build a relationship by pretending you have one. Whatever. It's not the way I go. So I am freely ignoring them when I don't want to respond and engaging when I do.

The interesting part is that I'm not using this as a reason to totally ditch him. I can recognize that we have vastly different communication styles and also remember that I like him in person and deal with it accordingly. (I also was able to separate out general negativity due to exhaustion rather than think it was my actual feelings about him.) If this continues past date three (and I am not fussed either way - this is mostly fun and I like him, but I'm not invested), I'll probably have to actually tell him some of this and not be passive aggressive. Right now, I don't think I owe him that yet. Right?

(Of course, if I'd ever pick up his phone calls, that'd probably help too. But I am in a very anti-phone space right now, too anxiety triggering. I've even had a work voicemail for a week I haven't been able to conquer just yet.)

Also! So we're going to see Next to Normal this weekend. I warned him to google it before he considered it. Friday he mentioned he was looking forward to "passionate handholding in the dark." Fine, sure, yeah, that'll be great. But I checked in, he did google, right? Nope. He wants to be 100% surprised, and is sure a classy girl like me wouldn't pick a bad show. Oy. Great. I'm going to assume that if he had any triggers, he'd have responsibly checked once I'd mentioned dark themes, black humor and not the type of subject people expected in musicals. Passionate handholding while watching mental illness, electroshock therapy, drug addiction and grief? Well, we'll see.

I am a little nervous about the show. Driving makes me nervous, both because driving always makes me nervous and the being alone with him. I am also a little nervous about if dinner has to be a part of this, given that it's a 6pm show on a Sunday. Before is early, after is late for me when you consider the time for food and the drive back. I so wish he'd been able to do the 2pm show. That'd have solved most of this - everything is easier in the daytime.


Meanwhile, I had two awesome communication free days. I worked on challenges and I cleaned my apartment like I've wanted and I watched a ton of movies. I started Laurie Halse Anderson's Write 15 Minutes a Day in September to see if I have the stamina for trying Nano this year. It was exactly the relaxing Labor Day weekend I needed to face work and S again this week.

I've had an nsync tab open for a week now that I wanted to share in my next post and of course I can't remember what/where it is to post it mobiley. I'll edit this tonight or just make an nsync only post. They're worth it.

OH! OH OH OH OH! I can't believe I almost forgot!! I bought my pinup photo digitals and uploaded them to my blog: http://missladylibrarian.wordpress.com/2013/09/02/pin-up-fun/ I also redesigned the blog. I love them! I can't wait to go back in October with Liss. We're doing a Double Trouble friend shoot - she wants to pose with the WW2 bomb and do Halloween, I'm hoping to sneak in a Christmas shot, plus maybe something Bye Bye Birdie or gossip related. I will for sure share anything we get from there, too.