soontobegone

yeah. so i really don't think anyone goes on this shit anymore...but incase ya do...here's my day.
wake up.
go to school.
get called to office.
get told i have to withdrawl from school.
i ask why.
get told i have too many absenses.
i go to guidance.
they enroll me in adult ed at trident tech.
i find out i'll have my actual high school diploma around july instead of may.
[thats fine]
eat lunch with REALLY hott guy.
come to library.
update my eljay that i almost forgot existed.
so comment if you read this and i'll know if it was worth my while. lmfao.
♥

sorry kids...this lj is dead. :(

check out my new one though!!!   

_so_unsure

(www.livejournal.com/~_so_unsure)

i cry myself to sleep
almost every night,
its not because im scared
or overheard another fight.
i want you to notice
that there's something wrong with me,
that im truely not as happy
as i pretend to be.
i want someone's attention
i want somebody's love,
God where is my angel
sent from up above?
she's sitting in her room
draining her own pain,
she doesn't need my problems
added to her brain.
im screaming inside
but nobody's listening,
so now on my cheeks
its tears that are glistening.
don't you understand
that im not just "trying",
this is how i really feel
this is why im dying.
im so fucking alone
always by myself,
much like a kids old toy
that just sits up on the shelf.
all i do is sit here
with noone by myself,
but i guess if noone's around
then i dont have to hide.
-me

Surrounded by people, yet alone
yes that's right, it happens
when you are smiling, talking and laughing
but from inside your heart is broken
and no one can see those tears.
Sometimes, life comes to a stand
you think everything is fine but its not
you think your life is in order
but its not
you go about doing your business as usual
and pretend that nothing is wrong
but deep down there is an empty feeling
which bothers you
you ask yourself; what's wrong?
everything seems to be fine
and you are miserable
you don't know what to do
that emptiness surrounds your heart
and you are with people yet alone.


i never told anyone...so how could someone write it???

as i said before...this goes out to one certain person.
and hopefully you can figure out who you are...please comment.


You always say
You're my friend.
But what about your side
What about your end?

Am I your friend
Or should I go away?
If I don't matter
Then I don't need to stay.

I want to matter
And know that you care.
I want that security
That you'll always be there.

You have a girlfriend
And friends galore
But am I really your friend
Or a piece of something on the floor?

You may think I'm whiny
Or being just dumb
But why can't you say those words
Please tell me how come.

I just want your friendship
Is that too much to want?
If so please tell me
And me you don't have to see and you won't.

i think i might start posting mainly songs and poems that are relevant to my mood...so here's one i just found.

I feel lonely
Isolated,
Non existent,
Broken,
Deformed,
Hideous,
Why do I feel this way?
All these emotions haunting my dreams,
Question marks of confusion,
Broken mirrors of sin,
Darkness surrounds me forever,
I just want to be held,
Loved,
Beautiful,
And whole,
I want to be understood.
All hope is lost.

I came to you the hour I was in pain
Looking for answers, I cried to you in vain.

I shared the many skeletons hiding in my heart,
I knew then you'd be my friend,
I knew it from the start.

Troubles ran like rivers, flowing through my life,
You picked the pieces up and help me through my strife.

When home wasn't home to me no more,
You opened up your heart, and opened up the door.

We cried into night until the early morn.
We solaced each other's pain and shared our many thorns.

As time flew, the air grew thick,
I saw our friendship fading, and my heart grew sick.

The day had arrived,
When it was time to say goodbye.

Now I sit alone,
reminiscing the past I'd blown.


this goes out to a speical person...you know who you are...i miss you :/

wow, im bored...not really, but ya know.
well im at ambers house, so they wanna get on the computer, but if you love me let me know...its nice to have some reasurance sometimes :/
peace out homies!

should i stop updating? please let me know...cause if noone comments on this...then what is the point? seriously, let me know if i should quit.

don't cry because it's over...
smile because it happened.

















if only it was that easy :/