The problem with Facebook (at least the main one I have) is that it brings together a huge group of people who are: your co-workers, your family, your current and former love interests, your old friends, your new friends, your activity partners, some unusual acquaintances, people who went to school with you and recognize your name but not much else, etc. It also allows you to indicate which causes you support, etc. In my case, this mixture isn't exactly pleasant -- i.e. there are a lot of people who know me in one sense, who I don't really want to know me in another sense. And I get added as a friend by people I barely remember.
There doesn't seem to be a way to filter what people see about you, like the lj friends filters (not that I really use those on here). And as my lj-friend, unless you actually have met me in person or sent me something in the mail (which many of you haven't) you don't know my entire name or address, and that name isn't associated with these thoughts. Which is the way I like things.
That said, if anyone has Facebook and wants to add me there, you're more than welcome. Just don't expect lots of updates of a personal nature.
Mixed bag of feelings today. And a ton of uncompleted work for tomorrow. The predominant one is sadness with just a little smidgen of hope breaking through.
Was finally forced to put a stop to something that wasn't working, no matter how good it was in other respects. I'm a good person and a good friend. If people can't see that and return it, then they need to go.
Others I know are going through hard times as well right now. I'm not sure what to say or do to help. All I can do is listen and try to offer advice. Not that my life is in so much order that I should try to give advice, but it's what you do.
I don't know why I feel such a loss at the moment. There was nothing to lose, I guess.
The way things have been lately, it makes me scared to dream. But I might dream a little dream, of a back porch and a star-filled sky.
Hmm...it's almost 2 am and what do I have to report? I'm drawing a blank. Doesn't it just figure that now that I have time to write in here, all the good ideas I had this afternoon have flown out the window? On the way into work this afternoon I decided that I need to get off my own personal @#^&%@ and write about more important/interesting topics. I thought I'd start with music, but I'm not into waxing poetic about it right now.
In other news...I gave the final exam for one of my classes tonight. So all I have to do is grade that and another essay for Monday and that class is history! Well, it's still English, of course. (Oh, what a lousy joke that was...people should delete me from their friends' list just for that!) So now, just about one and a half weeks left for the other class and then my inner "teacher" will meet its maker. Unless I feel like whipping it out for my own personal gratification...hmm.
What else? I myself learned a few things recently. Today, I learned I should check my voicemail...yes, that's indeed what that little envelope meant. A few days ago, I learned that sugar, water, and lemon juice when boiled together in the right proportions for the right amount of time can produce a substance capable of inflicting great pain. I learned that I can take the pain. Let's all get sticky, sore, and hairless, why don't we? I also learned this past week that you can drive quite aways with the "check engine" light lit on your dashboard. I must have learned some other more important things lately and forgotten about them.
I'll share some more profundity here soon. Bet you can't wait.
It makes me feel good when people trust me enough to tell me stuff they don't ordinarily say. Not sure why; I guess I feel special then. It's nice to feel trustworthy, I suppose. Plus I am always superinterested in knowing people, so it works for me, too.
Of course, I am maybe too open. There's not much to say about me (I don't think). I don't feel like I need to hide stuff; if I say things and people don't like me anymore, then they didn't really like *me* to begin with, I figure.
This is pretty random. Class went well; people were excited and discussing literature on the very first night. I had them wrap up the discussion and ended the class by saying:
"'I should have been a pair of ragged claws / Scuttling across the floors of silent seas.' See you all Thursday."
That was fun.
Anyway, life is good for the moment. Let's see what crap decides to rain down on me now that I've dared to say that.
I'm done! Finally. Now I just have to enter these grades in my computer, on the school system, pick up my check and deposit it, straighten up my apartment, make myself presentable and then I am out of this hellhole!!!
For a little while at least.
Came down to my parents' for Mom's day, but wasn't a very good child as all I could do was complain about how bad these exams were. I don't know if that reflects more on me or more on the students. Maybe both.
I wanted to do more while I was here, but as always, work-related stuff took me longer than I had anticipated. Oh well...
On the upside, I ordered some books I wanted from Amazon today. One of these days I'll read something fun, well-written, and not mandatory.
Looking at the word count on my lj revealed that "I" was the most common word. That disturbs me...what to do? Trying to avoid the word seems unnatural, however.
What else? I love everyone. Probably because my work is done. I'm off to do what I feel like doing.
What a good day (actually talking about May 6-early 7th)! I talked to just about everyone who is cool. Yes, if I talked to you today, you are among the cool :) Ok, there may exist some cool people in the world whom I didn't talk to today. I can think of one in Buffalo. And one in Seattle. And a few in Groningen. Some people here aren't too terrible, either.
Life is good.
And, yes, I am once again procrastinating. A few more hours of work. But I like staying up late and being tired in the morning. What else would I do?
I found some old tapes today...really funny. Some "Saturday night dance party" I taped off the radio back in the late 80s/early 90s. All I can say is: "Rhythm is a Dancer." 'Nuff said.
Not much to report....unfortunately. Up late last night for no apparent reason. Maybe it was those pesky emotions that just wouldn't GO AWAY. Hrmm.
My horoscope for today says:
"Quickie: You need a rest. The world is too much with you. The important parts can wait.
Overview: You'll be very happy today, as long as you get past a bit of jealousy this morning. Once that episode has passed, you can relax and get to work enjoying the afternoon and evening -- in any way you see fit."
Here's hoping the mood will change, as it says. As far as "relaxing and getting to work", I think I will actually feel more relaxed once I am able to get to work.
Procrastination sucks...especially when your emotions make it difficult to concentrate and you know why.
tired
sad
content