
Sometimes, even doing the things you want to be doing can seem like a really frustrating pain in the ass.
I'm getting more into the idea of sustainability, and have been trying to take small steps in that direction. I made a trip out to a natural foods store this afternoon during my lunch break. I decided that there must be one in Harrisburg; they couldn't all be across the river. Indeed, when I looked further there was! And, not far from my therapist's office. So I decided to take the scenic route out there. I made it there in about 15 minutes, still, which wasn't bad considering I was going between 25-40 mph the whole way. At the store, I wanted to have more time to take in what was there and what wasn't, but I knew I didn't have time for that, so I had a sort of mentally dizzying journey up and down the aisles. The selection there was bigger than at the place I went to in New Cumberland but smaller than that in the Mechanicsburg store I've been to. Still, while they had some cool stuff, they didn't have exactly what I was looking for, so I bought a few things (including some organic pears) and left feeling frustrated.
I didn't want to get on the highway in my frustrated state, so I figured I'd go up the road, and take another local-ish route. I realized I was actually getting further from my house and thought I should have planned this all better, but as I'd already committed myself at that point, I kept going. I hit light after light and had to deal with more general frustration. As I bit into the pear I noticed it was from Argentina. Yeah, it's organic, but how sustainable is importing a pear from South America? Argh. Should have checked that in the store.
As the clock on the dash advanced inexorably toward the end of my lunch hour, I reached for my cell phone. I called my co-worker and told her I'd be 10-15 minutes late. She had taken off earlier in the day for a doctor's appointment on short notice, so I didn't think she could be that upset with me being flaky, too.
I thought about how much easier all this had been in the Netherlands. Even in a hicktown/small city there, I was able to bike everywhere I needed to go locally, get a variety of organic/vegetarian/vegan food in supermarkets and city markets, visit secondhand stores and even move the contents of my apartment on an open wooden box with a bike attached. Ok, my ex had to steer the thing, but still. If I needed to go anywhere non-local, there was always the bus and the train. If I had money, I could still have had things delivered.
Being a "good guy" here seems like way too much trouble sometimes. But at least I know the frustration is worth it, unlike the frustration at my job.