the mermaid cafe

You know you are having an odd day when reading random Katara/Zuko fic on ff.net seems like a good idea.

Note to self: Self, It is not a good idea. It is nearly never a good idea. no love, me.

Score one for my poor decision-making skills. And yet, I keep hoping to find what I'm looking for.

It's like reading Max/Alec - you hit one good story and you think there MUST be others, and then you read a metric fuckton of TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE fic searching for the hidden gems. And occasionally you find them, but the damage in the meantime is pretty horrific. *weeps* #it's a sickness #fangirl problems

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I did manage to write a wee Steve/Bucky blow job fic last night for the 10 in 10 September thing:

Writing My Life on Your Skin (@ AO3)
Avengers (2012); Steve/Bucky; adult; 730 words
Steve likes leaving marks on Bucky's skin.

As usual, it started with angelgazing saying something about Steve leaving grease-smears on Bucky's hips and me saying she should totally write that, and then two hours later, I had a story. I don't even know why I try to resist.

At least things are getting written, even if they're not the things I want to finish. Let's see, the WIP round-up looks like this right now:

= the Winter Soldier gets hit with sex pollen
= the one where Steve loves puppies and freedom and Russian assassins (not necessarily in that order)
= the DCU/MCU crossover where Jason helps Steve and Natasha rescue Bucky from the League of Assassins

those are the top priorities, the ones I have open in Word at any given moment. Then there's the various other Steve/Bucky ones, the Steve/Darcy fake dating, and the Steve/Natasha undercover married. Plus some other things from that trope meme I might want to flesh out. *hands* Who knows?

And I still have to figure out yuletide. I always wait to see if the stuff I want gets nommed so I can then nominate things I want to write. We'll see how it goes. Thank goodness for the folks who collate that information in easy to use spreadsheets.

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Since we're heading into seasonal ficathon season, is anyone interested in another round of Broken Toys/jamponygifts? If so, should it just be Max/Alec this time around? I was thinking maybe assignments out on Thanksgiving weekend, stories up on Jan 2. Non-anonymous, 1000 word minimum. Y/N? Let me know in comments.

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I realize probably no one knows the answer to this, but what is going on with delicious and have we found anything better to replace it, since it's constantly wonky? AO3's bookmark system is nice but it doesn't help me with all the other stuff that I bookmark.

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I went to bed last night at 10:30 since I was so tired, and of course at 2:30 I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep. Luckily, it was only for an hour, but still, way to ruin what should have been a good night's sleep. Ugh. Tomorrow and Friday I have to be at work by 8 am, so I will probably be turning in early for the rest of the week. Sleep shouldn't be so difficult.

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30 days of fanfic meme:

Day 1 / Day 2 / Day 3 / Day 4 / Day 5 / Day 6 / Day 7 / Day 8 / Day 9 / Day 10 / Day 11 / Day 12 / Day 13 / Day 14 / Day 15 / Day 16 / Day 17 / Day 18 / Day 19 / Day 20

Day 21 – Sequels – Have you ever written a sequel to a story you wrote, and if so, why, and if not, how do you feel about sequels?

Yes, I have. My feelings about sequels are that they are very tempting but rarely necessary. Which doesn't mean I don't write them, but a lot of the time, they're really self-indulgent. Which is fine. I mean, if a large part of the appeal of fanfic is to get more of something we love, then why wouldn't we want continuations of fanfic we loved? Same principle, right? But sometimes there's a virtue in knowing where to stop telling the story.

Day 22 – Have you ever participated in a fest or a Big Bang? If so, write about your favorite experience in relation to one. If not, are there any you've thought about doing? And if not, why not?

Heh. *looks at the first part of this post* I've never done a Big Bang, but I've done - and run - a variety of ficathons. Remix is obviously my favorite since it's my big ugly baby, despite how much misery it causes me when it's happening, but I've also enjoyed prompt-a-thons and other types of exchanges on occasion. I don't do many exchange ficathons that I don't run, because I'm a difficult participant. But I've been very pleased on occasion with the stories I've written for the various fests I've participated in.

Day 23 – When you post, where do you post to? Just your journal? Just an archive? Your own personal site?

I started out posting on mailing lists (and archives that were associated with said mailing lists), and then moved to LJ, and I used to post to all the relevant comms and complain if my stories weren't picked up by whatever newsletter etc., as well as to my own site, but these days I've sort of backed away from crossposting to comms for a variety of reasons, so I post to my LJ/DW and to AO3. I get a lot fewer comments that way, but I also don't have to deal with arcane posting rules in comms. I guess I'm okay with that trade-off atm, since I still don't even know where I'd post any of the DCU stuff I've written, and have really no desire to find out.

( the rest of the days )

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Let's talk X5-494*.

After the escape in '09, the clones of the escapees were sent to Psy-Ops to make sure they weren't also flight risks. Sam says 6 months in "She Ain't Heavy," doesn't she? (also, I know any weird things should just be attributed to bad writing on this show, but wouldn't she have recognized Alec? Also, wouldn't Zach have mistaken him for Ben in "Some Assembly Required?" I haven't rewatched season 1 except for "Pollo Loco," but hasn't Zach been in touch with Ben? Isn't he aware that Ben's gone off the rails?)

Two year prior to the events of season 2, 494 is sent out on his first deep cover mission, and he fails to complete his mission, and spends another 6 months in Psy-Ops being broken down and reindoctrinated. Fannish theories abound that this is where Alec's wheeler-dealer, care-for-nobody, happy-go-lucky sociopath personality is formed, that prior to Berrisford, he was a true blue soldier (which we see in that episode), and after his stint in Psy-Ops, he was able to give them what they wanted to hear, but was already working the system to his advantage (as we later see in the beginning of "Designate This," where he's trading vitamins for cash and bringing back cigars for the guards, also, presumably for cash, but possibly also for favors). (They talk about this in the commentary on the episode, that originally, Robert Berrisford was supposed to have been that kind of personality, and that 494 adapted it for himself, but then they didn't go that route with the Berrisford character.)

Then, towards the end of season 1 (I really should look up the dates, is this 2019?), Ben's killings escalate to the point that both Manticore and Eyes Only get wind of them, and he comes to Seattle (does he know Max is there? is he luring her out? Or is it just coincidence?), and Max kills him so he doesn't have to go back to Manticore. Manticore recovers the body, and are worried about the psychosis, so 494, his clone, gets hauled into Psy-Ops yet again. How long is he there this time? (and I really would have liked more in "Fuhgeddaboutit" about him and Mia and more acknowledgment of how Mia was really creepy.)

Max has been missing for three months when she returns to Jam Pony in "Bag 'Em;" how much time passes between "Pollo Loco" and "And Jesus Brought a Casserole?" Because Alec has clearly had time to be back in the swing of things, per his trading with the guards etc. But it seems unlikely to me that he'd be sent on other deep cover missions in that timeframe - they're time-consuming and even with all the mental prodding and poking, Renfro et al. still had to be concerned that he would crack or go rogue, given what happened on the Berrisford mission.

Also, it seems likely that Renfro chose him as Max's breeding partner because he's Ben's clone and she knew Max would react to that (and possibly be slightly warmer towards him because of it), rather than (or possibly in addition to) any genetic compatibility (though given that they were breeding for soldiers, it makes sense that they'd want genetic compatibility; of course, you can't think too hard about the breeding program because it makes absolutely no sense *hands*). It also seems likely that she chose him because she knew he would be resentful of the punishment he received because of Ben, and thus, he would be less likely to be swayed by any arguments Max could make. I'm also going on the theory that he was told not to force the breeding partner issue to get her to trust him (I'm also, for the sake of my own peace of mind, going with the idea that he wouldn't have forced her anyway), but he had to lie in public because otherwise the game would be up. (as an aside, I am always amused that it's Grace Park whose partner couldn't achieve mission parameters - spotting all the BSG actors as babyfaces on Dark Angel amuses me tremendously.)

I mean, okay, I'm totally gonna cop to the fact that I love the idea that it's Alec's proximity that makes the runes appear, that he's tangled up in Max's stupid destiny thing, but it makes no sense because there's no way for anyone to know when doing the genetic programming that he's going to be alive and available and in the vicinity.

I think part of my problem is that they're so young. Max is, what? 19? 20? so Alec is maybe a year older, if that? So he's 18 or 19 when Berrisford happens? And then he loses 6+ months to Psy-Ops in the two years between that and the narrative present of that episode. yet he also had time to be in Kazakhstan with Biggs, most likely with his post-Berrisford new personality (see: Lola) and do whatever other things required of him by Manticore in those 15-18 months.

This post is brought to you by the story I want to write, if I can just make the timelines work out in my head. *snerk*

*and yes, I did that on purpose, because it's his life pre-naming that I'm interested in atm.

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today's poem:

Theory of Lost Things

Because loneliness and beauty are inseparable, one is often
mistaken for the other. As when it becomes difficult to eat

because the tears won't stop coming though you're hungry
and the food, undoubtedly, delicious: the peas, tomatoes,

pink slice of lamb and small round dollop of white beans.
Beauty and loneliness are there in the girl you remember

seated on a bench beside the river waiting for the boy
who will kiss you as he pushes his ice-cream into your face.

They are the chainsaws scattered like orange poker chips
while the work crew takes their break beneath the last cedar,

huddled and begging its shade. Think of your recurring dream
where the bodies of the newly dead turn to diamonds

spread across the ground like tiny failed planets fallen
from the sky and then try to tell me what I say isn't true.

~Keetje Kuipers

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I'm going to consider Broken Toys a success. Twelve people (including me) signed up. One dropped out a couple weeks ago, so a pinch hitter covered. Ten stories have been posted, and everyone who posted a story has a story, so I'm considering it a win.

I think the best part, aside from some awesome new Max/Alec stories being written, is that Original Cindy gets some love. OC is an amazing character who totally gets short-shrift in fic. I don't have any real resolutions for this year, but I think I need to write some OC-centric fic. I think that needs to go on my list. There are also two cool crossovers, if you like that sort of thing.

Read, love, comment.

♥

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Meh. Sunday night. I don't wanna go back to work tomorrow!

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Since 14 people said they'd participate, sign-ups for Broken Toys: a Dark Angel ficathon are open.

Please read the post and comment there if you want to participate, or if you have questions.

(If anyone wants to make a pretty layout for the comm, that'd be awesome. I chose the Seattle layout for obvious reasons.)

To get in the mood, I've been rewatching the show all day, and I made a bunch of icons, as well. Given my shipping and character preferences, they are mostly Max/Alec and Alec, though there are some Max/Cindy and other stuff in there too.

A sample:
. .

( click for the icons )

As always, comments are nice, credit's not necessary.

Now, maybe I will attempt to write something.

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Today's poem:

Shopping Urban

Flip-flopped, noosed in puka beads, my daughter
breezes through the store from headband to toe ring,
shooing me away from the bongs,
lace thongs, and studded dog collars.
And I don't want to see her in that black muscle tee
with SLUT stamped in gold glitter
shrink-wrapped over her breasts,
or those brown and chartreuse retro-plaid
hip-huggers ripped at the crotch.

There's not a shopper here a day over twenty
except me and another mother
parked in chairs at the dressing room entrance
beyond which we are forbidden to go.
We're human clothes racks.
Our daughters have trained us
to tamp down the least flicker of enthusiasm
for the nice dress with room to grow into,
an item they regard with sullen, nauseated,
eyeball-rolling disdain.

Waiting in the line for a dressing room,
my daughter checks her cleavage.
Her bellybutton's a Cyclops eye
peeking at other girls' armloads of clothes.
What if she's missed something—
that faux leopard hoodie? those coffee-wash flares?
Sinking under her stash of blouses,
she's a Shiva of tangled sleeves.

And where did she dig up that new tie-dyed
tank top I threw away in '69,
and the purple wash 'n' wear psychedelic dress
I washed and wore
and lost on my Grand Tour of Europe,
and my retired hippie Peace necklace
now recycled, revived, re-hip?

I thought they were gone—
like the tutus and tiaras and wands
when she morphed from ballerina
to fairy princess to mermaid to tomboy,
refusing to wear dresses ever again.
Gone, those pastel party dresses,
the sleeves, puffed water wings buoying her up
as she swam into waters over her head.

~Jane Shore

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ranalore asked me recently if I had a Max/Alec playlist, and I said I really didn't - I have a couple of songs that remind me of them, but for some reason, they've never really pinged me musically the way most of my pairings have/do. But in writing that bright, tight forever drum, I did find myself listening to a couple of songs more than usual.

So I do have sort of a mini-mix for them, I guess, and it goes like this:

( a max/alec mini-mix )

any songs you can recommend I should add to this list?

And speaking of recommendations, and jumping fandoms, I am very, very scared of how Morgan/Reid seems to be the dominant pairing in Criminal Minds. I've watched about 12 episodes now, and I still have absolutely no desire to read about Reid having sex with anyone.

What I would like are gen team stories, good Morgan/Garcia UST/flirty banter stories, and crossovers! Specifically, I would like to see what the BAU makes of the Winchesters or the Scooby Gang (or, if you could finagle it, the BAU in the Firefly-verse) (again, gen, please). What have you got for me?

I suppose I should get an icon, too. Morgan, Garcia, or Morgan and Garcia, I think. Though when I finally get to her episodes, I might need an Emily Prentiss icon.

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I am still grooving on the awesome that was the Chuck season finale, and here are some links from the tv blogs I read:

* The most enjoyable episode of TV of the year? Thoughts on the 'Chuck' finale by Mo Ryan (btw, I agree with her - I would LOVE to see John Casey and Sam Axe knocking back beers together. hint hint.)

* Chuck: "Chuck vs. the Ring": Greatest American hero? by Alan Sepinwall (plus, an interview with Chris Fedak about the finale)

* 'Chuck' finale thoughts and renewal hopes by Daniel Fienberg

Seriously, for me, Chuck is like an unequivocally happy place for me - I love all the characters (even when they are creeping me out *eyes Jeff warily*), it makes me laugh, it makes me sniffle occasionally, I love the references, the music is awesome, and Adam Baldwin is SUPERAWESOME as Casey.

For a show that I am not actively fannish about - I have no real desire to read or write Chuck fic - I will be exceptionally sad if NBC doesn't renew it.

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PS: Dude! The preview function finally works at DW. Oh, happy day!

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