dragonfly
  • barswa

(no subject)

I confess it.

I'm really really terrified about the Peace Corps. I don't know what I'm doing, or where I'm going, I just have this feeling that its the right thing to do. That its something I need to do to break me from this technology dependence, from this attitude of letting things come to me, and sit there, and sit there, until I have to do something about it.

I don't know if I can do it, if I'll survive, hell I don't even know if I'm going yet. Just that I'll do what I can to do it despite my fears and such.

It's been such a long process now, that its hard to believe I could actually be leaving the country in a few months for two years. What's going to happen to my friendships? My family? Who will I be coming back from it? Who will everyone else be? Where will our country be?

God, will I have to eat bugs?

What have I gotten myself into?

sadness

I dropped my earring down the toilet today when I was about to flush.....there was serious consideration whether or not to fish it out, but seeing as I had nothing to get it out with and didn't feel like dipping my hand in pee on a Tuesday morning, I said goodbye to my $7 target earring. But still....I miss it and part of me kind of wishes I'd taken the plunge, closed my eyes and valiantly retrieved my earring. Of course then it would have just been saturated with urine, and I don't know how long you'd have to sanitize sometihg like that, but it's probably worth the $7 to just get a new pair. Besides that gives me an excuse to go to target and spend a bunch of money on crap I don't need. Goodbye Earring Goodbye!!! And I know it's not monday, but I think contemplating sticking your hand in a used toilet (even if by yourself) on a Tuesday morning is worthy of a monday confessional.

too many babies

I'm considering yet again the possibility of grad school. Of course this time my intentions are not quite so noble, perhaps my thoughts are enveloped in a hazy fog of too many vodka tonics, but ultimately I have no desire to be an adult or participate in any adult endeavors. Maybe I hang out with too many degenerate law students, I don't know, but the idea of having a spring break again, returning to Mardi Gras, sleeping past 7 am and more time for reading and writing truly excites me. So....I'm still planning a move to NYC for a year, if things go well i'll abandon my GRE books and apps, but if I'm still itching to regain the craziness of my undergrad years I will send in the applications and hope for the best. I've always wanted to go to Miami because it has an awesome cmst dept, but in reality my grades sucked even if they were from Vanderbilt. I probably would do shitty on the GRE as well since I have done nothing but binge drink over the past two years. I read and write a lot, but math, forget it. So I'm looking up crappy schools in cities that seem fun to live in with a lot of media jobs. Any suggestions? I'm thinking Florida or DC, and New Orleans which I loved but probably all the schools are dead. I also need advise on the GRE--books/classes??? I don't know what I need to be doing at this point, I've got about a year till apps are due. And if I fail, I can try again the next year, I'm never going to be an adult, I swear!!!
dragonfly
  • barswa

(no subject)

I confess a few things.

First, I don't care that its not quite Monday.

Second, It really fucking hurts to have one of your best friends not even say good bye, let alone explain why you need to, leave the house.

As in move out of a shared house.

As in, no explanation.

As in why ask why, It'll be a lie.

As in what the hell do I do?
bukowski

(no subject)

everytime kindergarten cop is on tv, i have to watch it. it's a horrendous movie and i can't explain this uncontrollable need to watch that dumb dominic get kidnapped over and over again.