*Intuitive*Random*

It isn't Howdy Doody time, that's for sure. It is time for the every so often update! So, maybe I should start with good news first.
Dance class-
One of my biggest passions has always been dance. Last year Brandy let me know that my old studio was offering adult dance classes. I was able to perform on the stage of the Clemens Center again, and this year I signed up again. Our group is bigger, and I really have fun being the "Head of the Others" once again. However, my lyrical shoes that I've had since high school finally blew out, so I needed to buy new dance shoes. Who knew two pair of Capezios would make me so happy? I am now the proud owner of a pair of leather E series jazz shoes and a pair of Pirouette half sole canvas ballet slippers. Our song this year is by Roisin Murphy and it is called Sinking Feeling. Last year we did Work Song by Hozier. Oh, and our class name is Ultra.
EMWP-
Since 2012 I have been a participant of the Endless Mountains Writing Project. That year I worked on a project focusing on fan fiction, but wasn't truly able to implement it due to the fact that I had an unsteady student population and had to focus on curriculum, not so much other side projects. In 2013 I completed another workshop to focus on Common Core State Standards, but at that time I didn't have my next year's assignment, so I still focused on middle school. I've now taught 3rd grade for my third year, and had the opportunity to complete another EMWP class. This one focused on STEM/STEAM integration with writing, inquiry, innovation, and engagement as focus areas. Lots to think about to find out what I can do to implement more writing into my third grade curriculum.
Book Club-
I miss this outlet. I haven't been able to meet since September, I think we only had 1 other meeting since then. I've still been reading, thanks to my Kindle. Mary Kay Andrews has become a favorite author of mine thanks to the Page Turners. Another great piece of literature that was shared at book club was Outlander. I'm not caught up on season 1, nor did I finish rereading book 1 before starting Dragonfly in Amber, but hopefully I will be able to refocus on the 1750s during our summer reenactment schedule. I do miss my book club friends though. This summer I'll be participating in a professional book club for The Daily 5. I'm looking forward to that!
18th century-
Lots of great things happen here. We have been able to join a group called Brant's Volunteers/Croghan's Rangers and get to participate at Old Fort Niagara as our home base. This is the group that we belong to in Elmira at Newtown Battlefield. Last year we added a new event at Hull house in Lancaster, NY. I was able to bake a pie from scratch in the Dutch oven, and I also learned how to make scones. I love our reenacting group and finally felt really at ease with these people. The locations we get to participate at are beautiful, and I really enjoy learning so much. This year we get to add one more new event, Fort Roberdeau, outside Altoona. It does mean that we are forgoing the NMLRA/NLHRF Northeastern for the year, but it is happening in Orrington, Maine, which would be a 10 hour trip. But we are adding in one new rendezvous- Lancaster Longrifles hosted by the one and only Danny Gichner. All of our friends will be there, and that happens at the end of this month. This plan also lets me take a break from running the children's games for the foundation Northeastern. Next year I'll be back at it in Vermont. Last year I ran them at French Azilum outside Towanda, which was one of my favorite historic sites of my childhood.
School-
I was able to continue teaching third grade again, this being my third year. However, each year we have been implementing something new. This year we departmentalized so I am responsible for math for all the third graders in my building, and last year I helped to write the math curriculum and align it to Common Core State Standards. There were definitely some hiccups and growing pains along the way, but we are now up to PSSA time in my district. I feel that there is always room for improvement, and hopefully my students will score well enough to get us a decent SPP score. But, that being said, this week is the week we should complete the math testing, but I don't think that will be happening, as we are facing a strike. Our contract expired as I first started teaching third grade, and our bargaining team began the negotiations process a year in advance. The time for wait and see is over, and it is now the time for action. Picketing, preparing lunches, and delivering to students in need in Ridgebury will now be my role instead of teaching math, holding guided reading and RTII sessions, attending meetings, and supervising recess. Hopefully both sides will be able to come to an agreement and the impasse will be over. The PDE gets to dictate just how many days we can strike, but I'd prefer to be optimistic that all parties involved would be able to come to a compromise before the end of that time. At this point we just have to support each other and hope for the best.
Direct Sales-
I made my 5 year milestone with Stampin' Up! At times I wonder if I should keep my demonstratorship, but then I end up getting a new lead. Not that anything has come out of those, but it at least makes me have second thoughts about dropping it. But, there are other opportunities as well. Last summer three of my friends started selling Jamberry, and I fell hard for them! Anyone who remembers my nail polish collection will understand. Plus, after my father's death I took up the hobby of collecting nail polish again. I'm not sure of the connection, but I'm going with it. If I give up Stampin' Up! I will definitely consider selling Jamberry. Another fun thing I found would be Young Living essential oils. I have some blends and singles and a diffuser, and even Dave doesn't seem to mind them! I probably won't sign up for those, but I am definitely working to learn more about them.
Travel-
This year I was able to travel to Las Vegas for our Christmas/not Christmas trip. The flight was long, Vegas is big, and they have a terrible homeless problem. To be homeless in a desert environment is harsh. This year it was warmer in PA at Christmas than it was in Arizona. In fact, we had snow at the Grand Canyon that day. We went to 1 national park- Red Rock Canyon, 1 state park- Valley of Fire, and the West Rim of the Grand Canyon on the Hualapai Reservation. We also walked the strip and went through a handful of casinos. The Flamingo was my favorite, and then probably Mandalay Bay. We saw Terry Fator perform at the Mirage, and then I saw Evil Dead: The Musical on my own. We made it to a lot of the reality show sites that are in Vegas, ate some Greek and Cajun food, went on the High Roller, and made it to the Old Strip, known as Freemont Street. Using the time share I am going to drive my mom out to Cape Cod for a week in June.
Life-
I stopped taking birth control this fall. We'll see what happens next. And we had so much fun at our Sweet Sixteen high school reunion I am helping to plan our annual summer potluck that we plan to have for all in-between reunion years. And this year is the 25th anniversary of HBT, so a mighty fine reunion is being planned for that as well.

So that is my update! I have church with my mom tomorrow in honor of my dad. Good night!

I apologize for my random cry for help earlier this week. I believe I was processing some new and overwhelming information and I became extremely weepy during that time. I am better now. Maybe, maybe not in the grand scheme of things, but I can get through a day without being on the verge of tears. While some things in the realm of school/work are outside my control, I feel far more confident heading into the homestretch of marking period 2. Tutoring kids are good and doing well. As for personal health I have fought some kind of respiratory/sinus thing for 2 weeks successfully without becoming totally and completely sick. My weight is high, but after two vasovagal episodes since the start of the year I feel like maybe I should listen to my doctor's advice, watch my carb intake, add more protein, and see if I can fix myself. The scales are starting to move in the right direction. Now if only I could find time to do something active. I am almost to the maintenance phase with my allergy shots. Dave & I are good, but always busy. Hunting season has come to an end, but I may go small game hunting to help increase activity. We are ready for winter to be over. This summer will be busy with our camping & reenactment schedule. I volunteered to run children's game for the Northeastern for the next two years. We will get to go to Fort Niagara for the 4th of July. Our 18th century frolic will be happening later this month. We really enjoy our 18th century friends and always look forward to spending time with them. The world of Stampin' Up! is good, but again, always busy with some new promotion or event. Book club has been a great addition with friend & reading time. Those gals came into my life at a really important time 2 years ago. All in all, things are okay. As per my usual, I am busy and over-extended, something the psychic picked up on. Dawn Krug sounds like a person I want to meet for myself. She told my mom a lot, and while it made me weepy with a lot of new information to process, it may have been exactly what I needed.

I think I have come to the conclusion that I am not okay. I think I was okay on Monday, and even parts of Tuesday. Today I have been terribly weepy most of the day. I even weighed myself twice this week. When things spiral I try to find something I can control. Often it is my weight/eating/diet. I want Kirsten & Lisa. I seriously need a personal guidance counselor. In the meantime maybe I will just try to get back to lj. All I know is this is not good and I'm not quite sure how I will make it to March.

The concept of where I am from can mean a few different things. In its most literal, it should mean the geographical area that you were raised in. As an active participant in my high school drama club, we performed Thornton Wilder’s Our Town, and I distinctly remember the address that was used when Rebecca Gibbs tells her brother about a letter a minister sent to her friend Jane Crofut. Sometimes we are more than just the place where we grew up; and at times that is just a small piece of the entire context of whom we are and who we have grown to be. At the point of starting my thirty-first year of life in Gillett, Bradford County, Pennsylvania, the United States of America, the continent of North America, on the planet Earth, I can tell you both where I am from and where I desperately want to be.( Collapse )

The concept of where I am from can mean a few different things. In its most literal, it should mean the geographical area that you were raised in. As an active participant in my high school drama club, we performed Thornton Wilder’s Our Town, and I distinctly remember the address that was used when Rebecca Gibbs tells her brother about a letter a minister sent to her friend Jane Crofut. Sometimes we are more than just the place where we grew up; and at times that is just a small piece of the entire context of whom we are and who we have grown to be. At the point of starting my thirty-first year of life in Gillett, Bradford County, Pennsylvania, the United States of America, the continent of North America, on the planet Earth, I can tell you both where I am from and where I desperately want to be.( Collapse )

This is what I have so far...
The concept of where I am from can mean a few different things. In its most literal, it should mean the geographical area that you were raised in. As an active participant in my high school drama club, we performed Thornton Wilder’s Our Town, and I distinctly remember the address that was used. Sometimes we are more than just the place where we grew up; and at times that is just a small piece of the entire context of whom we are and who we have grown to be. At the point of starting my thirty-first year of life in Gillett, Bradford County, Pennsylvania, the United States of America, the continent of North America, on the planet Earth, I can tell you both where I am from and where I desperately want to be. ( Collapse )

I decided to stick with the EMWP after discussing things with Dr. Werner-Burke. That being said, I need to write my narrative piece this week. Do I have anyone who would be interested in reading it? I tried to read what I had done in April to an 8 or 9 year old on Sunday. I don't think that really benefitted the situation at all. Let me know if there is anyone interested in reading about "Where I am from".

Yesterday was pretty lame. I lost "my" job. I was told I have another one. Totally contingent upon whether the budget passes and it is okay to "create" the "new" job I will have. That being said, I can't say anything else about it until it becomes official. So like June, July, maybe? Today I decided it would probably be in my best interests to back out of the EMWP. I was also informed that I was at the level 3 priority level for district reimbursement, not level 1 like I believed because I don't have Level II certification, which is priority category #1... Not to mention Sunday would have been my father's 69th birthday. I cry on the way to work. Sometimes I cry at work. Sometimes I cry as I go to sleep. My counselor friend gave me some information I need to look into. Now my July appears to be totally open. It's only 10 more days once I wake up for tomorrow. I still need to assess all of my kids and then write up a report and pack my room. Now that I frankly don't care much anymore (and I did have my final observation) it is all getting boxed up. It's not like I need to be a reading teacher again any time soon.

I just had to go back to a post from 2001 to find this entry and essentially repost it. Let's just say this has been one hell of a shitty year. The last half of 2012 had better pick up in a major way or I will sit around waiting for the end of the Mayan calendar, Rapture, or some random spaceship eclispe cult nonsense because I about feel done with the planet right now. And no, I can't talk about it until the budget passes. So like June. Awesome.

Today my feelings and emotions are best summed up through a story that many of you might know, by Judith Viorst. It is called Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.
I went to sleep with gum in my mouth and now there's gum in my hair and when I got out of bed this morning I tripped on the skateboard and by mistake I dropped my sweater in the sink while the water was running and I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
At breakfast Anthony found a Corvette Sting Ray car kit in his breakfast cereal box and Nick found a Junior Undercover Agent code ring in his breakfast cereal box but in my breakfast cereal box all I found was breakfast cereal.
I think I'll move to Australia.
In the car pool Mrs. Gibson let becky have a seat by the window. Audrey and Elliot got seats by the window too. I said I was being scrunched. I said I was being smushed. I said, if I don't get a seat by the window I am going to be carsick. No one even answered.
I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
At school Mrs. Dickens liked Paul's picture of the sailboat better than my picture of the invisible castle.
At singing time she said I sang too loud. At counting time she said I left out sixteen. Who needs sixteen? I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
I could tell because Paul said I wasn't his best friend anymore. He said that Philip Parker was his best friend and that Albert Moyo was his next best friend and that I was only his third best friend.
I hope you sit on a tack, I said to Paul. I hope the next time you get a double-decker strawberry ice-cream cone the ice cream part falls off the cone part and lands in Australia.
There were two cupcakes in Philip Parker's lunch bag and Albert got a Hershey bar with almonds and Paul's mother gave him a piece of jelly roll that had little coconut sprinkles on the top. Guess whose mother forgot to put in dessert?
It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
That's what it was, because after school my mom took us all to the dentist and Dr. Fields found a cavity just in me. Come back next week and I'll fix it, said Dr. Fields.
Next week, I said, I'm going to Australia.
On the way downstairs the elevator door closed on my foot and while we were waiting for my mom to go get the car Anthony made me fall where it was muddy and then when I started crying because of the mud Nick said I was a crybaby and
while I was punching Nick for saying crybaby my mom came back with the car and scolded me for being muddy and fighting.
I am having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, I told everybody. No one even answered.
So then we went to the shoestore to buy some sneakers. Anthony chose white ones with blue stripes. Nick chose red ones with white stripes. I chose blue ones with red stripes but then the shoe man said, We're all sold out. They made me buy plain white ones, but they can't make me wear them.
When we picked up my dad at his office he said I couldn't play with his copying machine, but I forgot. He also said to watch out for the books on his desk, and I was careful as could be except for my elbow. He also said don't fool around with his phone, but I think I called Australia. My dad said please don't pick him up anymore.
It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
There were lima beans for dinner and I hate limas.
There was kissing on TV and I hate kissing.
My bath was too hot, I got soap in my eyes, my marble went down the drain, and I had to wear my railroad-train pajamas. I hate my railroad-train pajamas.
When I went to bed Nick took back the pillow he said I could keep and the Mickey Mouse night light burned out and I bit my tongue.
The cat wants to sleep with Anthony, not with me.
It has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
My mom says some days are like that.
Even in Australia.

I can't even begin to express how much better I feel from yesterday morning. Yoga was incredible. I got to study for my Praxis exam and I feel confident and relaxed. My weight was 186.5, but if I keep up the running and yoga I can work with that. Now I will be off to Mansfield for my test and to visit with Belinda. I feel like being more mindful will be able to help me in many areas, to help prevent speeding, overeating, and getting too overwhelmed. I really need to find more yoga classes with Melanie. I love her, and I am so happy my first yoga experiences were with her. I am so grateful for the mutual friends I have made through Dave. These people are actually people I want to get to know better and spend time with. I enjoy their company and they enjoy mine. It isn't simply a toleration of another person, and this could be why I don't have any former mutual friends. They were never supposed to be mine, but really, the people I have met now, I just adore and value them. They make me wonder what it would have been like to either A) go to Athens or B) have dated Dave in high school. The fit is so good...