Last Friday I got in line at the supermarket at the same time as someone else and I didn't yield (-8 points). In July I helped baybearcub hide a body (-173 points). In February I donated bone marrow to gummydragon in a life-saving procedure (300 points). Last Sunday I put gum in rayzolt's hair (-12 points). Last Monday I set bumbelion1977's puppy on fire (-66 points).
Overall, I've been nice (41 points). For Christmas I deserve a shiny red ball!
One day, Jimmy Joe was walking down Main Street when he saw his buddy Bubba driving a brand new pickup.
Bubba pulled up to him with a wide grin.
"Bubba, where'd you get that truck?!?"
"Bobby Ray gave it to me" Bubba replied .
"He gave it to you? I knew he was kinda sweet on ya, but a new truck?"
"Well, Jimmy Joe, let me tell you what happened. We were driving out on County Road 6, in the middle of nowhere. All of a sudden, Bobby Ray pulled off the road, put the truck in 4-wheel drive, and headed into the woods. He parked the truck, got out, threw off all his clothes 'cept for his boots, laid up in the grass with his pecker hard as a rock and his ass in the air, and said, 'Bubba, take whatever you want'.
So I took the truck!"
"Bubba, you're a smart man!. Them boots woulda never fit you!"
Tom had been in the liquor business for 25 years. Finally, sick of the stress, he quit his job and bought 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He saw the postman once a week and got groceries once a month. Otherwise, it was total peace and quiet.
After about six months of almost total isolation, someone knocked on his door. He opened it and a huge, bearded man was standing there.
"Name's Lars, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night...thought you might like to come. About 5:00."
"Great", says Tom, "after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you."
As Lars left, he stopped. "Gotta warn you......be some drinkin'."
"Not a problem" says Tom. "After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of 'em."
Again, the big man started to leave and stopped. "More 'n' likely gonna be some fightin', too."
"Well, I get along with people; I'll be all right. I'll be there. Thanks again."
"More'n likely be some wild sex, too!"
"Now that's really not a problem," says Tom, warming to the idea.
"I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?"
"Don't much matter ..... Just gonna be the two of us."
jagbear sent to me...
horny
naughty