if customers buy stuff because of scarcity and fomo, grocery stores should drill a little hole at the bottom of all their milk cartons. this way, the customers will be enouraged to buy the milk as fast as possible, as if they dont, it will just pour out

elections but you vote for one member of the government to eliminate every time. last government official standing is declared Winner Of The Government

advertising absolutely sucks and should be regulated into oblivion but it also would be absolutely hillarious to lift all advertising guidelines and regulations. horrible for virtually everyone, but hillarious. all companies will insteantly start proclaiming that their product will cure the cancer that their competitors’ product will cause. cereal boxes will have full-frontal nudity on them. the kid beer skit from wkyk will play out word for word.

too much of our terraforming efforts are going towards creating golf courses and not enough are going towards digging holes in the tops of mountains and filling them with lava to make new volcanoes

sometimes i wonder what would happen if i were to go to an airport with a giant, obviously fake, cartoony bomb. you know, the one thats like a black christmas bauble with a fuse. 💣. how would the aorport staff react.

cooking show idea: several people who know absolutely nothing about cooking are locked in kitchens. they are given the name and photo of a hard-to-prepare dish and must try to cook it. they are not allowed to look any recipes up. the kitchen is stocked with ingredients, but none of them are labelled and the people arent told which ones to pick. whoever gets closest to making the dish wins

in the cuck chair, doing obnoxious reaction streamer type commentary

burger but pronounced like merger

to adress the issue of corporations caring about shareholders instead of people, if i ever become president i will give every citizen a little share so that by definition they are now a shareholder. the corporations will get disoriented and have no choice but to turn from evil to good

well, im gonna put my money where my mouth is. and then chew it. then swallow it. mmmm money