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could u imagine if ppl talked about catholicism the same way they talked about like… indigenous ppl’s religions….
girl in horror movie holding a bible open: “according to legend, a mob tortured a half-man, half-god, and nailed him to a wooden cross, leaving him to starve to death. But days later, on this very night, they found he had clawed his way out of the grave. Now those who believe lie in wait for him to rise again, To honour him, they have weekly gatherings where they chant and sing, and at the end of it they eat his flesh and blood.”
girl’s friend: “wow.. thats so creepy…”
horror movie jock: “it’s only a myth, don’t worry”
I love the fact that this is insinuating that jesus is going to try to kill these kids
“They say, when you die, he’ll take your soul to live with him for all eternity…”
(Ominous door slamming, distant organ music plays “For I am the lord of the dance said he”)
Reblogged kelpiemomma
antarcticconfessions-deactivate
I love how it doesn't matter what expedition it is.
They all turn into excited kids when they meet penguins.
The Penguin: GIANTS! no way! I’m gonna wave at them THEY WAVED BACK! Holy Shit they’re dancing with me! My Wife is never gonna believe this OMG I got to dance with a Giant today so cool.
The Humans: Penguin! No way! I’m gonna wave at it IT WAVED BACK! Holy Shit it’s flapping with me! I got to play with a Penguin today; so cool.
where's the joy and whimsy guy? Have they found this one yet?
Joy and whimsy detected! This post is joyful and whimsical!
Who am I to deny a penguin some joy and whimsy 🐧
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Two things can be true at the same time
1. Exploring the concept of Cybertronians being unaware humans are sentient - or, the less scrupulous hiding it in order to make a profit - and adopting humans as “pets” is a very well-established trope, and has its place in fanfiction just the same as any other trope. It’s fun! People like it for a reason!
2. Humans would make the WORST PETS OF ALL TIME, EVER, FULL STOP.
Care requirements are horrible. Complicated. We evolved in harmony with an unutterably delicate and complex ecosystem, and removing us from it without immediately killing us requires three advanced degrees per mech, specialized equipment, and an entire team of scientists, medics, and engineers. If you don’t have the resources of a major xenological park to hand, including the deep pockets of shanix to pay for it all, you’ve already failed.
Behavior wise? Humans lose our shit in captivity. We use captivity as punishment for our species. You throw a human in a cage, and they know they’re in a cage, and it won’t matter what enrichment you provide. They will become unhinged. They will have one goal: to break out of the cage. They will be angry at you when they break out of the cage.
You are getting the hellish combination of an under-stimulated Border collie, an unpredictable chimpanzee, an isolated Seaworld orca missing their pod, with the spite of a recently shaved cat. When your “pet” human breaks out, when, not if, the mech “owner” will wake from recharge to find someone with tiny hands and advanced problem-solving abilities is now living in their walls. They are coming out only with the intention of committing acts of sabotage and violence that would make the DJD think “That’s a bit much.” They are going to kill you in your recharge.
Besides, humans don’t live long compared to mechs. It would be like mechs keeping a fruit fly as a pet, if the fruit fly had opposable thumbs, a shiv made out of scrap metal, and a personal vendetta against the mech for putting them in a cage.
“But humans are domesticated, they even domesticated themselves! They love to play and follow routines and respond to positive stimuli! They’re so cute when they sleep! They pack bond easily!”
That’s Unicron talking. Do not listen.
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I like to imagine a scenario where humanity just never developed energy guns and has stuck to kinetic weaponry forever and at some point some alien species thinks about messing with the wrong apex predator species.
Alien 1: "Captain, I assure you, our ships can't be breached by anything weaker than a concentrated proton beam. They barely have lasers. We'll be fine."
Alien 2: "Sub relativistic projectile incom-" gets hit by a railgun shell at mach fuck
Reblogged kelpiemomma
NEW FISH JUST DROPPED
cannibalcaprine-deactivated2024
I KNOW that playing God is morally wrong, but holy HELL, it looks fun.
Why is it playing God? We aren’t violating any natural laws. God set the parameters of the universe to allow these things. There’s nothing wrong with it, there’s no hubris in learning more about how to manipulate the universe around us.
cannibalcaprine-deactivated2024
We made a whole-ass fish.
The reason this was accidental BTW is because they used paddlefish eggs as a negative control group for a breeding experiment on sturgeons because the scientists, quite naturally, assumed that they were SO unrelated it would be genetically impossible for them to mate. Like. I cannot stress enough to you how these creatures last related ancestors were
140 MILLION YEARS BACK.
If you don't know how far that is, that's basically the start of the cretaceous. Let me simplify that for you even further. Chimpanzees and humans seperated, what, 5 or 6 million years ago?
This is basically like if humans could hybridise with THESE THINGS.
This is the sort of thing that should be impossible. They used those eggs to be ABSOLUTELY 100% SURE NOTHING WOULD HAPPEN.
And then THEY GOT FISH OUT OF IT.
Like. You can quite clearly understand why they didn't think anything would happen. WE ARE MORE RELATED TO BLUE WHALES THAN THESE THINGS.
THE AMERICAN PADDLEFISH AND THE STURGEON ARE SO COMPLETELY UNRELATED THAT THIS IS NOT PLAYING GOD. IF ANYTHING THIS IS AN ACT OF GOD.
THE SCIENTISTS HAD NO BLAME IN THIS BECAUSE NOTHING LIKE THIS HAD EVER HAPPENED BEFORE
It sort of goes against the rules of genetics a bit.
Oh i forgot to add
THESE THINGS, FOR HYBRIDS, HAD A REALLY HIGH SURVIVAL RATING. LIKE 70% OF THEM SURVIVED.
To put that into perspective, getting a blue whale and a squirrel and trying to hybridise them is more sensible, and that wouldn't produce anything but getting you banned from science. Most animals that aren't plants can barely hybridise two degrees away from each other.
BUT THESE TWO ENTIRELY UNRELATED FISH create PERFECTLY HEALTHY HYBRIDS.
the scientists literally had to do the tests AGAIN just to be like "okay this is real right. This is actually like, not a fluke, this works right" and it worked again. They just Can!
So for those who don't know what the original fishes look like, this is an American Paddlefish:
And this is a Russian Sturgeon:
So honestly, saying the hybrid is "weird looking" is a bit fort de café when you see its parents. I think the sturddlefish looks cute.
"these creatures last related ancestors were 140 million years back"
(glances at fish)
Yeah that's exactly what I thought you'd look like, you Mesozoic fuck
#Holding a red squirrel in my left hand and a blue whale in my right desperately hoping to make a purple squale (via @dykepuffs)
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your-loss-of-critical-thinking
More tears today, I'm on fire!
Fallere, Art by Pere203 posted on Reddit - link HERE.
Art by Pere203
Art by Pere203
Art by Pere203