It's not nearly as much fun as when they attack, believe you me.

Anyway, because I was stuck in a hearing -- waiting pretty much fruitlessly for someone to say something they hadn't said before, and not having access to the story files themselves -- my run at the WIP meme:



Sports Night
Dana: Let me get this straight. This is a story about Sam and me.
Author: Right.
Dana: Me and Sam in a...romantic sense.
Author: Yep.
Dana: Really?
Author: ... It's supposed to be. That's what the "/" in the request is for.
Dana: So why have I not even been in the same scene as Sam yet? And what're Dan and Casey doing taking up so much of the word count?
Author: They'rebeingcuteandbanter-yandcanondoomsyoutwoanywayandIdidn'tfeellikeangsting.
Dana: Hrmph. Well, at least they're not getting any, either.
Dan: We're not? Where do I file a complaint?
Author: *points* Sorkin went thataway.

Alias
Sark: This started out as fun.
Weiss: Fun? Not exactly what I'd call it.
Sark: Be quiet. I'm fairly sure the dead aren't capable of speech.
Weiss: Not without the green gunk they're not!
Marshall: Yeah, and that just applies to the ones who deserved it, which I totally didn't because I never did anything to you. Although that's not to say that I never wished I had, especially since all I did was not answer a question. I think someone seriously needs some anger management. I mean, the look on your face. And actually, now that I think about it, it would've been fun, getting out in the field and firing off a couple rounds at your head for all the times you scared the crap out of me...not that I'd do that!
Sark: *nearing SpyDaddy's record on the glare-o'-death meter*
Weiss: Wow. I never realized anyone could go whiter than ghost-white. And you started out pretty white to begin with, Marshall.
Author: *facepalm* I can't even keep an imaginary conversation about this on track.
Sark: At least have the decency to not cut this off until I've killed Sloane. Slowly.
Author: Hey, I'm letting you play demolition derby right now.
Sark: There is that.

Ultraviolet
Vaughan: You didn't kill Jack. Again.
Michael: I couldn't, okay?
Vaughan: Well, because you couldn't, Angie almost died.
Rose: And me.
Michael: I know that, Vaughan! What, you think I don't have eyes?
Vaughan: It's up for debate.
Michael: Sod off.
Rose: *raises hand* Um, child present.
Vaughan: Oh, now you get angry. God, man, if you'd--
Author: Can you guys just...hold onto that thought for a bit.
Rose: I don't think they're listening. And they certainly don't look like they're going to stop glaring.
Author: Okay, good.
Rose: But they are beginning to lean.
Author: I'm counting on you to keep anything from happening.
Rose: *eyes the two men* Uh-huh.

Farscape
John: I don't have the first damn clue where I'm going.
John: It took me forever to figure out who it is that's decided to fuck with my head this time.
John: Not that I know for sure. Because where'd the fun be in that?
John: And I'm still talking to just myself, aren't I?
Author: Er, yeah.
John: Why?
Author: Because I think it'll do you good?
John: Gee, thanks, mom.
Author: Y'know, for a while I thought you'd be better off dead. In fact, I quite enjoyed the idea of you in bitty pieces.
John: If you can come up with a copy of that movie -- and better yet, the entire Cusack oeuvre -- I'll sit myself down over here, quiet as a mouse.
Author: Deal.
John: I'm keeping the gun, though. And one of those exercise wheels would be good.

Pirates of the Carribbean
Norrington: It's ocassionally quite hazardous to read fabu's postings.
Sparrow: Particularly late in those evening hours. Very dangerous time.
Author: You betcha.
Sparrow: And do you intend to carry on with the plan you've laid out there on those pages, thereby facilitating our carrying on?
Author: I did before I fell asleep and the sun came up and the plan stalled.
Both: We know!
Sparrow: It's getting a mite uncomfortable, really.

Stargate
Daniel: Why is it my responsibility to figure out how to get Jack out of that ice? I thought it was Sam's turn.
Sam: I'm having a crisis of my own here.
Author: Plus, katie_m pointed out how much fun you are when you're in super-focused, to-hell-with-reality mode.
Daniel: Fun?
Sam: Heh. Yeah, you do get a little carried away sometimes, Daniel.
Daniel: But...fun?
Author: It's the "driven-academic/scientist" thing, I think.
Daniel: *blinks*
Teal'c: Is it not when he is "driven" that people are most likely to come to harm.
Author: Your point?
Jack: Mmmph!
Author: Yeah, I'm not any happier than you are that you're not around. So hush up.

Stargate: The Natural Apocalypse
Jack: Okay, what'd you do this time?
Harry: This? This is your own fault.
Jack: Oh, really. And how's that?
Harry: If you had let us keep the Touchstone instead of getting all huffy about it...
Jack: You've been waiting for this moment, haven't you? Sunning yourself under a palm tree and reveling in the picture of the moment when you could shove that in our faces.
Harry: Come on, Jack. Would I do that?
Jack: Yep.
Harry: Hm. Especially since my island sank a couple of hours ago.
Author: Dammit, this is the one I want to play with now!