- Mon, 09:34: Not a big fan of Mondays, but this one is starting off extra rough. I was startled awake, & nearly threw up in my CPAP mask. Looked at the time on my work phone & had multiple issues / messages already waiting for me. Long story short (too late), it's going to be a long day...
Anyone that know me, knows that I am not a Monday kind of person. In fact, my friend Mark Wheeler (Scout Leader Troop 506) used to love making comments on my usually negative Monday Morning facebook posts. Shortly after Jack and I joined the troop, he saddled up next to me at the beginning of a troop meeting, and said, "I get the impression that you just absolutely hate Monday mornings. Why is that?"
It's only natural to have some negative feelings about the day that officially ends your weekend, and forces you back to the grind of daily work. But I always get the worst sleep of any night in the week on a Sunday night. My mind just won't stop thinking about what all is entailed in the following day's activities and job. And, it doesn't help that so much of what my job had become in the years surrounding that time period had become nothing but a hotbed of stress.
lack of decent pay, little to no appreciation, constantly worrying about being laid off.
I no longer have those exact same stresses. I get paid quite well. Very well, actually. I do feel appreciated at my job, and know the importance of everything that I do. I'm busy enough, that for at least right now, I don't fear being laid off. Although, that is a realistic concern about two or three years up the road. We will cover that bridge when we get to it.
Most of my current stress is surrounding just the large amount of work that I have to accomplish, the stresses that come from being management and being a key leader for the entire market area, lack of good staffing at the moment, and lack of the ability to feel successful in attaining the weekly goals that are set before my teams. There is more of a focus on actions per hour achievement (based upon completely unrealistic goals, set against targets that are sketchy at best in validating they have been calculated correctly) instead of generated revenue , safety, and actual work complete for the customer.
All that aside, this morning did start out rough.
I woke to multiple messages that needed to be addressed immediately, instead of when I finally got around to making it into the office.
For some reason, last night's Chinese food (Beef and Broccoli) had not settled well, and my stomach was a bit upset and churning. I kept burping up bile and acid; almost throwing up in my CPAP mask at one point. Not the way a person wants to start the morning.
And, on top of that, I am still exhausted and sleepy.
Even with following all of the guidelines set by my sleep doctor, after all of the data collected in the sleep study and with utilizing the CPAP machine, I am still just as exhausted and tired as I was before starting this whole sleep study process.
curious
depressed