The Last Day

Filled with pride,
stand tall the deadly sins
offering them sadistic grins,
with a hint of mischief
despondency blankets the speck of light that remains
with nothing to shine
  • Current Location
    Paris, France

Dream Queen

I kiss the glass,
And feel the cold
I tear open my heart
The ill and the weary thing
Beats weakly, with a sorrowful resonance
And inside its ill-fitting cage
Weary water and tinged red milk
Move swiftly, lapping at the shallow shores of conscience
It is there, where you are
Queen of spiders and other killing things
The Witching Hour is your domain
And as frozen, gut wrenching breaths tear from my inner sanctuary,
I struggle to see a perfect forest of trees
In splintered glass and torn up paper
And like the foolish Prince
I ask
Is it to be?
And silence echoes my reply
"Hush now. Hush!
You'll only work up that sleeping beast
And only blood will tame this beast"
So I sit, waiting
And waiting
And waiting
Hoping for a reprieve of my own devising
Yet
My mind traps me
Like so many wolves and other horrid things
I dream
Oh lord,
Do I dream
Crying skies and drops of blood
And witches brews and mashed up bugs
And little girls and full grown men
"Stop!"
She screams, that evil queen
"You'll only make me cry!"
And to give into her would be the birthing of new light
But I refrain, I hold back
And I allow her a moments silence
To mourn the pretty princess gowns
And little tiaras made of thorns
And pink gloves of cult thoughts
Then I bid goodbye,
Like I have before
And exit through my dreaming's door
And let out the musty air
That choked my lungs and made me gag
Then I'm here again
I'm lonely and defeated and torn limb from limb
I hate, I beg
I feel myself caving in
Back to me, the Ugly Beauty
And when I wake
I will wish to dream,
Evermore,
And though I'm far off now,
I promise
I will return

first posting "The Smile They See"

i close my eyes against the tears
that well as though a coming rain
and push all thought from my mind
in an effort to stop the pain
but inside i feel the cry resound
as it echos within me
and clamping my jaw tightly shut
so the screams cannot break free
i feel the rip inside my soul
as every denial rages out
so i clench my fingers, nails digging in
refusing still to shout
a burden i bear all my own
a secret none can see
and with a smile that lies i greet the world
while i crumble inside of me
  • Current Music
    the truth beneath the rose-within temptation

Oh, the Night

Oh, the night

The night when sound

Ceased to matter

When the angels cried

And devils screamed

I am haunted by ghosts

Ripping at my skin

And tugging at my clothes

Oh, sweet nectar

Lull me to sleep

Let me dream

Not of ghouls

But of shining princes

And corn-silk braided hair

With glass slippers and

Carriages, drawn by 12 coal black mares

Be still,

My fluttering heart

Banging broken fists against

Marrow and deceit

A cage filled with roses and bloody tulips

Be silent, be still

Quit your useless cries

Allow grey matter to decide

My fate

My own blood

On my own hands

Drips, drips, drips

Silently down

Into shoes filled with rice

And checkered floors,

White and black and pristine

Oh god,

Their bloody now

Drowning in a sea of sticky,

Copper

Pain, pain, pain

Hush my sobbing skin

Speak my silent throat

Let this night never end

For if it does

You’ll only go back to

The false bravado

And calla lilies with green petals

And silent movies

With obvious innuendos

That thought disgusts you

Doesn’t it?

It makes me feel sick

That thought

It truly does

Oh, quiet now

Quiet

Listen to my breath in the eaves

We are lost

Babes in the woods

Helpless and frightened

We run like children

Away, away, away

Ah, silence once more

Thank you clarity

Thank you moon

Good night

Good bye

Good luck

Reward for My Tourture

Cries of longing for your touch,
In dreams and nightmares,
Desire and lust,
I wait in darkness,
For you are my release,
Among pools of blood,
Wounds of my heart,
My companions,
Suffering and pain,
Full of desire,
For consumption,
To kiss you again,
You are my lifeblood,
You are my soul in peace,
Reward for my torture.

© 2011 Annika
  • Current Location
    Between Heaven & Hell

To the Snake who Deceived Me

You promised perfection


All I got was lies


You said that you loved me


But you were really the whore of Babylon


Just the thought of your gossamer wings


Used to send trembles of excitement


Through my very being,


But now, thinking of the horns the halo hid


I feel sick to my stomach


Like I wasted my precious time


On a worthless whore

You snake

You liar

You horrible being


I would wish you ill


If that would make my heart stop aching


I would watch you burn,


A thousand and one times


And still not feel content


Will you hurt her,


The way you hurt me?


You boasted of your bravery


You cried that you spoke only truth


Yet when the end came


You wrote it from a distance


Instead of breaking me to my face


I never lied to you


I meant everything I said


And I suppose that makes me a fool


They all told me who you really were


But I refused to listen


I made you into an angel


I thought only of you


God, how I wish I had listened


Instead, I was thrown to the wolves

Romeo

Romeo
Oh, Romeo
Lips slick with witches brews
Tongue twisted with falsified promise
Lover of death, 
Hater of truth 
For the one who sings the praises of man,
For the one who tricked love
Impish creature
Beautiful lie
You think you know existence,
When all you really know is 
Pretentious love
Standing below her window
You scream out 
You trick 
You take
Romeo, Romeo
Why are you Romeo?
You are tongue,
You are throat 
You are not real 
For what you feel 
Is naught but lust
Hungry lips, 
Hungry eyes,
Delicious lies
Delicately spun words
With good intentions in hand
You smite the longevity of love
Be making a second long decision,
And mouthing sweet poetry
You lap up spilt tears
Like a dog,
Like a snake
You’re sure that its love
You know it to be true
But your truth is false
Your logic flawed
Your words mean nothing
Without weight to back them up
You flutter, a wingless being 
From flower to lovely flower
You sip nectar 
But never appreciate
The true taste 
Oh, Romeo 
Forever in precarious sin
Let your heart guide you
And take the life from your chest

(no subject)

On my knees back at the beginning
Finally realized theres no end
After years of running into your arms
You've proven less than a friend

A carefully crafted escape
A momentary relief
And in the end you've done nothing
but miscalculate my grief

Catapulted into another world
Where the clouds catch my fall
But then you turn on me 
And I'm responsible for it all

You leave me hopeless again
And without you I'm crying
Searching for some strength
To keep me trying
To keep my soul from dying

Im already dead
Can't get you outta my head
Or the nasty things they said

Can't quiet the voices
Can't take back my choices
You leave me lifeless
What a crisis
...I've got no one to call but you
  • Current Mood
    drained drained

What side


What side of the polar are we on today----  The high or the low no one else would know---- Cry on the outside dieing within----  We always look cause we can not win----  Death such a pleasant thought---- All those things never forgot----  Imprisoned inside your very soul----  Loosing your mind out of control----  Never knowing which way to turn always feeling the eternal burn----  Up and down back and forth----  Know it will never really take its course----  Screaming but no one hears----  Most likely don't even care----  Sometimes you feel like a criminal----  Just for the thought you think----  Open the poison and take a drink----  If people could know what we can think----  They would throw the key and wash it down the sink----  PAIN, SORROW, DREAD----  HATE,   LOVE,   DEATH----  Save me, kill me, feel me, even just see me----  They will never understand what they can never feel, so on real----  Why would any one want too----  But for us its nothing new----  USED, ABUSED, and LEFT BEHIND----  FORGOTTEN, HATED, BLAMED----  Will it ever end?  NO----  How have we survived this long----  Why do we still live when we mostly want to die----  LIE-- SIE-- NO REPLY----   We just want the love and understanding we will probably never have----  well maybe its just that slight hope that keeps us alive another day----

Release

My eyes are tired, don't want to close them.
'Cause if I do, I know I'll break down.
The light in them is starting to grow dim
and yet I'm still so tightly wound.

My body hurts, still I move on.
My heart gets faster with every beat.
I wonder, will I make it to dawn?
No one knows so I retreat.

Running on the inside, I trip and fall;
I feel the pain scourge through.
I miss my sanity most of all
and realize there is nothing left to do.

So when I fall, I don't try to stop;
everything slows in pace.
I just let my body drop
and feel relief spread across my face.

I lie in the dark, cold and alone,
thinking about how I don't care.
The meaning in this is still unknown
and try to decipher, I do not dare.

I shed a tear and close my eyes;
I let myself crumble apart.
I feel a piece inside of me die
and knowing this breaks my heart.
 

  • Current Music
    Until the End by Breaking Benjamin