as the new year comes and i give my humble thanks i hear it the ring of fireworks loud in the air their roar becomes deafening carrying on past the midnight stroke rising like a volley of thunder in the night their spray of colors lights the sky an awing display so the night turns to day in these moments this precious seconds of celebration through the land i hear a cheering voices ringing on the wind and i find i am moved for as the shadows of night chase away the sun so too does the Spirit chase off the darkness love and hope run free in this the beginning of a new year not just a restart of time; for some but of life and as the din dies down i am smiling for surely there is no truer testament of will then the obvious joy we find in these simple moments then in the precious seconds of our celebration of a new year and a new time and our continued life
would that i could show you now the pain you caused in me would that i could make you feel just how you made me bleed and as you walked away i longed to call you back though your love was a poison losing it still made me crack i wallowed in that sorrow drowning in my tears because i always remembered you promised to the be the shield against my fears i never felt such hurt before and i never will again because the part of me that loved you was taken with you then and i can never love another that way that i did you with all of my heart and all of my soul i will never feel a bond that true and though i rue the hold you have on me with a rage born of despair i know i'd rather die a thousand times then to have never had you there
my head is in my hands my love i just don't understand these tears trail down my cheek my love i'm broken down inside these words you spout hurt my love and make me wonder why and a sorrow weighs upon my soul my love to cause the burning in my eyes i wrack my mind for answers love that elude me every time and when i ponder them to you my love you just don't understand how can you be so blind my love as to miss these fatal words that skewer my inside my love and make me want to cry i try to hide my pain my love but it spills over in a tide my head is in my hands my love I've broken down and cried
my heart aches tonight i feel the weight upon my chest of the thousand memories in my head causing my duress eyes burn with unshed tears as i think of you and me and feel my heart break again because my head wont let it be i wont deny i love you after all you put me through and though many years have passed i admit that i still do i can see your smile every time i close my eyes hear the timber of your voice on the most silent of the nights im a thousand miles away but still i catch your sent and every time i do i feel my heart lament in my dreams sometimes you're there a haunting memory of what we had and how we loved that now can never be
heavy with sorrow my heart beats slow and i keep it inside because i just know im honoring your wishes im keeping my vow even though every fiber yearns to reach out now i know that you wont welcome even my shared sorrow in your grief so i'll send my prayers your way on the wings of the wind and hope you feel their strength and that they help you mend
i breathe afraid to close my eyes afraid of what lies the inky blacks fills there are faces in me faces i see yet they are not mine some in hate some in pain in this world the darkness prevails vile tainted corrupt there are stages of night some are good some are not in these shadows i see greed perverse it hardens the heart brings despair to the soul as though half in light cry out for a savior in the night on a whispered breath of wind it flows a wish in the ever twilight and in that darkness a small child hears it she knows not where it comes from she knows not where to go but they whisper in her head a love a devotion pledges of service bound in honor tied with care if only she would find them there in her stillness they find anger unable to hear what she hears she breathes afraid to close her eyes there are faces in the inky blackness they are not hers of those in love and those in hate and in the ever darkness they wait for her
be still my beating heart and maybe that will stop my pain be quiet in your yearning that flows like endless rain the weight of choices press me down a stone upon my heart and tear in two the bonds of love with a coldly practiced art and i wonder now as i have for time who you are striving for as you make decisions without a qualm and never ask me what i think as you move as though unclaimed and thus push me to the brink our love you act as if its binding a chafe upon you're goals instead of the inner strength meant to push you where you go how can you say you love me when you pull away at every turn when i reach out to comfort you and you act as though it burns
an aching void fills me a hollow that I cannot fill it creeps into my despairing heart and lingers a decided chill I'd hoped and prayed my dreams come true that they were realized in the love of you more fool I think was I that way for all that hope now seems in vain and pain looms now within the night weary and drained not wanting to fight I curse my heart which brings me pain and the foolish hope that is now my shame
silently she wipes the blood away the back of her hand stained It glared at her with hatred a dark malice in It's burning eyes a smile curls her mouth she taunts It in her pain and upward raises It's arm to strike her down again chin raised to the sight she meets the attack defiance in her eyes the steel of courage in her back each blow is harder fueled by fury in her name growing as she rises time and time again in desperation It strikes seeking weakness in her strain not realizing in It's fury that she's guided by the pain it matters not It's power or the might behind It's blows for the depth of her great strength only she truly knows
i walk a path in my mind filled with memories feeling the hot weight of tears slide down my cheeks i am not lost in grief nor swimming in joy i am weaving through the combination of both my eyes are level a keen observer to these images my chin up not in challenge but in pride i am tossed in this sea of emotions trapped in this ocean of past remembering those who have hurt me those i have loved those who have held me those who have who have come and those who have gone i am not perfect my hearts aches and my mind wonders i forgive those who have caused me pain not for there peace but for mine we cannot move forward while locked in the past we cannot be more when we want it to last judge me as you will i cannot change your mind but remember each scar was carved by a hand not solely mine
sad