But not really, though. I bartend at TGIF and apparently we, as a corporation, single-handedly ruined a 1-year old's birthday as per our corporate guidelines.
My Fellow Bartender was taking care of a table consisting of a couple and their 1-year old. They mentioned it was the kid's first birthday, and at the end of the meal, FB brought out a little ice cream sundae, looked the wee child in the eye and sincerely wished the little man a happy birthday, and many more.
The parents pitched a fit. They demanded to know why there wasn't a big song/dance/cheer number put on by the staff, why there wasn't a candle in the ice cream, why it was "just" ice cream, etc... FB apologized, said that here at TGIF our gift to birthday folk is a sundae and not-embarrassing the birthday person with a big production. He could sing with them, if they wished to, though! They accused him of being lazy, of blowing them off because the birthday boy was just a baby and wouldn't care (which, isn't that a great argument for why they shouldn't have cared either?), and shoved the now-melting sundae back into his hands and told him to "fix your attitude and do your fucking job right".
So FB went and wiped ice cream off his shirt and had a manager go to the table. Manager listened to their grievance, apologized for the apparent misunderstanding, and explained that due to an overwhelming number of complaints about the "have all the servers ignore their tables to scream and clap and cause a commotion" style birthdays over the years, our policy over the last year or so has just been to celebrate with a complimentary sundae and warm well wishes. The couple let him know how fucking ridiculous that policy is, listed the myriad chain restaurants that "do birthdays right", and told Manager that we're going to go out of business really soon if we don't wake up and treat our customers like human beings.
Fortunately, they paid and left soon after, I'm assuming because my manager gave them their bill with his apologies that we couldn't meet their expectations
I had just gone on my fifteen minute break. I got my purse, went downstairs, got a sandwich and proceeded to queue. It was busy because it's Saturday and there was only one cashier on. He was also new. I told him to ring his bell. In the meantime, the queue got bigger and bigger and the new guy made a small mistake. He asked me how to correct it but I told him that he'd need a supervisor for that kind of mistake. As usual, queue was getting bigger.
My manager came and jumped on the till next to the new guys. He served some people, then it was my turn. But when I went to place my sandwich onto the counter, the woman behind me swiped it away and placed this huge basket onto the counter saying "I'm next!" I turned to her and said, "Excuse me, but I was before you."
"Oh I'm soooooo soooorry!" she sarcastically said. She rolled her eyes at me and wouldn't move her basket from the counter. I lost my temper and said, "You've jumped the queue! I was waiting to be served before you, and I've only got a sandwich!"
Cue her yelling that the staff at this shop are rude and disrespectful to their customers. I told her that I was a customer too and she chimed back saying that because I work here I should let the actual customers go first.
FUCK YOU. And lol 'actual customers'. Because I work at the store I'm not actually a customer didn't you know?!
My manager caved and said, "Charuby, calm down! Take your sandwich now, you can pay for it later."
I turned to the woman and said to her, "I'm on a fifteen minute break here, just so you know." and walked off. Because fuck her if she thinks she can push in front of me with a big basket of stuff and get away with it, just because I work here. I'm on a break, I'm not inclined to be falsely nice to you just because you're an 'actual customer'. This is my personal time right now, and I have EVERY right to defend myself.
EDIT: Forgot to add: I've finished now, for two weeks! No more shitty customers for two whole weeks. I am overjoyed!
I'm sorry, but I have to vent, or I'mma gonna scream at this point.
I work front desk for a hotel, and we have the usual loyalty card. The Smiths are base level rewards members, but by god, you'd think they're super-vibranium-adamantium-alloy-level, by the way they carry on. Our biggest peeve is that the girl will take a Big Gulp Cup from a gas station and barge into our kitchen area, and just help herself to whatever, and rummage in the fridge. Seeing they came in last night, our manager locked the kitchen.
Needless to say, Mrs Smith came down, and rattled the handle, and then flipped out because the door was locked. I said that due to unauthorized access, we've had to lock it, and whoo boy, apparently that was the wrong thing to say. "I'm a REWARDS MEMBER, I DESERVE my JUICE!"
"Ma'am, I'm sorry, but the kitchen is now locked. The health inspector would shut us down if she saw non-kitchen staff using unapproved containers such as the cup you're holding in our kitchen."
"My husband's a diabetic, he NEEDS his JUICE!"
I explained that the vending machine carries non-diet drinks, and that there's sugared items in the other vending machine, but no. "Are you stupid? Diabetics have to have ORANGE JUICE!!! Are you trying to KILL him?!"
"Well, each individual is different. My grandmother had diabetes, and she found that the higher sugar amount in non-diet sodas raised her blood sugar better. If the orange juice is a requirement," (at this point she started smirking), "there is a 24-hour Hellmart down the road, and just across the parking lot is a 24 hour pharmacy, right there at the intersection of Healthy and Happy. Both of them will carry orange juice."
She's furious and pissed, but seriously? I don't know where that cup has been, and if she asked nicely, like others have, I'd happily help her. But she's a chronic problem with just waltzing into the kitchen to grab whatever she feels like. *headdesk* Our manager is getting very frustrated with this problem, and he's seriously contemplating fully locking the kitchen so nobody can get in there without management being on the property. Which is going to be fun, explaining either to guests that I'm sorry, there's no way I can make you fresh coffee at 3 am, or explaining to my manager that I need the kitchen unlocked at 3 am to brew a pot of coffee for the truckers.
Sorry, just had to rant a bit.
Edit: Turns out her rattled on the door and pushing at it jammed it up... I had to call the maintenance guy out at 4:30 this morning to take the handle off the door and re-install it. She did not get anything out of the vending machines, and has not left the room again.
Refresher: Green Apron barista, college town in the Grand Canyon State, bar district.
Today I had one of our regulars come in, saying she was getting a drink then going to go hang out with friends and watch the meteor shower. She was totally pleasant, as usual! At one point she mentioned that some creeper had been following her friends, so she had her pepper spray ready; I told her I hope she's safe tonight.
Cut to the next two customers, her friends. She'd went to the restroom or something, and as I was serving them, some man behind them in line said he liked one girl's shirt. It was a little strange since it was pretty much a plain women's t-shirt, but I didn't think anything of it... until he KEPT GOING. I lost track of what he was saying, but he edged closer to them and he seemed like he was almost definitely on something. When they left, he turned to watch them, and so I told him "Hey, sir, I'm sorry, but I can't have you in here if you're going to harass my customers."
Cue the next part of the suck: he asks for a water cup. Our location, due to the high presence of transients that drive customers away, has a policy of water cups for only customers. Because we're in a desert, it gets hot, and there's a pervasive rumour that it's illegal to refuse water to someone as a result.
Naturally, I refuse him the water and tell him there's a water fountain down the street, that waters are for customers only... and the man behind him in line says "No, water is for everyone."
Hoo boy.
Of course, I'm polite, and I tell him that that's not the case, that in our location water is for customers only. The man gets irritated and tells me "No, here, water is for everyone. It's the law."
All I can say is "I'm sorry, sir, but that's not the case." He tried to argue with me, at which point I tell him we've spoken with the police about it and my coworker also tells him we've looked (I've literally ctrl+f'd on every water law I can find for the state!), and during this exchange, the creeper-man disappeared so the point was moot.
Naturally, when my coworker asks what we could get him, the first thing out of his mouth? "A water."
We were livid, and you could tell my coworker was angry when he asked if he was going to order something. The woman he was with was perfectly pleasant, asked for a hot chocolate, and told me she hopes my night got better, but man. I explained to them why we had to curb the free waters, and both my coworkers said they wouldn't even have bothered being so polite by that point.
I don't get what it is about water that makes people get belligerent.
Guests, when I start making announcements a half hour out that the mall will be closing and the gate will be dropping at six, PAY SOME FREAKIN' ATTENTION, WOULD YA? I clearly state that you have X amount of minutes to exit through the mall gate, that it WILL come down at a specific time (and after that you'll have to leave through our main entrance which will be open for another hour), and no, I won't reopen it no matter how hardcore of a tantrum you throw at me. Yes, our anchor store stays open for another hour; I included that in the announcements. No, you cannot re-enter the mall after hours; the doors are fire-locked and you'll have to wait for someone to exit and catch the open door that way. Yes, I did make a fifteen minute announcement... twenty minutes ago. No, I am not reopening the gate and pissing off security and mall management. Yes, you'll have to walk to your car along the perimeter of the building. No, I'm not calling security to chauffeur your lazy ass around the corner. You have a cell phone that has the time on it; it is not my responsibility to time-keep for you. I believe I was fairly clear when I used the PA system and said that if you entered our store through our mall entrance that you should please finalize your purchases and head to the registers at this time so we may get you through the checkout and headed safely to your car. Did you think I was just yanking your chain? Yeah, you did hear a chain. The one that controls the overhead gate that I lowered at six. Gee, it's six fifteen and you're parked on the other side of the building? Enjoy the walk; it's a lovely day outside. Oh, we're in a "bad" neighborhood and you're afraid of being outside? Perhaps you should remember this next time you decide to go out craft shopping at the last minute.
Also, when I get back on the PA and tell you in my cute, perky tones that it's now 6:45 and we'll be closing up shop in fifteen minutes, I'm pretty sure at no point did I say that this was just a suggestive time. Dinking around until fifteen after the hour and then arguing prices and haggling until 7:30 was not part of the closing spiel. We have a store to put back together (boy howdy did we) and payroll to manage. If you and your husband cannot decide on which shade of dusty blue best goes with your beige couch in the three hours you've been wandering around, you're not going to have an epiphany once we've closed. Go home.
It's days like this that I really wish I knew how to hack into our Muzak system, because at closing time I'd have treated everyone to a rousing round of "Bugger Off" by The Real McKenzies. Seriously, I've had it stuck in my head since about 6:55 this evening. And this is only day one of our Daf... wait. Our "Marigold Marathon" sale. *snerk, giggle* I shudder to think what fresh hells await us upon the morrow.
Thanks for listening; I now return you to your regularly scheduled journal-surfing. :)
Commercial insurance flunky.
I took a phone call from somebody last week. The following is what I said in my head:
Oh, hello sir. Calling for my boss again, so you can argue with her how you shouldn't have to pay fees and taxes and other "extraneous bullshit" on your policies because you're an excellent driver* with sterling credit**?
Well, I'm sorry you find her being out of the office "inconvenient". I'll be sure to tell her you were put off by her taking a week to get her mother's affairs settled and make sure Mama's comfortable in her new home. That'll go over just swell. Especially seeing what else you find "inconvenient" - paying bills on time, responding to phone messages in a prompt manner, being a civil human being...
What's that? If you don't get a call in 24 hours, you'll call another agent?
...
Pardon my silence, sir. It's just been a while since I've been threatened with a good time. And frankly, BossLady doesn't make enough commission out of you to warrant giving her cell phone number to you. I hope whoever you go with is more willing to tolerate your sense of entitlement.
Good day.
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*-We run MVRs. We know how "excellent" people's driving records tend to be.
**-Ditto credit checks. Plus, when you're in constant "pending cancellation" status, it doesn't speak well for you.
