connielane, posts by tag: snarkle - LiveJournal

There's a chance this is Photoshopped, but ... I don't see what difference it makes. It's still part of the Twilight canon and as much as it horrifies me that they'd film this element, I'd be even more shocked if they left it out (especially with *ROLLS EYES MADLY* two films).

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That's it. Someone needs to filk this song IMMEDIATELY. It's appropriate in SO MANY WAYS (even the abs)!

For those of you who don't dare set foot in a theater to see the new Twilight movie, here it is in LOLcat form!

That never-changing picture of Bella will never stop cracking me up. Nor will Volturi!Cats.

From Drew McWeeny of HitFix.com Not quite as mean as Devin's review on CHUD.com, but even more hard-hitting, because he gets down to the heart of the matter. Everyone was thinking this would be the guy-friendly chapter - they got David Slade, for crying out loud, who directed 30 Days of Night and Hard Candy. But it does not matter how much talent you throw at this series; the problem is the source material.

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I hope this doesn't turn into another round of misogynistic scab-picking like the response to New Moon did. I do think reviewers tend to cherry pick which movies they're really interested in examining the underlying themes of, and Drew is rather notoriously unforgiving when he doesn't like something. But I'm glad a dude has picked up on the bad female role model vibe.

A real trailer this time, one that is actually going to be in theaters. Speaking of which, it is going to be attached to prints of the new Sparkle Movie. I'd say that was a shrewd move by Summit Entertainment, in hopes of luring Potterfen to see their movie. But LOL, everyone knows that nobody goes to movies to see trailers for other movies anymore. That is so ten years ago.

Which is why the brilliant folks at WB are releasing it online Monday evening (and promoting the hell out of that fact to all the fansites). :D

In other semi-related news, have you guys seen this? Some of these sad human beings have traveled thousands of miles to do this. WHY??? They're not even going to get to see the movie. They may not even see the stars. Listen Twi-hards - I've done this for Harry Potter (though only for half a day, not FOUR DAYS) and while the wait and the hanging out with fans is an immense amount of fun, the actual time spent trying to get a glimpse of your favorite cast members, amid thousands of other people trying to do the same ... not so much. And - I never thought I'd say this - HP fans are MUCH LESS WITH THE CRAZY. Can you imagine the pandemonium Thursday? *buys popcorn*

Screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg was asked about how the movie will deal with the more, ah, graphic elements of the final Twi-book, and her answer could not be more disappointing:

The LA Times talked with Rosenberg about the most buzzed-about challenges in the book and she's given a little nugget about how she's tackling the screenplays, which are still in the works. [Spoiler Alert] When asked about the book's scenes of Bella losing her virginity and giving birth in the most bloody way possible, Rosenberg said: "On the fan site, on Facebook, all the comments are 'It has to be R rated! You have to show the childbirth! Gore and guts and sex!' For me it's actually more interesting to not see it. You know, you can do childbirth without seeing childbirth ... it doesn't mean it's any less evocative of an experience."

WHAT?! No freak show? *cries*

Bill Condon...

* Made directorial debut with horror film Candyman: Farewell to the Flesh

* Directed and won Academy Award for writing Gods and Monsters, about legendary horror director James Whale

* Wrote screenplay for Best Picture winner in 2002, Chicago

* Wrote and directed Kinsey, about the controversial sex researcher of the same name

* Wrote and directed film adaptation of Dreamgirls (which played at BNAT 8, after which he appeared and graciously answered our questions)

* Produced and did a good bit of writing for the 81st Academy Awards ceremony (the Slumdog and Hugh Jackman year)

* Is officially directing the train wreck of Twilight: Breaking Dawn


What kind of blackmail is Summit holding over your head, sir?!

I was all ready to rip on the new 'Eclipse' trailer and make my own snarky response video, but aside from some hilariously bad effects and Jasper's femme hairdo, it's actually not that terrible.

Of course ... it makes the film not look like a Twilight movie, which may be the explanation for lack of crappiness. There's barely any Bella/Edward/Jacob stuff at all, and a lot of battle stuff that I'm pretty sure is not in the book (Eclipse, that is; I'm guessing this is what Smeyer gave them from the new one coming out).

Nuttymadam's response is entertaining as usual (her wolf impression is GOLD).

1 ) As I was getting onto the New Jersey Turnpike last night, the last leg of my drive from Nashville back home, it occurred to me that getting to the island of Manhattan by car is like getting to the "Lost" island. You have to be in just the right lanes and have just the right bearings, and if you're not, you will not get to the island. There might also be considerable time loss. If I weren't returning my GPS with the rental car today, I would totally name it Daniel Faraday. Or Frank Lapidus, but more likely Daniel Faraday.


2) As I ponder the latest Twilight news and the time comes closer for me to actually start caring about American Idol, I can't help thinking that Twilight is a lot like former AI finalist Sanjaya. Nothing of quality to speak of, but immensely appealing (for some reason) to a large number of young girls and even grown women. And a whole lot of the attention it gets is from people who can't really stand it and think it's hilarious to parody it and puff it up into something it's not (like all those people who voted for Sanjaya as a joke). Meaning that it has popularity in its own right, but much of its notoriety also comes from the people who don't like it.


Crying Sanjaya Fangirl poignantly sums up my feelings about driving on the NJ Turnpike,
as well as my frustration with the Black Plague of Sparkle.

He'd been on the shortlist, but now there are apparently negotiations going on for Academy Award winner Bill Condon to direct Breaking Dawn. It's supposed to begin shooting this fall, which means his Richard Pryor biopic and another project are going on the backburner while he spends over a year of his life trying to make a film out of that mess.

Condon won an Oscar for his outstanding film Gods and Monsters, so there's a chance - if he were to be given complete control, including rewriting or at least participating in the script - that this could be the cracktastic, self-aware send-off this series truly deserves.

That's me looking on the bright side, though. I'm still kind of depressed.

So, remember back when it was announced that Breaking Dawn would be two films and that they were seeking "high-end" directors for it? Well, there's already been some backtracking on the two-movie thing, as the actors have not signed anything and still don't know for sure if it will be one movie or two.

I had a little fun a while back guessing what kind of directors they might be thinking about, and as hilarious as it might be to imagine a Coen Brothers version of the Sparkleverse, the producers don't seem to be going in quite that direction. They're definitely thinking high-end, though - as in Oscar-nominated/winning. Here's who they've put feelers out to:

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Of course, none of these names are even in the "talks" stages - this is just who the studio is "reaching out" to. Suffice it to say, though, that I would be very surprised to hear that any of these three were going to take the Twilight job. But more than that, I would just be deeply (DEEPLY) disappointed. Aim lower, Summit. Or go for broke to get Cronenberg, if you're so hot for a real filmmaker.