We all have responsibilities // we all have a social dept // and if there is a man free of guilt // I haven't met him yet //so now you're backed in the corner // you're under verbal attack // they're pointing fingers like guns in your face and // nobody got your back // you got to blame somebody for all your fucking mistakes // so someone else will pay for all the bad choices you make // and you should take responsibility for what you do // but you just point your fingers at somebody innocent and say // "now I don't feel so fucking good...// no I don't feel so fucking good // I need somebody to blame!" // got blame // so one day somebody asks you how you feel // and instead of telling the truth you reel off a list of things you think they want to hear // because it's easier that way and so they treat you like this completely different person // because all they know about you is misinformation // and you gradually detach yourself from all your actions, thinking // "Oh I don't know why I don't mean what I say! // I don't know why I don't feel what I say..." You have been lying about your feelings for so long // you have forgotten who you are // You got to blame somebody for all your fucking mistakes // so someone else will pay for all the bad choices you make // and it is all your fault that you feel angry like you do // but you cannot admit and you're stuck thinking // "now I don't feel so fucking good...// no I don't feel so fucking good // I need somebody to blame.... // Yeah blame.
OH SO AMAZING REUBEN!!! JAMIE LENMAN IS A LYRICAL GENIUS!!
01. I _____ Laura. 02. Laura is _____. 03. Laura needs _____. 04. I want to ____ Laura. 05. Laura can ____ my ____. 06. Someday Laura will _____. 07. Laura reminds me of _____. 08. Without Laura it would be _____. 09. Laura can be _____. 10. Meeting Laura was/would be _____. 11. Worst thing about Laura is _____. 12. Best thing about Laura is _____. 13. I am _____ Laura. 14. I think Laura should _____. 15. Laura would be better off _____. 16. I have seen Laura _____. 17. Laura _____. 18. Laura likes your _____. 19. I'd love to _____ Laura _____. 20. Laura in a _____ would be _____.
I love lunchtimes :o), they are so cool now. I used to just sit here in my little portakabin and eat in here.
The park is a hell load better epesially because of the company. It rules!! I am starting to really crush on someone... I think he is awesome. So cute and handsome. :oP
Trust me he is a dude... the dude. A new smoking partner... great stuff.
I feel really nervous when I'm around him and talk random shite all the time... wonder if that will scare him off? Well my face didn't so he must think 'I'm not that bad' He's so cool. hmmm :o) he will realise that I'm a twat soon enough, I hope not though!
I walked half way home with him last night... I like doing that :o) Sitting on the park with a J and then taking a slow walk up the road.
Trivium is gonna be awesome! Hurrah.! I'm not even going on my own anymore so should be even more fun with a car full of crazy ass people!
I know that he is rather shy... but so am I when it comes to new situations shy / nervous/ embarrassed, it makes me act like such an idiot... So will there ever be a first kiss? I hope so.
Love of mine someday you will die but i'll be close behind and i'll follow you into the dark no blinding light or tunnels to gates of white just our hands clasped so tight waiting for the hint of a spark but if heaven and hell decide that they are both satisfied and illuminate the NO's on their vacancy signs if there's no one beside you when your soul embarks then I'll follow you into the dark In catholic school as vicious as Roman rule I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black and I held my tongue as she told me 'son, fear is in the heart of love' so i never went back you and me we've seen everything to see from Bangkok to Calgary and the soles of your shoes are all wore down the time for sleep is now but it's nothing to cry about 'cause we'll hold each other soon in the blackest of rooms.
You say it's not going to work out why do you have to tell me now is there a difference in anything you've said or done or is it just the way we've been pretending
I'm leaving
do me a favour don't even think of me now just when you thought it was over it had only just begun
I'm not going to let this tear me apart she's not my only reason he's not my only reason she said you're a weakness to me you should have sent me a note or wrote me a letter
I wish it was how i planned everything will work out you said I hated you if only it were true you should have said that he'd be happy now.
Is there any point in pretending that we still have something? You don't want anything with me. I know 'you can't handle it' so what if I don't get better. I am not waiting for you just as I know that you won't wait for me.
ASDA SALAD BAR RAWKS.... sqeeze as much as you can in a tub because they try so hard to rip you off... oh and be v.careful not to put the red pasta near the pasta with sweetcorn... rank mix!
BEASTIE BOYS.... hmm they like invented hip-hop/ rock... the man.. the men and Kate back in the day! Where did Kate go anyways? Why did she leave? was Beastie life too hardcore for her?
BLOOD SAMPLES.... strange one really. I just like it.. heh, it's so relieving.. like indicators on cars!! arrrggghhhh
BURPS.... I love when people burp and when I do... the bigger the better. Burp if you wanna impress me.. it makes me absolutely piss in my pants!! :o)
DO ME BAD THINGS.... don't really listen to these much anymore. Good band.. different, I don't think they have decided which genre to go for but hey good live..
FARTING.... again I find farting so humerous... Fart if you wanna make me smile and laugh.. I like Richards farts they are real stinky.. whooo! like something crawled up his bum holeio and died up there... heh (sorry Rich but you know it's true) my farts however are very very lady like :oP
FUNERAL FOR A FRIEND.... okay so what is not to love? Emo, Matt Davies, Good music, good lyrics, great riffs, great drumming.... hah and Matt Davies that cool emo kid he needs someone sat on his willy... big time.. heh.. check me being all cheat... ah well he is famous and he is COMPLETELY GORGEOUS so I think it's so okay with me saying that I want to be impailed by his love spike. heh (is that right Rich?)
IRON MAIDEN.... classic. Everyone likes a bit of maiden.
MARTIN GRECH.... Smashing Pumpkins. Legend.
MOVIES.... okay I love chilling out at home with a dooby and a film.. I could happily just watch movies ALL DAY LONG. It doesn't get boring unless you have seen them all ;o)
RIVER PEOPLE... incase you are wondering... what are River people... they live on barges.. Richard and I found where they live and I am currently learning the River Language and dress code... heh. RRrrrrrrIIIIVEeeeer! *waves are uncontorllably)
SEX.... yes, I like sex, kissing, cuddling, steamy, hot, close, touchy touchy, skin on skin, panting, rocking, bouncing, moving, riding, bum, shlong, fairy, back, neck, hair.... grrr! everything is so, so good. :o) (with you x)
SNOW.... I like snow, I wish there was more of it though. Snowmen, snowball fights, days off work / school, scarves, hats, big coats, wellies... ahhhh I like it lots!!
So the weekend was fun. I love spending time with Richard when he likes me. :o) I think he liked me this weekend because he was super nice to me when I was sad and stuff.
I love you Richard thank you for being there for me... It means even more than you know because I know you stop seeing your mates to spend time with me.
I can't wait till next Saturday at Rock city.. wait till SOAD comeson or FFAF... I'm gonna OWN the dancefloor just watch!
I posted back to Daz... I think I was rather good! It took me ages to think of the right words to say without making out that I'm a huge mega bitch on a power drive. Alothough those who know me well enough know that I can be... heh.
Richard god damn you... god damn you!! I have not been in this situation since I was like 14. Its hard to carry on with things when you don't even know whats going to happen... where things are going to lead. I knew where they were heading when we were with each other... I knew you would finish with me because of my 'problems' but now I feel in my head and heart that you won't ever get back with me because I am infact a wreck, you know it just as much as I do.
You will always be there for me. that at least gives me a little hope. I know that you won't let me down.. I know that you care... I know that you try to help me.
Thank you. Have I ever said that to you? Thank you so much for being there. I cannot even begin to explain how much you have helped me. I know that to you... it probs seems like you haven't done much, but just sitting there and listening to me and cuddling me and wiping my tears away when I have been sad... thats more than anyone has ever done for me. Thank you.
I will call you when I'm walking to the shop later my little fruit tree. The choices I was on about can wait. You make a choice when you are ready.. I know whatever choice you make that it will be the right one. Plus you know that I will be there for you just as much as you have always been there for me.
xxxx sorry about the soppiness of this post people... somethings just needed to be said! :o)
no one wants me. no one. I try so hard... maybe even too hard but no matter what I do it is never good enough. So fuck it. What is the point in trying anymore. I'm obviously destined to be alone. I must be such a horrible person.. but I accept that.
there was some horible things that I wrote about someone... but I didn't mean it... i was angry.
giddy
bored
ditzy
angry