zforce

The 4th of July was a nasty heat wave. I love summer, but sometimes it's too hot even for me. When it's over 95 degrees I will start grumbling about the heat. We were over 100 from Thursday through Saturday. Well, actually I think it might have gone down to the low 90s on Saturday. It was super humid though. I had a three-day weekend and hardly did any riding. Kevin and I just went to the barn and hosed the horses off. I managed to ride on Sunday, which was humid and in the 80s.

I made it to the pool on Thursday, Friday, and Sunday as well. I should have gone on Saturday, but since the fireworks were in town that night, the whole world would be using up all the public parking. I would lose my space if I left it. At first Kevin offered to let me use his car. He seemed tentative about it, and I said if he didn't want me taking it to just spit it out and say so. He said he wanted me to go swimming so he wanted me to have his car. Five minutes later I told Mom I was coming over and then he changed his mind again. I ended up staying home all evening. I was pretty pissed at him for a while. It wasn't about the swimming as much as it was about him being so wishy-washy. He can be that way sometimes. He makes me think I can have something or do something and I start to look forward to it, and then he changes his mind. Then he sees I'm upset and changes his mind again, but I usually can't bring myself to do what I really want to do because he already let me know it's not what he wants and I am going to feel guilty if I know he's so reluctant. (<---Major run-on sentence)

Anyway, the weather turned on a dime with a storm on Sunday night and we had rain and chilly weather for the past two days. It was in the low 70s yesterday and Monday. I didn't dress for the weather at all and I was freezing every time I went outside. My problem is I plan my outfits way in advance and in July I expect July weather and plan for July outfits. I don't always have time to think of something new to wear, so I wear the kind of outfit I normally think is fine for July and I freeze.

Today it's sunny and 85. It's a perfect summer day. I'm glad I am working from home today and I am not very busy so I can get outside a bit more.

The recruiter from last week ghosted me. Two hours before our call she sent me an InMail saying the company was full-time onsite in Chinatown and that might not align with my needs since I live in Westchester. Was I was sure I wanted to proceed with the application? I told her I would like to know more about the job before making that decision. I didn't see the email until right before our call was supposed to take place. I asked her if we would still have our call. She didn't call. She said to send her my resume. (Didn't she see what my qualifications were on my LinkedIn profile? That's why she said she reached out in the first place.) I did that and never heard from her again. I messaged her today asking if she changed her mind about my suitability for the job and if we were not going to reschedule our call. I know she won't respond, but I feel as if she should know what she did was crappy. She's the second recruiter to ghost me after I said I was interested in the job.

My manager at my job recently resigned and the position is open, so I decided to apply for it. I won't get it. I have not been given many leadership opportunities at my job and they would prefer someone UK-based anyway, but I figured it couldn't hurt to at least let the company know that after 14 years I deserve more opportunities. I want to make myself more visible.

A Midsummer Night's Dream opens on Thursday night. Mom and I will see it on Saturday. We will picnic on the Lyndhurst grounds before the show. I am hoping for good weather. I probably won't make it to the barn that day, so I am glad I had the extra day last weekend even if I didn't ride.

I finished up my last lesson series with Tara on Sunday. I decided not to buy another series until after vacation. I need the $300 for the trip. After I made that decision I felt much more relaxed about money and about vacation.

Glad this week is halfway over. I'm really looking forward to all the fun in store for next week. I hope it doesn't disappoint.

We welcome the month of July today - my favorite month of the year - with some major summer weather. It will be 100 or close to it tomorrow and in the 90s today and most of the rest of the week. I hope to make it to the pool often in the next few days.

We won't be attending any festivities this weekend. We were invited to one party, but Kevin wanted to have a quiet weekend. Things will get busy enough when MSND opens next week. We can see the fireworks from the plaza behind our building, so we will set up chairs out there on Saturday with a bottle of wine and maybe pop some popcorn. Despite the heat, I bought some cherries to make a pie. I can't resist making cherry pies this time of year when the cherries are in season and at the farm market. Turn on the AC and get to work!

Kevin had a bit of a health scare this week. He kept having all that pain and it sent him to the ER two weeks ago, so he had an appointment with his urologist who has been treating some minor prostate issues he has been having. The doctor suggested a bladder cancer screening that involved a very painful catheter scope. The good news is he doesn't have cancer. The bad news is his prostate lobes are wrapped around each other and need surgery to correct. He won't be able to do that until October after our Maine trip. I hope he doesn't have too much pain to enjoy either of our vacations. He will need six weeks of recovery, so he won't be doing any theater for a while.

I'm looking forward to our Maine trip, but I wish we were doing something more extravagant and going abroad for our 25th anniversary. Kevin is so afraid to fly out of the country now. Is it really that bad? Here on Dreamwidth my friends are always talking about their trips abroad. I see photos of European vacations constantly on Facebook. Why does Kevin think we are the ones who will be targeted by hostile foreigners or be denied re-entry into the US? Maybe if Congress improves this year we can do something abroad next year? It's not as if the Maine trip isn't extravagant. We thought it might be cheaper to stay stateside. The Nathab tour is $17K for the two of us without airfare. Driving there wouldn't be out of the question if we were staying in one place, but we are moving around to three different hotels/inns. Unless there was a safe place to park the car for the week in Bangor, it makes sense to fly. At least flying to Bangor from NY is easy.

In other news I have a job interview today. It's for a CSM position with some kind of AI firm. A recruiter reached out to me about it. The good side is the pay is market value. We're talking a good $30K more than what I currently make. The downside is it's full-time onsite. If it's in the city, my schedule and my life will change dramatically. At my current job I am supposed to be in the office four days a week, but given my crap pay, my manager gives me permission to WFH for play rehearsal days. Even if I don't WFH, my office is across the street from Grand Central. I leave at 5, take the 5:18 train home, and I'm home by 6PM. If I have a 7PM rehearsal in Stamford or Nyack, it can be tight and stressful, but it's doable. What if this new office is far downtown (or uptown) and I have to add another 30 minute subway commute or I have to work later? That's the end of doing theater anywhere outside the county. Anthony better start casting me in more Harrison shows! Cross that bridge when I come to it. The extra money can create more convenience in other ways. Plus it will enable me to save my own money to book more of those bucket list vacations.

I also worry the AI bubble will burst and this company will be out of business in a few years. Maybe when that happens GlobalData will take me back, but I will have saved enough money that working there won't feel so desperate.

Maybe I should get through the interview and see if they want to hire me first? :-D Bridges need to be crossed when you come to them.

Anyway, July looks like a good month.

This weekend will be swimming, fireworks and cherry pie.

Next week MSND opens.

July 14th Kevin and I will have an early birthday dinner at the Breakfast and Burger Club.
July 15th my theater friends and I will do our karaoke night at Barroom/
July 16th is my actual birthday and Kevin and I will spend the day together in Cold Spring.

July 26th we leave for Chincoteague.

Seems like a good month ahead.

Had another great weekend to kick off the summer and I'm feeling optimistic for now.

Schmigadoon was a hilarious and fun show. I haven't laughed so much in a musical since Book of Mormon. I'm not a big enough theater nerd to get the Broadway references from every song, but I understood enough of them. I could recognize Brigadoon, Oklahoma, Carousel, The Music Man, and The Sound of Music although I didn't correlate every song.

The show was packed. The line to wait to get inside before they opened the house went all the way down the block. Who did I see waiting in line but Nancy, the director of Oliver. She asked me if I was doing any shows now or if I was going to be spending all my time with the horses. I said I would be taking the summer to be with the horses, but I hoped to audition for Oliver in the fall. She cheered! I told her point blank I was planning to to audition because she is directing. I hope I didn't embarrass her too much. I need to go find some YouTube videos of the musical numbers so I can familiarize myself with them.

We celebrated Father's Day on Saturday night since Kevin had a rehearsal on Sunday. I found a restaurant called Harvest Kitchen that was within a mile of Dad's place, but also not anywhere in the theater district so we could have an early dinner and not be crowded out by the pre-theater diners. It also had a menu with food I thought would please everyone. Erik, Janeth, Charles and Gracie joined us. It would turn out to be a good choice. We liked the food and the service. I would go back there. I am still hoping I can persuade Dad to take me to BTK Thai for my birthday though.

Sunday I rode and had a lesson with Tara. Riddle was back to being a real brat (mares!). It was warm enough to swim, so I went to the pool at Mom's. Since it was Father's Day, it wasn't filled with kids and I had the pool practically to myself to swim laps. I took a walk to the harbor at sunset to say goodbye to the longest day.

After December 31st I watch the clock daily to see how much daylight is coming. After June 21st I try to ignore the shrinking days as much as possible until I can't help but notice the sun isn't out at 8 anymore.

We have had so many full weekends recently that Kevin declared a moratorium on weekend activities until his show starts. It starts on July 9th, so that only leaves us with two unplanned weekends. I have no idea if anyone will invite us to any 4th of July parties though.

I know I should do a better job of watching what I eat knowing I have a fattening month coming up. The least I can do is eat well and avoid the junk when it's not vacation or a special occasion. However, I have been snacking too much and going a little crazy when eating out, as well as taking a few extra bites at meals. I need to work on that. On the good side, I am coming along nicely in the gym. I'm starting to add some weight if it doesn't hurt my shoulder or hamstring. Those things can still hurt, but they are definitely better than they were a few months ago. Not sure if the pants will fit by September.

We are going to break with dance class for the summer but we are doing class until the end of the month. I thought when I paid Linda back in May I was paying her for June. No. I was paying her for May and I had to pay her for June. That was money I didn't want to spend. I will have to take more from savings to cover the bills this month.

I have been wanting a new summer dress (I admit I can never have enough of those). I ordered a cute one from Lily Pulitzer and I'm about to send it back because it both fit weird and wasn't great quality. Maybe the universe is telling me something. I finally got off my butt and put the oversized Bombas t-shirts and the oversized blouse from StitchFix on Facebook Marketplace. Selling for $20 each. I already have an offer on the t-shirts. Good to get a little extra cash in there. That means a little cash infusion and a lower credit card bill (unless I find an irresistible dress elsewhere).

I was not cast in Sordid Lives. I have a hard time believing that, but it's the truth.

Kevin pointed something out. Anthony hasn't been precasting his shows lately, but he definitely does what he can to encourage the people he wants to come out for them. I sometimes wondered if I would have been cast if I auditioned for Calendar Girls. Were all those actors that much better and more suitable for the parts than I was? But I noticed when Anthony puts out audition notices on Facebook, he often tags certain people. He signals to the world who he wants in his shows. He did not tag me in any Calendar Girls or Sordid Lives posts. He never envisioned me in any of the roles.

So I will audition for Oliver. I was chatting with a theater friend about it a couple of weeks ago and she suggested I go for the role of Mrs. Sowerberry. I doubt I will get it, but I'll give it a shot. It's always good to aim high so the director can at least hear you read. Maybe Nancy likes me enough to give me the Strawberry Seller or the Rose Seller. There isn't much in the way of adult ensemble in Oliver, so I will have to accept that I might not be on stage much, but that might work in my favor in terms of my schedule. Auditions are not until August. I have to start preparing.

If I had been in Calendar Girls, I would not have been in The Prom and I am so happy to have had that experience even though I spent as much time on stage changing sets as I did performing. Maybe this will be a positive experience as well.

I have a long weekend ahead. I am seeing Schmigadoon on Broadway tomorrow night. I feel as if I should be doing something more for the holiday, but not sure what. I am looking for black-owned businesses to patronize. There are sadly not many restaurants near the theater district that are black owned and Kevin doesn't want to go out of his way for dinner. I was trying to see what is black-owned in my own neighborhood and the only business is a seafood restaurant (and I hate seafood). Kevin wants to go to the barn during the day as well and the area around our barn is total redneck. It's not a place where I feel black-owned businesses will be welcomed. I initially told Mom I would come over and swim tomorrow, but we want to go to the barn since we have to go to the city for Father's Day dinner on Saturday night and we may not be able to come home on time.

With Sunday being the longest day and the official start of summer, I was hoping to have a picnic dinner to watch the sun go down. Unfortunately Kevin has rehearsal.

So this weekend will be a mixed bag of fun, family, and white guilt and I will have to find a fun way celebrate the solstice solo.

What a week this has been!

The Sordid Lives audition was last week. I went on Wednesday and there was a strong contingent of female actors, most of whom are from Anthony's regulars. I read four scenes. I thought two were pretty good and two were kind of mediocre. Anthony knows I can do better, so I think he will make his decisions based on who fits his vision and who plays best with each other. I haven't heard back, so I assume I did not fit his vision or fit well with the other actors. Nobody has called me yet to offer me a role, so I am assuming it's a no. Usually the people who are cast are told right away unless there is a problem with the production.

I wish I could get confirmation. I either want to start working on Sordid Lives or I want to prep for the Oliver audition in August. My friend Liz said I might make a good Mrs. Sowerberry. I think I will audition for that as well as the Strawberry Seller and Rose Seller parts. However, I should be as prepared as possible.

We're planning a karaoke night this week. Jen and Pat may be there. They have to say something before Wednesday, right?

In other miserable news, I am in a dispute right now with Westy's Self Storage. Since Kevin and I have outgrown the space in our condo, I have been renting a storage locker with Westy's for the past ten years or so to handle the overspill of stuff. I have always been a good customer, always paid on time. Since I like to control when the rent comes out of my check, for years I paid the old fashioned way by mail with a paper check. The worst thing that ever happened is I mailed it a little late and my payment was a day late. I could just tell them the check was in the mail and they left me alone. The manager at my facility, Rose, was a sweetheart and always knew I was a good customer.

A couple of years ago, I found out I could have my bank send out the checks directly. I started to do that. No issues.

This weekend I received both a bill and a phone call saying my payment is late and to pay my June rent immediately with a $15 late fee. I checked my bank app. I requested the payment on 5/27 and the check was cashed on 6/1. I talked to the guy from Westy's. He said he saw the payments coming in from my bank every month but May. I asked him repeatedly why the last payment was shown as cleared by my bank on my side and the why the money was gone from my account if it didn't make it to them.

He didn't care that the payment had cleared. He began demanding I pay the rent. I said I wasn't sending him a cent. He said if I didn't want to pay cash/check, he would happily take my credit card. I said I am not sending him any money. The money was sent and the check had cleared. I had the statement from the bank saying so. He suggested that the check was stolen at the post office. Isn't it funny how the post office suddenly decided to find my check and steal it and successfully cash it?

I told him I would pay the money, but it would be the last payment he ever received from me and that I would take my stuff and take it someplace else. He offered to waive the late fee. I said no way. I don't have an extra $231 lying around to spend on an incompetent business. He said he would have his manager call me on Monday. I hope I hear from him. Kevin and I will go to the office directly if we have to today. Unfortunately, Rose left the company a couple of years ago. She would have been more helpful.

I investigated my online statements. I saw the confirmation of the check clearing. Westy’s name is on the endorsement. I printed it up along with the confirmation to take to the office today. This is obviously a clerical error on their part and I’m not paying for it. If they make me pay, I am taking my stuff elsewhere. I chose Westy’s in Port Chester because at the time it was the most convenient location for me. Someone built a new facility right here in Mamaroneck a couple of years ago. I would be happy to move closer to home.

But we had a good weekend otherwise. I rode twice and had good rides despite the heat. I made it to the pool yesterday. The plays we saw were great. I am not even sure I knew The Spitfire Grill was made into a musical, and I admit I never got around to seeing the movie, but we both really enjoyed the musical at Armonk on Friday night. The music was fabulous. Saturday night's presentation of original plays at ACT was great as well. Sometimes original plays can be a bit weak. These were well done.

BUT, we went out to dinner at an upscale Mexican restaurant near the theater on Saturday night. The next morning Kevin found someone had withdrawn $1000 from his account. He thinks someone on the restaurant staff took his debit card info. Fortunately he was able to correct it with his bank, but now he has to wait to be reissued a new debit card.

Not making much progress with my weight loss. Shoulder and hamstring hurt less, but they still hurt. I hated the way I looked in one of my new bathing suits this weekend. I wonder if I will get into those pants before September.

What a weekend!

***************UPDATE*********************

Westy's called me back this morning. It was not the jerk I talked to on Saturday. I told the woman I had all the paperwork showing the check had been sent, cleared, and endorsed by Westy's. I offered to take it into the office and show it to her. I tried to be nice and understanding. I said I know clerical errors happen. It's the downside of business. People mess up. I have made clerical screwups myself. She asked me to just email her the proof so she could examine it. I told her I would do so in an hour because I had some work meetings.

She called while I was in the meetings and left a VM saying the error had been fixed and apologized for the confusion. That's a load off my mind!

I manage to do a better job changing my body comp when I have a goal. I have my goal.

I want to fit into my hiking pants again.

I bought two pairs of hiking pants from REI when we went on our tour of Bryce, Zion, and the Grand Canyon in 2012. I was only in my early forties then. Menopause was in the shadows threatening me, but it hadn't made a full appearance yet. It was two years before my hip surgery and the resulting two decades of near-constant injuries undoing any progress I ever make in the gym. It was the year before I started the Precision Nutrition program, so I wasn't at my leanest though. I'm sure I was under 140 pounds, but doubtful I was under 130 at that point.

I can't wear the pants now. Well, I can wear them, but they look terrible. They are hard to button and they give me cameltoe. I would feel constricted trying to walk around all day in them. A loss of ten pounds could probably do the trick of making them fit.

I could just wear jeans on the trips, but hiking pants are more comfortable. They are lightweight. If I am caught in the rain, they will dry faster than jeans. If it's unexpectedly hot out, I can zip off the legs and they become shorts.

I could buy new pants, but why spend the money if I can make the pants I already have fit? I am overweight anyway and need to lose a few pounds (try 30 actually) so it's a win/win. I know I need to do a better job of dropping these pounds, so now I have motivation to do so.

It hasn't been easy. I am stuck at 144 these days. I'm not trying to do anything special right now. I am cutting the desserts and the weekly pizza and tracking my meals and calories with the Cal AI app. I suppose I should start cutting the bread and pasta too. I think I have been doing well this week with minimizing them, but I suppose I need to cut them more. Then there are all the obstacles in the month of July. I will have both my birthday and vacation. I don't know if anything will happen for the 4th of July either. I have to think that all the indulgence days probably equal to about two weeks of less-than-optimal eating. That's two weeks out of 15 weeks until it's time to leave. I think I can do okay if I manage to stay on track the other twelve weeks. I can lose ten pounds in 12 weeks, right?

I had a butt-kicking workout today. I probalby tweaked my hamstring a bit, but it feels okay now. Still some pain in my shoulder, but it's okay if I avoid certain movements and angles. I was using twenty-pounds dumbbells in some cases with no pain.

One more week until auditions. That will be on the brain for the next few days even more so than my weight.

I see a good summer ahead.

Auditions for Sordid Lives are in two weeks. I was feeling optimistic about them, but now I'm not so sure. This feels like Calendar Girls. There are many good mature female roles and I'm sure many mature women in the theater world will be going out for them. I have a little more confidence now after doing Cahoots though. Anthony saw me in that. He knows I'm capable of playing a strong role. There are really no small parts in Sordid Lives. But that doesn't mean Anthony won't find the other women who audition to be more suitable for the roles. It's not about how capable you are of playing the part. It's about how you suit the director's vision.

If I don't get into Sordid Lives, I have a backup audition. Curtain Call is doing Oliver the same weekend (and two weekends after that). I wouldn't have given doing that show much thought until I found out Nancy, my favorite director, is directing it. Neal, who was in Tootsie with me is the music director and I adore him. The choreographer is Jennifer who was also in Tootsie with me (and was the choreographer for the production of The Addams Family I did in Bedford back in 2019). I would love to work with this crew. In fact, I even considered scrapping the Sordid Lives audition and going out for Oliver.

There are pros and cons for both shows.

Sordid Lives Pros:

1. No small female roles in this show. Even the character who only has one scene has a really juicy scene. If I am cast, I will have something to sink my teeth into.
2. Easy commute. It's a five-minute drive.

Sordid Lives Cons:

1. Harrison Players shows are low budget and a bit amateur-night-looking given the terrible space they have to work in.
2. They only perform one weekend. That's a lot of work for a handful of performances.

Oliver Pros:

1. Nancy and the crew. I love working with them.
2. The more I work with Curtain Call, the more I will be "in" with them and be first in line for casting.
3. Curtain Call productions have a huge budget, their own theater, and are more professional looking.It’s great to be in such top notch shows.
4. Show will run at least three weekends. I get a lot of payoff for the amount of work I do.

Oliver Cons:

1. I will not have a good role. There isn't a main role I can even audition for. I'm not the type for a lead and I don't think I am the type for the supporting roles either. At best I hope for one of the featured ensemble spots.
2. I may never have a strong role with Curtain Call. They attract incredible talent. Even if I become part of their stable of regulars, I will be a regular bit part player.
3. The commute is a pain in the neck and I have to rearrange my entire schedule for rehearsals.
4. hardly any of my friends will want to come. Nobody wants to drive to Stamford. I will do many shows with no friends in the audience.

So I guess I will stick to the plan and do the Sordid Lives audition and only audition for Oliver in August as a backup if I don’t get in.

I wonder how it will go.

It's going to be ninety degrees today. I would give anything for some time at the pool, but it's not open yet. It opens this weekend. As luck would have it, the holiday weekend will be rainy and in the 50s and 60s. I wonder if this weather pattern will continue through June. Right now the long-range forecast says it will rain all weekend and crawl back up to the 80s with actual sunshine. Maybe I will get to the pool on my work from home day.

Kevin has been cast in a production of A Midsummer Night's Dream that a group called M&M Productions is doing on the grounds of Lyndhurst Mansion. They are also doing The Importance of Being Ernest in the fall. He wanted to do the latter, but he was told to go to the MSND audition as well if he wanted to do Earnest (it's like one big general audition). At first he didn't want to do MSND because it would conflict somewhat with our vacation. But then he was thinking about how lost and bored he feels when he doesn't have a show to do. He decided to ask if there were any roles for him. They offered him the triple role of the First Fairy, Snug the joiner, and Peaceblossom. He waffled about taking it, but ultimately decided the experience would be a good way to get exposure and show his stuff for this new group so he will be cast in Earnest. Also, he is paid $40 per performance.

They are performing for three weekends in July. The final performance is the day we leave for vacation, so at the very least, we would have to leave a day later. If they sell a lot of tickets, they show will be held another weekend and Kevin won't be able to go on vacation at all. He is equally conflicted about that. He isn't sure he made the right decision. If Kevin can't come, I'll be stuck all week with Mom and her neediness. I know it would be cheaper if we shared a room, but I am going to hold out for my own room. I told her Kevin might come down for two or three days during the week so I will need the room just in case. Also, our friend/"aunt" Su Mei will be staying with her the last two nights and I think the three of us in a room will be too much.

He also has a performance on my birthday!

The Harrison Players finally decided on their fall show. They are doing Sordid Lives. I know it became a movie and a TV series, but I don't know much about it. I know it has a lot of crazy character roles, so I feel it's up my alley. It's hard to say what Anthony will think though. He rarely gives me good roles in straight plays. I'm hoping after seeing me in Cahoots, he will be reminded of what I am capable of. I mean, he cast me in Pal Joey. He knows I have the characters in me. Auditions are in just a couple of weeks. I don't have much time to prepare. We won't start rehearsals until the fall though.

We finally decided on our big anniversary trip. We are going to Maine with Natural Habitat Adventures. We did their Bryce/Zion/Grand Canyon tour back in 2012 and it was a one-of-a-kind experience. Nathab tours are expensive, but they are topnotch. Adventures during the day, but good food and comfortable accommodations at night. Unusual local experience. Up close and personal with wildlife. I wish we could go somewhere more outrageous and exotic or take one of my bucket list European trips, but Kevin is way too skittish about leaving the country these days. This trip was the best compromise. It was hard to talk him out of Vegas. There was a time I would have wanted to try it, but I hear nothing but terrible things about Vegas these days.

Karaoke night tonight with my theater friends. We haven't had one of our karaoke nights for a few months now. I'm excited.

Another gloomy day hovering in the low 60s. It's not supposed to improve much in the next few days. It will be below 70 with a lot of rainy days in the coming week. Most of the time it won't be out of the 50s. This is May! Can't I have a little May weather? I guess I was spoiled by those hot days in early April. I thought it was a sign of a gentle balmy spring. i want to wear dresses and sandals and not more jeans and sweaters!

We had some bad news over the weekend. Our family friend Arlene died. Just for context, when Kevin was a teen, Arlene and her stepmother Ethel lived down the hall from Kevin and his mother. Ethel's husband was the building super. Ethel and Eleanor became best friends. Kevin doesn't have much in the way of biological relatives in this area, so their family became our family. Ethel, Arlene, and Arlene's husband Richard were a major part of Kevin's life. We spent holidays and family occasions together. We took vacations together. When Ethel and Richard died, Arlene continued to take care of Eleanor and socialize with her as always. Arlene had a major illness following a knee surgery and was in rehab for several months. We had Eleanor's birthday party the rehab center that year so Arlene could celebrate it with us. Arlene introduced us to the staff as her family. That's how close we all were.

After Eleanor's death, Arlene kind of dropped out of our lives. Kevin tried to call her now and then to check in. Sometimes she even called us She sent Christmas cards. On the other hand, she refused any attempt we made to socialize. We invited her to holiday dinners. She always refused. We made the effort. She wasn't interested. She relied heavily on her friends Alicia and Janice. We barely knew these women. Alicia came to the rehab center birthday party. Janice came on the Danube cruise with us and shared a room with my mother in 2018. That's the only time I ever met them (and we went to many parties at Arlene's home in the early days and met many of her friends). These women were not at the funerals of Ethel and Richard. I don't know how she knows them or became so close to them.

Since Arlene's health never fully recovered, she has always had a HHA part time. It's the same one Eleanor used in her last days, so we know her and she stays in touch with us. A few weeks ago she texted Susan to say Arlene wasn't feeling well, so she brought her to the hospital and she was admitted. We had no idea what was wrong with her. HHA told Susan. Susan relayed it to us. The next thing we know Arlene is being released from the hospital and was going home to hospice care. She died two days later. Again, we only found out through the HHA. We have been told there is no funeral (not sure if that's true, especially given that Arlene was an active member of a lodge). Kevin and Susan were both supposed to be backup executors of her estate (with Alicia as the main one) but we found out that Arlene removed Kevin and Susan from this and added Janice instead without telling us. Ironically, Janice and Alicia didn't even know where Richard was buried since Arlene wanted to be buried with him. My family couldn't remember, but Kevin did some investigation and found out for her. I said he shouldn't have done that. If our family is going to be left out of this, I think they can plan the burial and figure it out themselves.

We are trying to figure out why Arlene turned on the family like this and I could only come up with one explanation: Donald Trump. Arlene was becoming more aggressively MAGA over the years. I remember Bob (whom one could never call a liberal, but hates Trump) razzed her about being a Trump voter (he never holds back giving anyone a hard time about anything) and she declared, "And proud of it!" Mom is friends with Janice on Facebook and said her feed is full of angry MAGA posts. My political leanings have never been a secret. While Kevin is not as outspoken as I am, I know he feels the same way, as does my mother. Could Arlene just not stand to be in our company anymore?

Not for nothing, but we see a few of our friends falling away. I am beginning to see the pattern here. Once upon a time we had friends with different views and yet we all still managed to care about each other and spend time together. Now thanks to MAGA, people can't stand to even be in our company as if we might taint them with leftist poison. It's as if they are required to shun us.

Arlene died knowing she alienated us and was fine with that. There is no way to fix the relationship now. What about our living friends? A few years down the road will our friends that are still alive be okay with it? What happens after they force us to move on and suddenly realize they miss or, or need something from us?

This is a good topic for my essay blog.

I tend to write these posts when I'm working from home. Unfortunately I have less time to to that now. Our hybrid work schedule is going from two days at home and three days in the office to one day at home and four days in the office. Sales are slow and the CEO wants to torture us. He was in the NY office for three weeks yelling at the sales team in meetings and going through everyone's desks at night and throwing away stuff. We are supposed to have a clean desk policy. It would help if they provided us with storage! They want us in the office more, but we can't personalize our desks?

I was told at my last review that I wasn't getting a raise. Well, that turned out to not be true. I did receive a small one. It amounts to maybe another $60 per month. I suppose I shouldn't complain. Not everyone on my team got one. I have been taking up the slack of a team member who was let go in the middle of last year. I think I deserve a little more money.

Some bad news at work is that my manager is moving to a new position. I would have loved to have been appointed as a team leader, but no. They are making one of our UK CSMs a manager for all the US team. Not looking forward to this. The woman is at least 20 years my junior and is a real company gal. I hope she isn't going to insist on playing by the book. My current manager gives our team a lot of freedom. We can work from home as needed, which is important for things like doctor appointments or in my case, rehearsals. Current manager warned the new one I am accustomed to working from home when I want because of my play schedules. I hope that doesn't cause any trouble.

Last day of April and it's so gloomy out! April showers indeed. I hope we have a better May. April started out better than it ended. The week ahead looks confused. We have 70s and rainy and 50s and sunny and nothing is consistent anywhere. At least it's not snow? Maybe the long range forecast will improve. Weather is never guaranteed, right?

Kevin told me yesterday I looked like I lost weight. I wish! I have been making an effort to eat better when not out with theater friends, but I guess it's not good enough. I like to think his observations about my weight are related to success in returning to the weight room. I am managing to keep up some lifting despite the injuries. I'm already adding weight to my workouts. I'm still pretty strong. I am impressed with how well I can hold a boat pose.

Unfortunately my shoulder still hurts. It hurts less, but it hurts. I still have to be careful with some movements.

My hamstring has improved, but it's not fully recovered. It isn't getting worse, but I think I am kidding myself if I think I will never have it looked at or get therapy for it. I just don't want to spend the money. I am hoping to wait it out until the fall. If I can manage the pain and do the exercises needed to at least partially heal it, I will look into doing the full work in September.

It's May. I have to figure out what to do for Mom's birthday and Mother's Day. Sian is talking about making a visit around this time. I would like to plan all this stuff around her. So much to figure out. I should get on the ball and ask Erik if he has any plans. I think I will invite Dad over for Father's Day dinner. I want to make lasagne fully from scratch and maybe some homemade ice cream.

So I am looking at a quiet, uneventful life until my next audition.

Famous last words. Life can become quite full unexpectedly. I shouldn't anticipate too much boredom.

Death of a Salesman went well last weekend. That was an understatement. The production was exquisite. It was well-staged and well acted. All the cast members were at the top of their game. Kevin had only one scene and he chewed it right up - devoured it even. Audience members were shocked at the character he played, including me. Advanced ticket sales were weak. Their first night audience was small, but appreciative. Word spread. Seats began filling up for subsequent performances. I am so proud of Kevin, Anthony, and all of the cast for the job they did. I didn't even mind seeing it twice (and I stayed awake).

Kevin bought tickets for the Broadway performance on the 15th, so I have to see it a third time. I am so curious to see how Nathan Lane will handle playing Willy Loman. I have no doubt Laurie Metcalf will do a great job as Linda though.

The fundraiser for the Manor Club was an enjoyable night. The performances were a little unpolished and amateurish, but the singers were enthusiastic and talented. James, Michele, and Eric were there (Eric had to be there since his wife was in the show). Nobody brought up the weirdness from the cast party. It's a little sad that I worked so well with this cast and I may never see - let alone work with - most of them again. James and Michele slipped out after the show without saying goodbye and I was a bit upset, but they are having a goodbye party on the 17th, so I guess I will see them once more. I told Eric I hope we can work together again in the future and he said it was unlikely as he only does a show about once every five years. On the other hand, Jack loves karaoke singing as much as I do and he will be joining my little karaoke club.

I'm trying to get the gang together for regular karaoke again. It's hard to work with everyone's schedules, but maybe we will have to accept that there will be a slightly different group every time we meet. I'm hoping to do it again in two weeks.

Karaoke and the 13th, Broadway on the 15th, James and Michele's party on the 17th. Who said life has to be boring from now on?

Plus I have to figure out some plans for Mother's Day and Mom's birthday on the 24th. Sian has been talking about making a visit as well.

I am also happy to have more barn days now. Tara asked me what my next play would be and I told her it's a play called, "Rachel wants to take some time off and spend the summer with Riddle." Too bad the weather hasn't been great. I went to the barn on Saturday and had to deal with lots of chilly, rainy weather. This weekend doesn't look much better. It will still be a good day to trim Riddle's mane and do some serious tack cleaning. I have no place to go Saturday evening so I can stay at the barn as late as I want. Maybe I will stop at the Bellvale Creamery on the way home.

Not that I need ice cream. Weekends full of parties and late night outings have not done much for my weight. I'm back up to 144. I'm getting my weight loss advice from Marjorie Dawes (100 points to you if you get the reference).

I sometimes say being in a play is like being on vacation or going away to camp. You have to set aside time in your life away from your normal world. It’s a whole separate sphere from your friends, family, and your job. You have to work with a group of people you may not know or at least not spend time with regularly. A play becomes your second family, your second job, and your primary social life. It can feel so far removed from your regular life that it can lend itself to the idea that what happens in the theater, stays in the theater.

I think that’s why being in a play can so easily create the situation called “showmance”. Actors are thrown together, isolated from their daily lives, for several hours every week. This can create some close friendships that may or may not extend beyond the theater. Romances can happen as well – and that sometimes means illicit romances.

Ever since I started doing community theater, I have seen my share of showmances. That includes hearing rumors of romances that are a tad unsavory.

When I did my first show with The Harrison Players in high school, the lead actor in the show began dating a member of the dance ensemble. The ended up married.

For my second show with the Harrison Players, the stage manager brought along his girlfriend to be his assistant. They seemed like a great couple. She ended up cheating on him with one of the hot young guys in the cast. I'm not sure what became of either relationship.

When I was in my twenties, I was single and unhappy about it. During a rehearsal for a Harrison Players show, I was chatting with my married friend Carmela about it. Carmela said I had all the wrong hobbies for meeting men, and I should add golf to my schedule. Ironically when I asked her how she met her husband, she said she met him when they performed together in a Harrison Players show.

Five years ago I was performing in The Addams Family with Bedford Community theater and one evening my friend Ken was in the audience. Ken is a character to say the least. He has an insane sense of humor and will do almost anything on stage (and offstage). Some of the kids in The Addams family had been in a production of The Secret Garden with Ken two years before at that theater. They liked Ken and were happy to see him. They were also gossiping a lot about how Ken carried on an affair with a fellow cast member. They barely kept it a secret.

Ken and his wife are still married. That makes me wonder about how common it is for people to have a relationship during a show and then walk away and go back to real life. Ken's wife does theater too, although she tends to work more backstage than onstage. Did she have any illicit trysts of her own?

Stories like this hit home because of something that happened at the cast party this weekend. All five of us in the cast and the director were there. My castmate Eric, who played my onstage husband, was the first to leave. He went around the room and hugged everyone goodbye. When he got to me, he gave me a huge bear hug and a sloppy wet kiss on the cheek and said, “I love you.”

Eric and I were working together several hours a week for over three months. The only other woman in the cast also had her partner in the cast. Eric and I played husband and wife. Sometimes when we spoke offstage, he was flirty. Was he merely staying in character, or was there more to it? Sometimes when actors have to be affectionate with each other on stage, it can initially be awkward. When his character walked on stage and had to give me a hug and a kiss hello, he did so without hesitation right from the beginning. Again, that could be nothing more than knowing how to feel professional detachment. Plus it made me a lot more comfortable with it. I wasn't trying to read too much into anything.

We were drinking a lot of champagne at the cast party. He had a beer or two in between. That probably helped with the insertion of his foot in his mouth. When he said "I love you," he likely meant, "I really enjoyed working with you." It also could have meant, "I'm attracted to you and I'm too tipsy to have the inhibitions not to say so and also too tipsy to say it more subtly." (I am glad he was able to drive home safely.)

How do I feel about him? I like him. He's attractive and funny and sweet. He has the most beautiful crystalline blue eyes. If we weren't both married I wouldn't kick him out of bed. However, I'm married to a great guy and I intend to stay married and be faithful. His wife came to a few shows. I saw them together. They are clearly quite happily married. There was nothing to worry about. I figured our flirtation would run its course once the show was over and so it has.

But I wonder what the optics were for everyone else.

The party was at the home of our castmates Michele and James who have been cohabitating for the last eighteen years. During the party we were all talking our relationships and how long we had been together and how we met our spouses. Michele and James were a showmance. They met while doing community theater in their home state of Montana. They said their romance was a bit scandalous when it began because one of them was still married. Michele eventually confessed it was her. What was the state of her marriage at the time she met James? Is her ex-husband a theater person? It's clear to me she needs to be with another theater person. This showmance was a bit scandalous, but it worked out for them in the end. They are a strong and solid couple together.

But knowing what they know, I wonder if they observed what happened and questioned it. After everyone left, were they gossiping to each other about what they saw? Did they notice anything else during the whole rehearsal and run? Did they see things I never saw? Were they not surprised Eric behaved that way with me at the cast party?

I think a showmance has to be treated the same way a workplace relationship should be treated. When I was single, I refused to date coworkers because I felt it would be too awkward to be in the office with someone every day if the relationship ended. If the relationship is illicit, it can call the entire reputation of the participants into question with both management and your coworkers. Now expand that to the theater world. Actors encounter many of the same people across various shows. While starting a legitimate romance can lead to a happy ending, you do have to consider if things don't work out, your ex might be in the same cast as you in the future. If you are having an illicit affair, you will deal with the gossip for years to come (as Ken proved). Plus you will might be cast in another show with your affair partner in the future and that would be awkward. Eric and I could not only be cast in future shows together, but he could also be cast in a show with Kevin (they were already in The Shawshank Redemption together). In other words, even if I were single, dating castmates is trickier than it seems.

Saturday night The Manor Club is having a Semiquincetennial musical review celebrating the history of the US and US theater. I have a few theater friends in it and Leslie Ann the stage manager is in it as well. Eric's wife is in it. I'm going and I'm going alone since Death of a Salesman is going up that weekend (I am seeing that on both Friday and Sunday so I have Saturday night free.)The whole cast will be there, so we will be having a reunion of sorts. I'm wiping the slate clean. These castmates are my friends. Eric was nothing more than a friendly castmate who was good at his role. He acted dumb in a tipsy moment that I don't even remember as of right now. That's my story and I sticking to it. What happens during a show stays at the show.

We had a wonderful week of summery weather this week. It felt nice to put on a dress and go out for a walk. I don't have enough toenails right now for a pedicure (my toenails tend to split and peel a lot, so when it's not sandal season, I keep them cut super short) but I had to put sandals on yesterday. We had some rain overnight and the temps are a bit cooler today, but the sun is coming out and it's going to be in the 70s by the afternoon. It will be in the 60s all weekend, drop down to the 50s during the week, and go back up by next weekend. It seems like pretty typical April weather and not at all unpleasant. I should have a nice day for riding tomorrow and the theater won't be too hot or too cold for performances.

I'm looking forward to our next round of performances this weekend. We are in a groove now and I think we're going to take this play over the top. I hope so. I don't know if any more friends are coming this weekend. Kevin is thinking of going to tonight's or tomorrow's performance, but my close friends and family all came last weekend. Well, I should say all the friends who told me there were going to see it came last weekend. I have no idea who might show up this weekend. I hope some local directors come see it. I want to get my name out there.

I had a couple of friends act surprised last week that I did this. It has been so long since I last played a lead character in a play that the theater world has come to believe I am incapable of doing so. That's crazy. Why shouldn't I be able to do this? I have had at least supporting roles in musicals where I had lines and solo singing and choreography. Why shouldn't I be able to say a lot of lines in a play?

I will miss working with this cast. We're not as tight as The Prom cast, but we have come to enjoy hanging out together. It's going to be a long summer. At least the horses will have some attention.

Elmwood Playhouse has announced their next season. I think there are some plays I can go out for. They are doing one musical, but they can't say what it is yet. They are also doing some classics like I Hate Hamlet and Dial M for Murder. They are also doing Peter and the Starcatcher. ACT has yet to announce the auditions for that. I wonder if they plan to do it after all. I was so sure I would go out for that. Now maybe I will audition for it with Elmwood. I am waiting for Curtain Call to announce their next season as well. I would love it if Harrison did a show I could go out for so I wouldn't have to deal with long commutes to rehearsals. What I would really love is for there to be a show Kevin and I can both be in.

I decided to forgo PT on my hamstring. The exercises Rob gave me seem to be working. I feel much better than I did a few months ago, although I still have some pain. My shoulder is improving too. I have to make some extreme movements or use heavy weight before I feel pain there. I am so happy to be saving the money on that. I am starting to do some limited lifting in the gym. I decided to ask Chat GPT to recommend a workout program for me. I did it for the first time this week. I have to be careful with some of the exercises because they can hurt if I don't watch form or use too much weight, but whatever pain I have doesn't spill over into non-gym time.

I have to wonder if all the mobility work I have been doing has helped. I have been investigating mobility workouts on YouTube and trying to do them consistently. I incorporate more isometrics into my day like doing planks and wall sits. I also integrate movement snacks. I'll drop into a deep squat. I do alternating side lunges. I do hip CARS. I rise on my tiptoes. I do the cat/cow (standing with my hands on my knees or on all fours). I move in an out of child pose and move up and down in cobra. I do a 90/90 stretch bent over my front leg. I hang from a bar. I do rotational sways. Not only have my shoulder and hamstring been improving, but my back is improving as well.

I also have to wonder if my changes in diet have anything to do with it. Was I not getting enough protein last year? My diet was about 70% vegetarian last year and about 50% of those meals were vegan on average. Now I would say on average my meals are about 60% vegetarian and way fewer vegan meals (although that changes from week to week). Last year my breakfasts were always vegan except for the milk in my coffee. I ate scrambled tofu, wholewheat toast with almond butter and fruit, chia seed pudding. Now I eat eggs and yogurt as well. I mix up my lunches with meat and vegetarian options. The Cal AI app still seems to think I need more protein most days, but I am getting more than I did last year. I'm not only concerned with protein though. I think of collagen and Vitamin B12 as well. I guess the only way to know is to go back to eating the way I did last year and compare. Is it the mobility work, the diet, or a combination of the two?

The show went well. We all dropped lines and had some uncomfortable pauses now and then, but the audience didn't seem to notice. We covered it up well. I had people I knew in the audience in every performance and I received several compliments. Some friends were surprised at my ability to handle the role. Why is that? Sometimes I feel as if I will never be acknowledged as a competent actor. I'm only ever as good as my last role.

Quality-wise our audiences were great. Everyone laughed and was supportive. Quantity-wise it was disappointing. We didn't pull in big crowds. The size of the theater made the audience look even small. I hope the audiences from the first weekend spread the word and encourage more people to come. I also hope more local directors come to see the show. I want to get my name out there for future auditions. I had friends coming to the show on Friday along with Kevin. My family came yesterday. Everyone loved it.

My second brush with celebrity isn't a direct contact as it was with Bill Clinton last weekend, but I discovered a celebrity connection that shocked me.

I met our stage manager, Leslie Ann, for the first time last spring when we both auditioned for Pal Joey. She was quite a talented singer and I was a little surprised she wasn't cast, but I guess either Anthony didn't think she fit any of the roles or else she may have gotten tired of all the chaos around auditions and decided not to be in the play. Kevin told me he knew her because she was the stage manager for Amadeus, but it was the first time he worked with her too. He was Facebook friends with her.

Anyway, during a rehearsal two weeks ago, she said something about singing with a friend in Rockland County. I wondered if that's why she hasn't been in a lot of local theater (at least not that I have seen). She isn't all that local. But I thought if she lived in Rockland County, she might have worked with the Elmwood Playhouse. I decided to Google her because Elmwood keeps all their cast and crew bios from all their shows on their website. I was just curious.

I Googled the name Leslie Ann Lopez and kept getting hits that had to do with JLo.

I knew JLo has one sister. Lynda Lopez used to be a DJ at my favorite radio station and I have also seen her anchoring local news broadcasts. However, I didn't know there was a second sister, whose name happens to be Leslie Ann, who is a school music teacher, which I know is my stage manager's day job.

Even though the photos that popped up on Google showed a woman who looked like my stage manager, I was still pretty incredulous. We aren't Facebook friends (I am always afraid to send friend requests to people and mostly take friend requests from others) but she has enough public posts on her profile for me to see she attended the same high school in the Bronx as Jennifer and has a trans son named Brendan (who did a lot of the set and prop construction on Cahoots). There is a bit of news on the internet about JLo having a trans nephew.

I didn't know whom I could confirm this with. I was afraid I would be told I was crazy for thinking Leslie Ann was JLo's sister - or that it was common knowledge and I be embarrassed about not knowing (like when I said Bill Clinton could win a Bill Clinton lookalike contest).

I got my confirmation Saturday night when I was out having drinks after the show with a couple of guys from the cast. Liz, the director, tends to divide her time acting in Harrison Players shows and acting and directing in the City Island Theater Group (with occasional appearances in other productions around the area). Three of our other cast members have worked with her in City Island and Leslie Ann worked with her in City Island too. Anyway, my castmate Jack brought it up in conversation. He said nobody knew for a long time, even Liz. Then one day during a rehearsal for one of the previous shows where they worked together, Liz was scrolling through her phone during a break and came upon the news of JLo's divorce from Ben Affleck. Liz made a snarky comment. Leslie Ann got upset and told Liz not to talk smack about her sister. Liz didn't believe her at first, but Leslie Ann let her know it was true. Obviously Leslie Ann wants to keep a low profile and let her sisters live their lives in peace. She's not a very glamorous person. She obviously prefers a quiet life herself. It's too bad. She can sing circles around Jennifer.

So it's weird to think there are only two degrees of separation between me and one of the most famous people on the planet. It's a cool bit of knowledge, but in the end that and five bucks will get me a coffee at Starbucks.

I have a peaceful week to try to slowly adjust to real life until the next round of shows next weekend. My body didn't like being forced to go back on the old sleep schedule. I didn't sleep well last night. I made it to the gym this morning though. Liz wants us to have a brush-up on Wednesday, but otherwise it's a quiet week on the home front.

We are going to have some nice, warm weather this week. Spring has sprung. There are buds on the trees. The temps will be in the 70s and 80s for the next few days. Unfortunately it will be raining, but I'll take rain over cold. I put my winter clothes in storage-including my parka. The temps will plummet over the weekend, but we're talking 50s and 60s, not 40s. It will be tolerable at the barn on Saturday.

Looks like next week the weather will be jumping all over the place, but that's a NY spring for you. Next week it will all be over for me. I don't want to think that far beyond the show. I don't want it to be over.

This had to be one of the most unusual Easter weekends of my lifetime.

The weather on Saturday almost cooperated. The day started out beautiful. It was sunny and in in the high 60s. Everyone at the pig roast was so happy when it started. Then it clouded over and the winds started blowing. Everyone managed to move inside by the time we finished the bulk of our eating and we ate dessert indoors. We made it work. It was a nice day with the family. Janeth's mother came up from Florida. She seems to be managing okay so far. Gracie walked through the dining room with her cat in her arms. Janeth chased her upstairs and reminded her it would make Valerie sick. Valerie got wind of it and started to freak out, but Maribel calmed her down right away. I ate way too much, but that's par for the course.

Sunday brunch at the Peninsula brought some unique surprises. The weather wasn't great, but it wasn't raining for our walk to the hotel. The hotel is on Fifth Avenue, and the Easter Bonnet Parade was finishing up when we were walking there. We stayed off Fifth Avenue until we couldn't avoid it. We saw plenty of people in their hats as they were leaving though, so we got a taste of the event. It was raining a bit when we left, but by that time the parade was fully over and the street was open to traffic again, so we took a taxi back to Grand Central.

We had a nice meal with Malcolm and Steffanie and Elle. She is 3.5 now and is bigger and cuter. She is quite social now as well. She's not one of those shy toddlers (quite unlike her father who probably didn't talk to me until he was a teenager). The Peninsula Easter brunch is not very brunchy. They had no actual breakfast food - not even an omelet station. I enjoyed the food immensely, but Mom and Kevin were a little disappointed. Kevin actually got most of his food from the kids' buffet because he liked the sliders and the chicken tenders. Mom and I both agreed the potato gratin in the hot station was the best we ever had. I also had the best chocolate-frosted vanilla cupcakes I ever ate.

Anyway, toward the end of our meal a tall, distinguished-looking, gray-hair gentleman walked through the room. He was chatting with the waitstaff and giving nods of greeting to some of the tables, and basically gladhandling. After he walked by I said to Kevin, "That man could win a Bill Clinton lookalike contest." Kevin responded to me, "That was Bill Clinton."

The Clinton family was having Easter brunch in the same restaurant, in the room right beyond the one we were sitting in. Their table was strategically positioned so Bill was hidden behind a wall, but I could see Chelsea through one of the doorways. From the doorway on the other side of the wall I saw a woman that could have been Hilary, but she never got up or turned her head, so I couldn't see her face. It looked like her hair.

The hotel had an ongoing egg hunt in the lobby and the Easter bunny hung out for photos. After we ate we took Elle into the lobby to help her find eggs and take some family photos with the bunny. I wanted to get a photo with Kevin on the landing of the grand staircase as well. At the same time, Bill was coming through with his grandson looking for eggs. (I thought it was sweet that out of all the people in the family sitting at that table, it was Bill who took him egg hunting, but maybe he was just being Bill Clinton and lapping up the attention he would get). We were standing there on the landing together for a few moments. One of the security guards saw me go into my bag for my phone and strategically positioned himself in front of Bill and the grandson so I couldn't get a photo. I'll admit, I tried. I wanted some kind of proof of what happened, so I got a photo of his ear from the side. (I wanted to upload photos, but when I click on the add photos button, it doesn't give me any options. Do I need a paid account to post photos?)

I have Facebook friends who have met the Clintons at restaurants and events and have posted photos on their feeds, so maybe Bill would have been okay with it if I went up to him and asked. However, this was a family occasion and I was being obnoxiously intrusive enough. I think if I had seen Hilary though, I might not have been able to help myself. I would love to meet her and talk to her. If Bob had been there, I know he would have talked to Bill. Bob has no inhibitions and will never miss a chance to give people a hard time. Not only would Bob have said something to Bill when he walked by our table, but he probably would have razzed him a bit. Bob's business puts him in the company of a lot of VIPs. I wouldn't be surprised if he met Bill already. He has had his picture taken with Tony Blair.

Anyway (the word has no S), it's time to get down to business. Tech week is in full swing. We had a pretty good rehearsal last night. We rarely had to call for lines. We did miss some bits of dialog, but we covered it up and kept going. I feel pretty good about the show right now. Let's hope I feel this way by Thursday's rehearsal and beyond.

I took the week off from the gym this week. Although I have a lot of low-cal meals from CookUnity this week, I also have a lot of leftovers from the pig roast, so it evens out. I have been very unhappy with how I looked in the Easter photos so I have to work on things. The good news is I am feeling much better physically. My shoulder feels as close to healed as it has in a long time. The nordic curls seem to have worked their magic on my hamstring and it feels much better as well. Maybe I can get back into fighting shape again soon.

And tomorrow is April the 8th. Let's see what, if anything, it brings me.

I am a little more optimistic about the weather forecast this weekend. Every day the forecast for Saturday seems to change. Yesterday the forecast said partly cloudy and in in the 70s. Now it is saying high 60s with a 50% chance of thunderstorms. Thunderstorms tend to be later in the day, so maybe the pig roast will be safe.

It is likely to rain on Easter. Kevin wants to walk to the Peninsula from Grand Central. We may have to take a cab and suck up the cost. However, the brunch is indoors. Rain won't spoil the occasion. It will only make getting there more difficult.

It has been a horrible week at work. Mike, the CEO has been in the office all week. He has decided he wants a "clean desk" policy and doesn't want anyone leaving anything unnecessary on our desks. We were not warned about this before he went through the office himself and began throwing away everyone's notepads and pens as well as other disposable items like tissue boxes. People had important notes on those pads. It was frustrating for everyone. We have an open office plan (hate it) and we have no storage at our desks. They are supposed to be bringing in storage cabinets so we can have stuff at our desks and put it away when not using it.

I was hoping we might be let out early tomorrow as we often are on Good Friday. However, with Mike in the office that could change. I swear he is enjoying a power trip right now. Since he is based out of our main office in London, he has Friday off (and Monday too) so I like to think he will fly home tomorrow and leave our office in peace.

Mike Danson is a billionaire, but he is too cheap to give us raises. However, he doesn't mind wasting money by trashing office supplies. I can't have a raise, so let me have a notepad and a pen for god's sake! This guy is one of the wealthiest men in the world. He's not one of those high-profile celebrity billionaires, but he could pay every employee in the world a livable salary out of his pocket change. This guy didn't inherit his money either. He is a self-made billionaire from a middle class background. One would think he would have some empathy for his employees. I guess it's true that there are no ethical billionaires. The more money you have, the less empathy you have, and the more you feel the need to hoard it.

Okay. I need to calm down. I have to focus on what to do for the pig roast. I said I would provide a green salad and cornbread. I wasn't sure what kind of cornbread to make. When Sian came for Christmas she gifted me with a pack of locally made cornbread mix that supports a charitable cause. On the other hand, I would like to try my friend Nikki's cornbread recipe. She's the one I was helping test recipes for her new cookbook. Her cornbread recipe is on the test recipe packet. Janeth said there will be twenty people at the party, so maybe I should make both? One of my favorite salads is high-quality mixed greens from the farm market in a dressing made from olive oil, white wine vinegar, and a touch of honey. Then I crumble goat cheese or other soft cheese into it. I was thinking I wanted to buy my eggs, milk, greens, cheese, and honey at the farm market, but it could be cutting it close with time. Maybe I'll get the cornbread ingredients at the supermarket today or tomorrow and bake the cornbread tomorrow night (or tomorrow afternoon if they let us leave early) and I can quickly run by the farm market Saturday morning and grab what I need for the salad. It won't take long to make it.

I'm getting my haircut today too. Expenses, expenses, expense. I am getting a color too. Normally I leave my gray streak alone, but the character I play is an actress in the early 90s. She wouldn't have gray hair. I am going to have a demipermanent color put in so it's not gray for the next few weeks.

I was 142.6 pounds this morning. The number on the scale doesn't mean much when I look at pictures of myself. Cast members are always taking photos at rehearsals and I can't believe how heavy I look. I am so out of shape. I hope I can change that soon. My shoulder feels pretty good today. I really had to move it in odd ways for there to be significant pain. My hamstring is what is is. I don't think I can avoid the cost of PT much longer. After the play I'll make the appointment with the orthopedist and get the script for it.

We open a week from tomorrow and the cast still struggles with lines. We couldn't get the stage for rehearsal tonight, so we have a line read through online tonight. We are not allowed to call for lines for next week's rehearsal, so we need to have it down by the end of the weekend. I have to buckle down and study. I will get Kevin to run lines with me whether he likes it or not.

I don't know why I keep getting upset about the weather. It's March. It's not supposed to be nice outside. The problem is we have had so many "teaser" days, I have been spoiled.

Plus I am sick of all the rain!

We are supposed to have temps in the 50s and 60s from today through Friday. Clouds, clouds, and rain all throughout. Saturday and Sunday will be sunny - and back down to the 40s! Sunday isn't such an ordeal because it's a double rehearsal day, but it won't be warm at the barn. :-(

The long range forecast for next week goes back and forth from 50s to 60s and then jumps up to the 70s and even 80s by the end of the week - with more rain!

Erik's pre-Easter pig roast is that Saturday. I hope we get a combination of both sunshine and warm temperatures. Otherwise we will all have to squish indoors. I think Erik is hoping for good weather. Easter Sunday will be indoors, so the weather is less important for that.

We have the double rehearsal on Sunday this weekend. We go all afternoon, get a dinner break, and then go into the evening. Normally this kind of rehearsal kicks of Tech Week, but Tech Week starts with Easter so we have the double rehearsal a week early. It will be our first day off book for Act 2, so it's a good idea actually. We only have three rehearsal next week and then it's Tech Week!

We worked with props and set pieces for the first time Monday night. It threw us off our game a bit. I'm hoping we fix that tonight.

My car needs gas right now. I haven't been doing much driving in the past couple of weeks, so I know I am going to take a big hit. I use Gas Buddy to find the cheapest gas and the cheapest gas is .50 more per gallon than the cheapest gas the last time I filled up. $3.79 per gallon!

Spring is only two days away. The weather may or may not be better, but at least the days will start to be longer than the nights.

This time of year is when I am most obsessed with weather (unless I'm going on vacation and then I am even more obsessed). I keep watching and waiting for warm sunny days to arrive and stick around. It's barely crawling out of the 20s today. But it will crawl back up over the weekend into the 50s an 60s - complete with rain! The rain will stop early next week and the temps will drop back down to the 40s. I'm feeling grumpy about this. I just want a real spring. I want sunny weather and temps above 50.

I'm still struggling with remembering lines for Act 2. We don't have to be off book until Sunday. We have two more rehearsals with scripts in our hands before then. I have a few more days to work out the kinks. But we have only three more weeks until we open. When I look at it from that perspective, it feels insane. We don't have a full set or all props yet. That is going to change everything when we start incorporating that.

I am not sure my dietary changes are helping with my pain. My shoulder has taken a big step backward. My ROM is worse than it was two weeks ago. My knee is perpetually tender and still hurts if I come out of a deep crouch. My hamstring is all over the place. Sometimes it feels better and sometimes it hurts as much as it ever has. The Nordic curls seem to be helping a little. When I first started doing them, it hurt to lean forward even a little. Now I can lean much farther forward than I could when I started. Maybe I can treat this on my own without having to pay for more PT. I suppose I can see how I feel after the play is over.

My dietary changes haven't done anything for my weight either. I am stubbornly stuck at 144 pounds. If I am lucky, I might go down a pound, but I can't get below 143. I have been using the Cal AI app and it shows I am eating fewer calories these days. The increased protein has helped me with hunger.

I guess I only came here to complain today. That's okay. That's what journals are for.

Two Hours Later
(said in SpongeBob French accent)

I went for a walk at the harbor today. It was freezing outside. It looked like the was all melted though. There was a time when I could only walk on certain paths because not all over them were cleared of snow. Then I looked at the parking lots. There were huge mountains of snow piled up in the middle of them.

I had my screening. I lost an inch of height. I am now only 4'10". The scale also showed 152 pounds. I can't believe that. I was 143 on my own scale this morning. They weighed me fully clothed after spending a weekend eating Thai food. I'm sure that would have added three or four pounds. But that many? I have been 152 pounds before and I looked much heavier than I do now.

I also have high cholesterol. I never did before. It's all rather distressing. Well, I said I needed to alter my diet. It's time.

The weather is doing backflips lately. Today it's supposed to be in the 50s, but it's going to rain. We had this gorgeous sunrise that made the world glow pink for a few minutes, but once the sun was up, it became gray and cloudy. I guess I shouldn't be disappointed in this in March.

I was feeling grumpy when I had to turn on all the lights to eat breakfast. Once again I was cursing this early DST that makes the sunrise way too late, and I thought of something.

I live in a region with seasons, while I hate seeing the summer end, I do enjoy having seasons and feel a bit of excitement as the seasons change and anticipating watching the world change. The problem for me is I get tired of every season's novelty (except for summer).

For example, in November and December, I don't mind the dark mornings as much. I understand they are simply the way nature works. Since I'm not a night owl, being awake on a dark morning kind of feels like being up all night. Ever since I was a kid I felt there was some sort of mystery to a dark morning. It felt as if I was the only person in the world awake.

Of course now I'm over it. I want some morning sunshine already.

I feel the same way about winter snow. I love the atmosphere snow can lend to a December day. I love how a clean snowfall looks. I love watching it fall. I love the way snow absorbs sounds and makes things quiet. However, once we are past January, I'm done.

I remember when I was working at my old job in Norwalk, CT, I had to drive past a classic New England town green to get there. It had a gazebo and a church at one end. We had a late season snowstorm one year. I remember as I drove to work and passed the green all covered in snow, looking like a Currier & Ives print, I thought to myself, "This would look utterly charming in December, BUT IT'S MARCH!" Snow was not going to look soothing and peaceful anymore. It was an annoyance I wanted to be rid of until the next December.

Considering my general hatred of winter, it's funny that I would be waiting for it to come, but I think at the end of fall, when the trees are bare and the days are short dark, and miserable, I have the feeling of, "Just let's get to winter already. This blah weather is the pits. Let's have some Christmas."

It's 65 degrees outside and the sun is shining. I know this won't last. We have eleven more days left of winter. It's going to drop back into the 40s and even into the 30s by the middle of next week, but let me have this now. I hope it comes permanently in April. At least for now Saturdays at the barn will be reasonable.

I barely noticed the longer day yesterday, although I noticed how light it was when I left rehearsal yesterday afternoon. I almost regretted being in rehearsal instead of outside enjoying the beautiful day. I was miffed for a few reasons this morning. First of all I was simply unhappy about how I'm losing any semblance of morning sunshine. I admit it hasn't been much lighter in the morning yet, but at least I was starting to see a little bit of light come through when I left the gym. Now it's back to dark when I wake up and dark when I leave the gym and dim when I head to work. No wonder I'm sleeping so poorly. Anyway, I went to the gym this morning and it wasn't open. I could swear when I went yesterday the same guy who is there on weekday mornings was at the reception desk. He must have set his clock forward for that and thus it should be permanently changed by now. Maybe he didn't. At my old gym you could always count on the gym being closed when the clocks are moved back or forward.

Tomorrow it will be close to 70 and mostly sunny. Even though I have to be in the office, I'm excited. I think I will wear a skirt!

I had a "biometric screening" today. My insurance company will give me $50 toward my rewards points if I go to a lab and have bloodwork done along with height, weight, and blood pressure. I'm curious if I lost any height. I haven't been measured in a few years. Given that I have a compressed disc, I'm sure I have some spinal compression and have lost some height - as if I weren't short enough! I just hope nothing in this test will be used against me. For all I know I could be denied coverage over something found in the blood test today. It occurs to me this is a sneaky way to get private health information from you that could be used against you. On the other hand, knowing things like cholesterol are a good thing and I should have blood work more often. I had Thai food and the leftovers this weekend, so I am sure my BMI is worse than usual to boot. At least my blood pressure was good. I wasn't seeing a doctor, so I couldn't talk about my healthy lifestyle with lots of exercise. Then again, my insurance tracks this every day through my watch and the app. I have accumulated close to $200 in rewards points already

Speaking of that Thai food, I discovered the most wonderful restaurant this weekend (well, Dad discovered it and invited us along). We went there for Beth's birthday Friday night. It's called BKK New York and it was a singularly delightful culinary experience. I have always loved Thai food, but haven't eaten much of it lately. We have plenty of pan-Asian restaurants in the neighborhood, so if I want Thai, Kevin and I will often go to those of these places where I can have a lackluster red curry chicken. This weekend I had dishes like lychee duck and crispy pork in a fiery pepper sauce. We also had a traditional massaman curry, but with short rib slices. We over-ordered, but that's okay because I was happy to have the leftovers so I could eat it all over again. I told Dad I want to go there for my birthday.

In the bad news department, Mom got a notice from her financial advisor that he is terminating their 20+-year partnership because her investment account has dipped too low. She was shocked. She has had to spend a lot of it due to needing major repairs on her place, but she never thought she would be dumped so unceremoniously. I said I would help her look into one of those small investment services if she wanted a new place to put her money, but she said the way the economy is, she might as well put it under her mattress. She said she will put it in a savings account and keep it was needed for a rainy day (it's about $11K). I asked her if she had enough to live on. She was getting an annuity from her investments of about $7K per year, but she had to spend it all because her home equity loan was bought out by another bank and for some reason they told her she owed thousands more in interest. She is receiving SS and her pension and it should not affect her lifestyle. I asked if she thought she could downsize, but she said any decent place to live in this area is either way over her budget, or disgusting and depressing to live in. I hope she doesn't need long term care any time soon.

I put gas in my car today. I'm trying to fill up before the prices skyrocket. I worry we will be back to the gas lines we had when I was a little kid.

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Recent Entries

A Glorious Break

Hot July Incoming

Hello Summer

It's on to Oliver

The Good, The Bad, and the Chaos

My Latest Body Goal

Theater and Stuff

Summer So Close

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A Few More Updates

Normal Life Resumes

Some Thoughts on the Concept of "Showmance"

Getting Ready for Week 2

Success! (and a second brush with celebrity)

An Easter Weekend to Remember (and Tech Week is Upon Us)

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Ugh!