I'm actually a little bit frightened by how bored I am right now. Crushing, oppressive boredom like a giant taco, thick with the sauce of ennui and stuffed with the beans of unfulfilled dreams and just enough apathy mince to justify the "beef taco" print on the gargantuan, monolithic box.
This taco has crushed many souls. It is the taco of Robinson Crusoe and the Man in the Iron Mask. It is the taco that drove Darth Vader to the Dark Side. Eating its stale, wooden skin drove Nietzsche to insanity and Sartre to nausea.
This is Satan's take-out. Baezelbub's midnight snack.
You've been in my brain for close to a decade now. We drift together, apart, back, forward, into and out of eachother ceaselessly. The second that I start to forget you, you're back in my life. You amaze me, crack me up, make me pine, make me dream.
Thank you.
EDIT: That probably sounds more creepy than wistful. To clarify, X and I are long term friends who have agreed not to date in any capacity. No burning candles, no shrines. Just a heartfelt wish for the best for eachother (I think)
EDITEDIT: And by stalking, I mean the casual, incidental perusal of a facebook post from time to time. Remember, it's only stalking if you have to pay off the cops.
EDITEDITEDIT: If Milla Jovovich had bothered to REPLY to my fan letter, I wouldn't be burning a candle in the shrine I made to X.
EDITEDITEDITEDIT: I think I typed that last bit instead of just thinking it. Sleep-time.
Am about five years north of being completely caught up in the angst and heartache of that time of life, but that's good. It's perspective. And the memories aren't really gone;)
EDITATION: What the Hell is it with me and mopey redheads. They ruin me (in a good way)
I'm not a pussy about this kind of shit. I've tossed what were at the time dear friends right out on their asses, dumped boxes of their shit on the sidewalk in the past. I did it because they couldn't see that they were harmful people. I did it because they eventually crossed that goddamned line. But there's a handful of people in life who aren't like that and they and myself would be worse off for it if we went our separate ways. I mean some things change in life and you can't account for fate's twists. But for as long as possible, you want to keep the righteous people close.
