Marki9

out of all the replies this is the one I think about the most. wtf did wilbur do

GO TO THE HELL I DONT WAKE YET AND I DONT SLEEP WELL

harsh words from one of the muppet babies

sometimes you trap a male false black widow under a cup in the middle of the night because he was roaming around on your ceiling looking for female spider pheromones and then his harmless dumb ass fell straight onto your bed so you had to contain him because you were tired and wanted to sleep. and sometimes that spider is no longer in that cup the next morning. as haunting as it is his determination is honestly kinda inspiring. chase your dreams little man hope you get spider laid

so, I hadn’t seen him since he escaped from his cup prison the other day (I did, however, find a ridiculously tiny vampire bite mark on my tummy— it did not swell or itch, like I said, he’s harmless), and I came home today to find ants swarming my bathroom. and there he was, following the trail and making a meal of em. He really got his revenge by biting me (pathetically) and then made an effort to prove his worth. I think we’re basically best friends now

STAR TREK - 2x15: THE TROUBLE WITH TRIBBLES

Took Ollie to the vet today. And I'm not gonna say who. But ONE of us had a panic attack immediately after the checkup and wouldn't get out of the sink

the accent really makes this

The Godmother

Here is the sequence of events:

One of our air attack pilots happened to fly a mission into Wyoming, which allowed him to sneak home. While at home he picked a bunch of stuff from his garden and flew it back to Colorado with him. This included many peppers.

He set a selection of these peppers on one of the desks in the dispatch office, held up a thin orange one that was about three inches long, and said, "I honestly don't know what this is. I think something hybridized. But I can smell the spice and it scares me."

And then he left.

Meanwhile, my boss, who the entire time I've known him has had an old One Chip Challenge (you know, the ones that were pulled off of shelves for being potentially deadly), and is constantly trying to convince everyone to eat it with him, and who is DEFINITELY dealing with some PTSD and insomnia due to the events of the summer, well, he's eying this Mystery Pepper with immense interest.

He does not touch the pepper for a whole day.

Day two of this pepper sitting on the desk rolls around and suddenly I hear, "I'm gonna do it" and a crunch.

I looked over and this man has just eaten the ENTIRE Mystery Pepper in one bite.

For about two seconds he was fine, then he starts spluttering and saying he can taste it in his ears. He then scrambled over to our fridge and downed probably a full cup of half-and-half before coming back to his desk still looking vaguely red.

"I feel like you should probably tell your therapist about whatever just happened," I said.

He hummed, coughed, and replied, "I'm more interested in why it only made me cry out of my left eye."

it's SO important to spend lots and lots of time on shit that no one cares about but you and does not enhance your life in any way

Still mad that Grace didn't see Rocky and go "nature loves making crabs"

I heard someone swear “you mother fuck!” over the phone the other day, and all I could think of was this

when its sunday 11pm and u remember u had homework

Bloopers are movie aftercare and it’s fucked up that we got rid of them

Man was definitely seeing creatures from the deep

1. Natalie Harp clearly needs professional psychiatric help. And I’d say that no matter who was the object of her maniacal devotion.

2. She also seems to embody the exact kind of MAGA cult sycophant Trump feeds off of, which makes this so, so, so much worse.

3. Jon Ossoff was right.

not only does "o brother where art thou" give you an an all-time odysseus but it actually did "our age of bronze is collapsing" two decades before nolan too

like i just don't think we needed another american actor to odysseus after this. i think he pretty much nailed it (odyssseusing)