Tips for Influencing Others by Changing Perspectives

From "𝐘𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐖𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠" to "𝗧𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝗠𝗲": The Power of Open-Minded Asking And Five Steps To Conflict Resolution👇️ When disagreements flare up, our instincts often lead us to insults or attacks on not just the opposing viewpoint, but on the person as well. This never works. Vitriolic responses close more minds than they change, making enemies out of friends and rivals out of allies. Curiosity is more effective than verbal assault if you aim to genuinely convince others. The next time you lock horns with someone, try this approach to turn disagreement into open-minded dialogue: 𝟏) 𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐔𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝 Rather than impatiently waiting for your turn to retort, focus first on comprehending their perspective. Confirm what aspects you do agree with to build common ground. Suspend judgments as you ask clarifying questions to grasp why they came to this stance. 𝟐) 𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐈𝐧𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐀𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 Once you comprehend their position, drill down diplomatically: “I’m curious why you feel that way. What led you to these conclusions?” People want to feel heard before opening up, so don’t invalidate their logic. 𝟑) 𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐀𝐭𝐭𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫𝐬 People are more open to hearing you after you've listened to them—without interrupting or arguing. Now, you can explain your reasoning in a non-confrontational way. Find threads of commonality between your perspectives as you clarify why you landed differently. The goal is elucidating, not conquering, the other viewpoint. 𝟒) 𝐄𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐏𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐀𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 Having traded views, ask, “Where do we agree?’ Name shared values, interests, or outcomes you both see as important. This reminds you that you likely have some common ground, even in disagreements. Remember: Everyone wants the same basic things out of life. You'd be surprised how often you and your adversary agree once you get past the superficial presentation of the ideas. 𝟓) 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐳𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐬 With mutual understanding built, you can bridge perspectives by asking, “How can we work together to get the best both worldviews?” Rather than clinging to singular stances, brainstorm creative solutions that integrate your collective wisdom. Heated debates often generate more hostility than progress. But by replacing reactive arguments with open-minded curiosity, you can transform conflict into wisdom-generating collaboration. Next time things get tense, set egos aside long enough to ask, “Why?” You might be surprised by what you can learn. #communication #community #onlinecommunities #personaldevelopment #connections #networking #socialnetworking

Being right isn’t your edge. It’s often your obstacle. I spent years defending my ideas in meetings. Data validated. Research confirmed. Logic airtight. Yet resistance kept appearing where I expected agreement. Here's what changed my entire approach to strategic influence: Your 'right' and their 'right' often live at different altitudes. – The CFO sees risk where you see opportunity. – The sales leader sees disruption where you see innovation. – Your boss sees timing issues where you see urgency. None of you are wrong. You're solving for different equations. Here’s the 5-step shift I now use to lead difficult conversations with influence: ➊ Map their success metrics first → Understand what keeps them up at night. Their KPIs shape their view. ➋ Find the shared win → Stop selling your vision. Build one where everyone wins something. ➌ Acknowledge their truth → “I can see why that matters from your position” opens more doors than “Let me show you why this works.” ➍ Translate your value into their language → Your innovation = their efficiency gain. Your change = their cost reduction. ➎ Create space for their expertise → Ask: “What am I not seeing from your vantage point?” Then actually listen. The leaders who rise aren’t always the ones who are right. They’re the ones who can hold multiple truths — and move forward anyway. When you make this shift, here’s what changes: – Senior leaders start asking for your input – You’re seen as someone who builds consensus – Proposals move forward faster – Stakeholders champion your ideas – That seat at the table? Feels a lot closer Your ideas don’t change. How they land does. And that’s why your EQ becomes your edge in rooms full of smart people. Next meeting: Lead with curiosity about their angle before defending yours. 🔖 Save this to master strategic influence through understanding ➕ Follow me, Jill Avey, for daily insights on advancing with authenticity and emotional intelligence

One skill separates great communicators from average ones: Perspective-taking. The ability to see things from someone else’s point of view. But most people do it wrong. Here’s how to do it right, especially when you’re leading or being led: When you’re the boss, persuading down: You’re trying to convince Maria on your team to do something different. She’s pushing back. Your instinct might be to assert your authority. But that’s a mistake. Here’s why… Research shows: The more powerful you feel, the worse your perspective-taking becomes. More power = less understanding. So if you want to persuade Maria, don’t lean into your title. Do the opposite: dial your power down, just briefly. Try this: Before the next conversation, remind yourself: Maria has power too. I need her buy-in. Maybe she sees something I don’t. Lower your feelings of power to raise your perspective. From that place, ask: → What does she see that I’m missing? → What might be in her way? → What’s a win-win outcome? That shift changes the entire dynamic. Instead of steamrolling, you’re collaborating. And that’s how you earn trust and results. Now flip it. You’re the employee persuading your boss. It’s a high-stakes moment. You’re nervous. So do you appeal to emotion? No. Drop the feelings. Focus on interests. Here’s the key question: “What’s in it for them?” Not how you feel. Not your big dream. → Will it save time? → Improve performance? → Help them hit their goals? Make it about their world, not yours. Why? Because every boss has a mental shortcut: → Does this employee make my life easier or harder? Be the person who brings clarity, ideas, and upside. Not complaints, drama, or friction. In summary: → Persuading down? Dial down your power to see clearer. → Persuading up? Focus on their interests, not your emotions. Perspective-taking is a superpower, if you learn how to use it. Now practice, practice, practice.

I was Wrong about Influence. Early in my career, I believed influence in a decision-making meeting was the direct outcome of a strong artifact presented and the ensuing discussion. However, with more leadership experience, I have come to realize that while these are important, there is something far more important at play. Influence, for a given decision, largely happens outside of and before decision-making meetings. Here's my 3 step approach you can follow to maximize your influence: (#3 is often missed yet most important) 1. Obsess over Knowing your Audience Why: Understanding your audience in-depth allows you to tailor your communication, approach and positioning. How: ↳ Research their backgrounds, how they think, what their goals are etc. ↳ Attend other meetings where they are present to learn about their priorities, how they think and what questions they ask. Take note of the topics that energize them or cause concern. ↳ Engage with others who frequently interact with them to gain additional insights. Ask about their preferences, hot buttons, and any subtle cues that could be useful in understanding their perspective. 2. Tailor your Communication Why: This ensures that your message is not just heard but also understood and valued. How: ↳ Seek inspiration from existing artifacts and pickup queues on terminologies, context and background on the give topic. ↳ Reflect on their goals and priorities, and integrate these elements into your communication. For instance, if they prioritize efficiency, highlight how your proposal enhances productivity. ↳Ask yourself "So what?" or "Why should they care" as a litmus test for relatability of your proposal. 3. Pre-socialize for support Why: It allows you to refine your approach, address potential objections, and build a coalition of support (ahead of and during the meeting). How: ↳ Schedule informal discussions or small group meetings with key stakeholders or their team members to discuss your idea(s). A casual coffee or a brief virtual call can be effective. Lead with curiosity vs. an intent to respond. ↳ Ask targeted questions to gather feedback and gauge reactions to your ideas. Examples: What are your initial thoughts on this draft proposal? What challenges do you foresee with this approach? How does this align with our current priorities? ↳ Acknowledge, incorporate and highlight the insights from these pre-meetings into the main meeting, treating them as an integral part of the decision-making process. What would you add? PS: BONUS - Following these steps also expands your understanding of the business and your internal network - both of which make you more effective. --- Follow me, tap the (🔔) Omar Halabieh for daily Leadership and Career posts.

In my work as a business growth coach, I have witnessed countless leaders get “stuck” in their own ways of thinking, preventing them from reaching new levels of success. I remember a recent client, a passionate business owner who came to me with a desire to take her business to the next level. Despite her hard work, she felt like she had hit a ceiling. The solutions she had always relied on seemed ineffective, and she was frustrated by her inability to break through. We dived into the coaching sessions, and it became clear to her that she was seeing things only from her perspective. This viewpoint was limiting her ability to innovate and adapt to new challenges. Our work then became focused on helping her shift her mindset, expand her viewpoint, and learn to approach her business with fresh eyes. What did she adapt and adopt? 🐾Step into Your Customer's Shoes One of the first exercises we did was to adopt her customer’s perspective. By reframing her business through her customers' eyes, she identified overlooked needs and opportunities to enhance her services. 🧿Challenge Existing Beliefs Identifying and challenging her assumptions gave her a clearer view of her untapped potential and resources within her own business. She worked on beliefs that no longer served her. 🎡Seek Diverse Input Another key step was to actively seek diverse input. We engaged her team, colleagues, and even mentors to gain insights. This mix of viewpoints enabled her to see angles she’d never considered, sparking ideas for innovative strategies and new areas for growth. 🌀Embrace the Power of Reflection By encouraging her to schedule regular time to revisit her business goals and to consider whether her daily actions aligned with her vision. Through this, she discovered small yet impactful adjustments that revitalized her passion and focus. 🌐Building a Growth Mindset By shifting her perspective, she unlocked a whole new pathway for growth. Sometimes, a different lens is all you need to see the bigger picture. Ready to explore new viewpoints and accelerate growth? Reach out to find clarity, unlock potential, and achieve the success you envision. ✨ https://lnkd.in/dGGM5vCK #sonniasingh #sonniasinghleadershipcoach #growth #unstuck #BusinessGrowth #LeadershipDevelopment #PerspectiveShift #ProfessionalCoaching #Innovation #Mentorship #Success

This one mindset changed how I lead teams. Influence isn't loud. It's patient. I’ve wanted to be influential at various points in my career.   And I used to think that influence was about perfect arguments. Flawless logic. The right facts, delivered with confidence.   And sometimes, that worked. But not often enough.   The more I led teams, the more I realised influence isn’t about convincing people. It’s about guiding them to convince themselves.   People don’t like being told what to do. They like feeling in control.   So, instead of pushing my ideas, I started asking better questions.   Like the time I needed a team to pivot on a project: – I didn’t lecture them. – I just asked, “What outcome do we really want here?” – That simple question sparked a discussion. – And they landed on the exact conclusion I had in mind. But it wasn’t my idea anymore. It was theirs.   And that’s the point. Influence isn’t about being the smartest person in the room.   It’s about creating space where others feel smart. Where their ideas matter.   Sometimes, I’d say one thing. Then stay silent. No rush to fill the gap. Just letting the idea sit.   And over time? I’d hear my words echoed back – not because I pushed, but because the idea took root.   The biggest shift? 👉 Realising that influence feels effortless when you stop trying to control the outcome. It’s not about being right. It’s about creating alignment. So, if you’re struggling to get people on board, maybe it’s not about trying harder. Maybe it’s about trying differently. Ask questions. Pause. Let ideas breathe. You don’t need to push. You just need to guide. Influence works best when people believe the choice was theirs all along.   How do you influence? Drop your thoughts in the comments. ⭐️ Follow me (Mostyn Wilson) and subscribe to my newsletter (link above) for more like this.

🤔 Ever wondered why some professionals can elegantly transform heated debates into breakthrough moments of collective insight? The most influential experts don't just argue—they strategically navigate complex conversations. Mastering the art of constructive disagreement isn't about winning, but about expanding understanding and driving collaborative innovation. Key strategies for turning arguments into opportunities: • Listen with genuine curiosity, not just to respond • Validate others' perspectives before presenting alternatives • Frame your insights as complementary solutions, not competing viewpoints • Use data and storytelling to make your arguments memorable • Focus on shared goals rather than personal victory The magic happens when you can articulate different perspectives so skillfully that even those who initially disagree feel heard and respected. This approach transforms potential conflict into a generative dialogue where everyone gains deeper insights. Influence isn't about being the loudest voice in the room—it's about being the most thoughtful, strategic communicator. What's been your most powerful experience of turning a potential argument into a collaborative breakthrough? #ProfessionalDevelopment #LeadershipSkills #CommunicationTips #Influence

How do you change other people? You don't. Especially when they don't want to change. If you try to change people that don't want to be changed, all you will get is resistance. When you expect or want people to be different than they are, Even if it's better for them, You must trade your expectations for accepting reality. Or you'll suffer from holding the resistance and you'll take that out on them. Pressure building in a pressure cooker will eventually bubble over and so finding the right way to approach these conversations is helpful. If this kind of situation comes up in a coaching conversation, I invite people to use something like NVC - Non-Violent Communication, to start a conversation. 1. Prepare yourself emotionally and to approach the conversation with the intention to connect and understand not to blame or criticize 2. Choose the right moment when both of you are relaxed and calm. Notice your body language and use open body language as much as you can. 3. Begin with Observation NOT Evaluation. Make objective, neutral observations without judgement or blame. 4. Express your own feelings and needs. Express how you feel about the situation and what needs are underlying those feelings. 5. Listen actively and empathetically. Encourage the other person to share their perspective, listen without interrupting and show you genuinely want to understand their perspective. 6. Reframe and clarify after listening to make sure you show understanding and avoid miscommunication. 7. Ask permission to offer suggestions. Unsolicited advice will cause people to push back, instead ask the other person if they're open to hearing your thoughts or suggestions. 8. Collaborate on solutions. Work together to find practical steps that the other person is comfortable with and that address both of your concerns. 9. Acknowledge and appreciate. End the conversation by acknowledging their willingness to engage and any positive steps they've already taken. 10. Follow up gently. After some time, check-in on how things are going, if there's support or help they need and provide encouragement how the 'new way' is going for them and progress you see. Helping other people see the constraints of staying where they are helps them untangle the reasons and justifications for staying the same. Change becomes possible with acceptance and understanding of how people are right now NOT pushing our way on others for them to change. Otherwise their fear takes over and there's no room for courage to take it's place. Untangling the knot of today takes time, but it's worth being present with it as it unfolds. What do you think?

𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙋𝙤𝙬𝙚𝙧 𝙤𝙛 𝘼𝙨𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 “𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙀𝙡𝙨𝙚?🤔 A long time ago, I worked under a leader who taught me one of the most valuable lessons I’ve ever learned. Whenever I rushed into a solution, he’d look me straight in the eye and ask, “And what else?” If I gave another idea too quickly, he’d smile and say it again, “What else?” Sometimes I struggled to find another angle - pushing myself to think beyond my first, most comfortable answer. Over time, I realized what he was doing. When we’re under pressure, it’s natural to go with the obvious choice or listen only to the team members we know best. We focus on what’s familiar, forgetting that quieter voices or different viewpoints might offer the game-changing insight. By consistently asking “What else?” he forced me to slow down, consider other perspectives, and discover solutions I never would have found otherwise. 𝗔𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗧𝗮𝗸𝗲𝗮𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀: 𝙋𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙙𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙙𝙚: challenge yourself to find at least one more angle. 𝙎𝙚𝙚𝙠 𝙞𝙣𝙥𝙪𝙩 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙧𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙡𝙮 𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙖𝙠 𝙪𝙥. Remember that fresh ideas often come from unexpected places. 𝗖𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗼 𝗔𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻: This week, try the “What else?” approach with your team. Ask one more question, invite that quieter colleague to share, and see where it leads you. You might be surprised at the results! 🚀 #Leadership #Influence #Impact #TeamInsights #InnovativeThinking #GrowthMindset

We’ve all been there - misreading a situation and letting assumptions guide our thoughts. I had one of those moments recently when a colleague seemed disengaged and unresponsive. My initial reaction was to assume they’d lost interest in the project or were slacking off. Instead of letting those thoughts fester, I decided to reach out. In a private, judgment-free conversation, I shared my observations and - most importantly - listened. What I learned was they were going through personal challenges that were draining their energy and focus. They hadn’t spoken up because they didn’t want to burden the team. That conversation changed everything. Together, we made adjustments to the workload and provided some much-needed flexibility. The result? They felt supported, and our team emerged stronger and more cohesive. This experience reminded me how powerful it can be to pause, dig deeper, and approach situations with understanding rather than judgment. When we take a moment to see what’s really going on, the results can be transformative: - Stronger Relationships: Empathy fosters trust and opens up honest communication. - Enhanced Team Collaboration: Supporting one another boosts morale and strengthens bonds. - Personal Growth: Learning to lead with patience and understanding builds emotional intelligence. Whenever I find myself making assumptions about someone’s actions, I ask myself: “What might be happening beneath the surface?” Often, what looks like disengagement is a signal of something deeper - and taking the time to find out can make all the difference. Have you had an experience where stepping back and seeking understanding changed your perspective? #innovation #technology #future #management #startups