Context

Many years ago when I was studying physics, I remember learning about Reference Frames to simplify the concept for the purpose of this discussion a Reference Frame is - an abstract coordinate system and the set of physical reference points that uniquely fix (locate and orient) the coordinate system and standardize measurements. Everything happens in a frame of reference - there is no universal frame of reference. 

A colleague lost his wife to cancer recently, and I felt so frustrated in my inability to do anything, leading up to and after the event. I could do nothing to prevent it, nothing to alleviate his pain, nothing even to really begin to understand the pain. All I could do was grieve with him from a distance. I felt I could not be Kind or Useful.

For some time now I have tried to create context for my self and for my friends when stressed about some current situation in our lives. Without context everything is paramount and nothing is. Everything is earth shattering and nothing is. I often think back to a group of children I see whenever I am in Mumbai, commuting from the hotel to the office. This group of children with lovely smiles, so happy, live under a bridge in Mumbai. This is their context. Their world. Their happiness is unfathomable in our context. I have shared this experience with friends and colleagues in my attempts to be helpful.

Whatever the challenge in front of you – you are alive and you are not living under a bridge in Mumbai. Even if you were – there are people that have found happiness in that context.

Every one of us will go through difficult times, we will have friends, family and colleagues that will do so as well. We will all have to deal with the frustration of not being able to do much to help the situation. This is life. All we can control is how we face the situation how we react to it.

Four things that I find useful:

1. People aren’t against you they are for themselves
2. Live in the moment and let go of all else.
3. Be grateful for every person, moment and experience in your life.
4. Give what you want.

Exploring each of these is beyond the scope of this article there is a lot written about these already and maybe someday I will explore them all in my own writing until then – Google.

When friends, family, colleagues go through hardship – stand with them, be present for them, this is their test, their life, their path, sometimes all you can do is walk beside them so they don’t walk alone. When you go through it, call on them. We, none of us, are alone.