Beware the Anesthetists! Protect Your Spark

Every time we share a new idea, a project, or simply a spark of enthusiasm, there is a certain kind of person who shows up.

They often introduce themselves as “honest,” “realistic,” or “just candid.” But instead of fueling our energy, they pour cold water on it. With a quick comment, a raised eyebrow, or a sharp remark, they put our ideas to sleep before they can even breathe.

I call them the anesthetists.

I first learned this concept in the early 2000s from Pedro Mandelli , in a class at Fundação Getulio Vargas in Brazil. His words stayed with me ever since: some people don’t attack our ideas directly, but they silently anesthetize them, making sure they never leave the operating room.

When the anesthetist is at home

This past weekend, during a Designing Your Life workshop with an inspiring group, we reflected on the importance of building our tribe, the circle of people who support and cheer for us.

One question struck me:

“What if the detractors are inside our own house?”

What if the anesthetist is your partner, your parent, your best friend, or even your child?

Yeah, sometimes the people closest to us are not the ones who celebrate us. And while we can’t always remove them from our lives, we can learn how to "turn down the volume", protecting our ideas, our spark, and our energy.

I often hear this in my 1:1 sessions. My take is that the people closest to us are usually the ones most afraid of our transformation. When we talk about starting a new business, building a new habit, or changing careers, our “old audience” is afraid of being left out of our “new version.”

Choosing your tribe

Building a supportive tribe is not about numbers, it’s about quality of energy.

You may have dozens of kind people around you, but if two or three consistently destroy your enthusiasm, their voices can feel louder than all the rest.

That’s why it’s crucial to be intentional: choose who gets access to your dreams, and who doesn’t.

Don't get me wrong... It's important to have people around us who question our assumptions and offer new perspectives on our plans. We know who they are: they challenge us from a place of growth, they help stretch our potential, and we can trust that they’ll be there for us in any situation.

On the other hand, there are moments when all we need are the people who cheer for us, like marathon runners at the 32nd kilometer, thinking of giving up, and finding supporters who offer encouragement, kind words, water, whatever it takes to keep them going.

I see this regularly among solopreneurs and executives driving major transformations.

Four ways to cope with the anesthetists

1. Name them -> Notice the pattern: who consistently pushes you down when you share something new? Naming them helps reduce their power.
2. Filter their feedback -> Ask yourself: Is this perspective helpful, or is it fear disguised as advice? Keep what helps. Discard the rest.
3. Protect your early ideas -> New ideas are fragile. Share them first with your supporters, not with the anesthetists. Let them grow strong before exposing them to criticism.
4. Balance the voices -> Make sure you have more supporters than detractors. Surround yourself with the people who give oxygen to your energy, not anesthesia.

Visualizing your network

Imagine a network of blue dots (your supporters) surrounding you and your ideas, with a few scattered red dots (the anesthetists).

Your goal is not to eliminate every red dot. Some may always be there.

Your goal is to make sure the blue dots outnumber them and to know where to go when you need encouragement, perspective, or strength.

What's next?

Your ideas deserve to breathe. They deserve oxygen, encouragement, and growth.

So ask yourself today: Who are the blue dots in your tribe? And how will you protect your spark from the anesthetists?

Let's continue this conversation!

And if you need a blue dot to cheer you up AND challenge your assumptions to stretch your potential, I am here! https://scheduler.zoom.us/fernanda-ortega/30min-free-discovery-session-