whune, posts by tag: self-development - LiveJournal

Most everyone gets tamed by society.

Unfortunately I didn't; in that I've pretty much done whatever I wanted since I was 8ish;
and almost completely got separated from the system when I was 12; when I dropped out of school.

So it occurs to me... that if I'm to ever get any real momentum...
then I'm going to have to tame my self.

Not an easy proposition.

I've tried to do that before;
but I think I see the necessity for it more now than previously;
and also:
I have more faith in my vision and potential now.

I see what I can be if my spirit was tamed;
and I see what is coming of what discipline I have been maintaining;
in martial arts;
illustration;
and music.

My paradigms are shifting in regard to illustration;
and that's because I committed to this online illustration class; and forced my self to do the assignments whether I wanted to or not.

More and more I'm seeing that now is more the time for me to bide my time...
master my self...
so that I've the competency to fulfill my visions;
so that I may "rise"

normally I hate Oprah; and anything to do with her;
but i found my self flipping through the latest issue of "O"
and then actually buying it.

why?
well; there was one of those 'finding your self" articles in it;
and as I read it in the van... I realized some things:
While I'm straight as an arrow sexually... deep inside I'm really just a moody chick; and this article - written for women - was addressing all those stupid squishy emotions that just don't get covered with the same indulgence and frankness as they do in a unisex article.

I've realized something about my self;*
and the immediate implications of my vision have been clarified for me.

Anything materializing - from that - immediately is doubtful:
It's more a matter of a certain realization stopping me from disrupting a process that needs to be occurring right now.

*oddly enough it has nothing to do with my inner moody chick. I think it was just that only an article written for women could speak to me as I needed to be spoken to; at least at this time.

Sometimes I observe people blaming an activity or an environment or something for a personal failing.

A thing I'm learning to do is be more aware of the choices I'm making in each moment:

choices of focus

choices of response; rather than reaction

I think what's going on around you really doesn't matter...
so long as you are truly aware of what's going on; especially inside your self.

I'm learning to use the question:
"Is this worth my time?"
"Is this action congruent with my desired outcome/s?"

So things like getting caught-up in vain discussion>argument...
tend to happen less.

this is not a fishing for pity or whatever the fuck.

I've utter faith I shall remedy this

I'm merely making note..

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+ info on the art show
+ info on being a volunteer

I can cancel registration - and receive full refund - up till June 19th
(i didn't know this upon start of process)

going to Comic Con would be great for me, regardless of if I do work for hire, want to find serious collaborators, or intend to 'do my own thing' (either self-published or piggy-back published by an entity such as Dark Horse
"...They are intense, stressful adn often confusing, but you can accomplish things in days that you could not do in weeks or months using other methods." - How To Break-In To the Comic Book Business; Why You Should Attend

Luckily I don't have to make any decisions about hotel until March 19th (that's the day the hotels that are reserved for the con go up on the site

There's no way I'm going to go on this trip unless pretty much everything changes
criteria:

• I've read and feel comfortable with all the info in all my pencilling related books
  
• I've made some money with drawing
  
  • either original pages (pin-ups or stories); or commissioned work (pin-ups or stories)
  
  
• I can comfortably draw at least a page a day

must resist urge to get too specific right now.

I've a very direct personality
I like tangible goal
and measurable criteria

the problem is that I'm dealing with all sorts of other tedious complications( Collapse )

http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/bl…

i cited a quote from this;
but couldn't find the link at the time of posting

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I have patterns where I waste my time

I need to prioritize my focus

mon-fri needs to be, almost exclusively, drawing (anatomy study*) and music (guitar); with tiny little 3 min place holders for training regimen in various other pursuits, which serve mostly just to refresh me for returning to my top priorities

Saturday needs to largely be the same, save for expansion of time spent in drawing and guitar, and small pocket of time for trivial things like puttering around online and videogames

Sunday needs to be largely stream of conscious sketching, reading self-improvement books (these are my mentors, the only ones I'm not restless around right now, I have nothing to give, so I will take from what I value; that said it needs to be relegated to a day of leisure**); and being sure to get in a long bath and a leisurely walk.

*... sticking to that one book has been hell for me.
As soon as I get through it I'll divide the drawing time between drawing established characters and assimilating the next book, in this case proabably dynamic wrinkles and drapery

**sitting around a reading self-improvement books, instead of actively going through the motions of improving self... is idiotic; but if its supposed to be a day of rest anyway; then...