A Nonbinary dilemma
Hello, everyone! I've been engaged for about a year, and my fiancee and I's wedding date is somewhere in the ether. We're both working retail jobs right now, so we're playing the wedding timetable by ear. But that doesn't stop me from running ideas around in my head, no sirree! 8D
My fiancee and I are HS sweethearts, and I had a really close girlfriend too. The three of us were nigh inseparable, until she moved away after we both had graduated. We floated apart, she'd gotten married (I stood up for her in it, as much as my Catholic self could), and she'd taken quite a swan dive into her religion, Mormonism. And not the progressive kind. There's a lot we don't discuss because I don't want to go into the debate. But I'm about to have to.
In recent years, I've become very close to an individual I met through fandom and the internet. It's always been a good friend, and nearly as much of a partner in my life as my fiancee. As you can tell from my pronoun usage, it is neutrois. That is, having no particular gender affiliation. This has been a fairly recent coming out for it, (ngl, it did relieve my "Who to ask to be MoH?" dilemma) and I have decided to designate it as a Person of Honor (please suggest something more creative if you have any ideas).
The problem is this: I don't know how to navigate these two very different sides of this coin. D is female, conservative, and devout Mormon, and the other, A, is neutrois, atheist, and bisexual. I only see this ending in tears. How do I talk to D about the nontraditional choices in my wedding without it ending in chaos? I've already decided that if D can't abide it, she's welcome to attend, but she wouldn't be a part of it. A has been a bigger part of my adult life than she has been.
Apologies for the length, and thanks for any input you may have. Also, if you see this more than once around the net etiquette world, apologies. I'm looking for as much input as I can get.
My fiancee and I are HS sweethearts, and I had a really close girlfriend too. The three of us were nigh inseparable, until she moved away after we both had graduated. We floated apart, she'd gotten married (I stood up for her in it, as much as my Catholic self could), and she'd taken quite a swan dive into her religion, Mormonism. And not the progressive kind. There's a lot we don't discuss because I don't want to go into the debate. But I'm about to have to.
In recent years, I've become very close to an individual I met through fandom and the internet. It's always been a good friend, and nearly as much of a partner in my life as my fiancee. As you can tell from my pronoun usage, it is neutrois. That is, having no particular gender affiliation. This has been a fairly recent coming out for it, (ngl, it did relieve my "Who to ask to be MoH?" dilemma) and I have decided to designate it as a Person of Honor (please suggest something more creative if you have any ideas).
The problem is this: I don't know how to navigate these two very different sides of this coin. D is female, conservative, and devout Mormon, and the other, A, is neutrois, atheist, and bisexual. I only see this ending in tears. How do I talk to D about the nontraditional choices in my wedding without it ending in chaos? I've already decided that if D can't abide it, she's welcome to attend, but she wouldn't be a part of it. A has been a bigger part of my adult life than she has been.
Apologies for the length, and thanks for any input you may have. Also, if you see this more than once around the net etiquette world, apologies. I'm looking for as much input as I can get.