_nickstokes_, posts by tag: realm of the muse - LiveJournal

The first few days after the twins were brought home, they were perfect little angels. They hardly made a peep, even though they were passed around to each and everyone one of Nick's folks. Most importantly, they slept. To Sara's dismay, they slept most of the day.

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There's a problem with buttons.

"Hey, Nick. You're missing a button." Warrick pointed to Nick's shirt. There was, indeed, a button missing from his favorite blue shirt.

"Oh. Yeah. I know. It fell off after I left the house." He shrugged and kept snapping pictures of the scene. After all, did he really care about one little missing button from his favorite blue shirt? Not really, no.

Well, he didn't care, but then Sara pointed it out while he was fingerprinting a window frame, and after that, Jim teased him for not going down the hall to change into shirt that wasn't missing buttons. Archie did a little double take and quietly brought it up, while Super Dave was all nervous when he pointed it out. It was as if he knew he shouldn't have said anything in the first place. Hodges was on the verge of making a very interesting analysis as to why Nick's favorite blue shirt was missing a button, but Nick saw it coming and walked away instead.

It went on that way for his entire shift, so when Catherine stopped him in the hall and made him stand there while she figured out why something wasn't quite right, he decided it was the last straw.

"I know. I'm missing a button." Tired of this button business and just wanting to go home, he shook his head and unbuttoned a few more buttons. The end result was that every other one was undone. "There. Now, I'm just making a fashion statement. Okay?"

"Um. Okay." She grinned.

"Okay. See you tomorrow."

The problem with buttons isn't that they fall off. The problem with buttons is that when you're a CSI, your co-workers tend to notice when you're missing one from your favorite blue shirt.

[locked from anyone who still believes in Santa Claus or isn't old enough to vote]

Unfortunately, life forces you to lose one of the best qualities you're born with. It happens to everyone. I lost it. Carolee lost it. I think that Lizzie is in the process of losing it, if she hasn't lost it already. It's a type of innocence, and it has nothing to do with the birds and the bees.

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I don't know if there's an afterlife. Maybe there is, maybe there isn't. I guess some people find comfort in believing there's something more after death. I completely understand the appeal. Anyone who has ever lost someone important in their life wants to believe that those they have lost are safe and sound in some wonderful place.

I want to believe it's true, but it's so hard to believe when you, yourself, have been to the edge between life and death. For me, I couldn't stop thinking about my life and how I didn't want to leave everyone I cared about. The idea of angels and pearly white gates doesn't make death any less terrifying, not for me.

With all of that said, my heaven is here on Earth.

My white gates? The side entrance, through the garage. It's not much, but it suits me just fine.

My angels? They are the people in my life that I care for and that care for me. I can see them, hold them, and tell them that I love them.

Nothing can replace what and who I already have. When dealing with death, the only comfort I get is from knowing that I will have my heaven until the day I die. After that? Well, I just don't know.

Flashback-ish. Related to the events following this

"You can't do that! I love her. Do you know what that's like? Do you?!"

There are a few times in a man's life where he has to stop and replay the events that have taken place in his life. These crucial events are ultimately responsible for bringing him to this moment of self evaluation, and without them, it's hard to know if his life would still be his own.

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Tell someone you love them, without using any of the following words: love, adore, dear, treasure, cherish and worship.

Hey, Carolee. So, I was just thinking...

Well, actually...uhh...umm...

Well, you know how happy I am, right? I mean, you make me happy, so very happy. Before I met you, I was just so...No, that's not right. I mean, I'm so happy with you...with us? Yeah, I'm happy when I'm with you...which is right now. Because you know, we're together. Heh...*nervous chuckle*

What I'm trying to say is...that...I'm happy we're...you know...happy, and I want us to stay like this. Forever. Umm...I know forever is a really long time, but I promise you'll never have to worry about me leaving you, or the kids. You're everything to me. I don't even want to imagine the rest of my life without you.

Umm...so...I was thinking...well, really, wondering... *rubs the back of his neck* ...

I'm going to ask you a question now, and you can say whatever you want...or not say anything at all, if you don't want to...If that's what you want...umm...

*takes a deep breath and gets it out*

Carolee, will you marry me?

*blink*

*blink*

So...How was it that time?

*blink* Nono.

*hangs head with an exasperated sigh*

Thanks to extensive lobbying, being a jerk, liar, adulterer, cheat or general ass is a capital offense, punishable by death. You need to give the closing argument in a trial, either your own or someone you know, trying to either convict them, or save them from Death Row.

Nick threw his head back and whined, "I don't wanna play this game anymore..." Had he not been tied to the chair, he would have gotten up to do something else. Anything else.

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"Look up there, Babygirl." Nick pointed up to the sky from the balcony of his and Carolina's suite. "That's the Big Dipper."

Sara looked up and pointed too. "'Tar."

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x-posted realmof_themuse
Nick Stokes
CSI

It was classic and beautiful. My red diamond kite.

Gram and Gramps gave it to me for my ninth birthday. I was so excited and spent a whole week putting it together, just right. God, the tail was this endless orange ribbon, about two inches wide. It was the last piece to go on, and then, it was ready to soar.

I remember it was the week before school started. I waited for the perfect day to take it out. The wind was ideal, or so I thought. I remember running in the park near my house when a strong gust took it straight up. I wanted to see how high I could get it, so I kept unwinding more of the string. By the time I'd realized that I was at the end of the spool, it was too late. I hadn't tied off the end of the spool, so as I unwound it that very last time, my beautiful red kite just flew away, tail and string dancing in the air.

I stood there and watched it disappear over the trees. It's kind of weird, but I wasn't entirely heartbroken. I mean, sure, on one hand, my beautiful red kite was gone for good, but on the other hand, how many kids could say their kites made it to the moon?


x-posted realmof_themuse
Nick Stokes
CSI

Nick wasn't quite sure how they got on this topic. He just wanted off of it. "Not everyone is weird like that."

"It's not weird, Nick. You'd be surprised." Catherine smirked, almost laughing from the horrified expression on Nick's face.

"There's no way normal people are into all that."

"Nicky, Nicky, Nicky..." She grinned at him. It was too easy. "You should have figured it all out by now."

"No. I don't even want to think about it." Nick shook his head, completely unamused.

"Those in powerful positions during the day are usually looking for a little domination at night. Chances are, your..." It was way too easy.

"Don't even finish that sentence." Nick cringed as he scrambled to gather up his things.

"Face it Nick. They have sex. Probably lots of very kinky sex. I mean come on. Here you--"

"Stop it! Just...no." Nick's voice got all high like it always did when he got completely uncomfortable.

"Who has kinky sex?" Warrick walked in, eyebrow quirked, just as Nick got up off the couch. Nick kept his head down, shaking it as he headed for the door. Warrick watched Nick leave before turing to face Catherine. "Who has kinky sex?"

She grinned and laughed as Nick practically ran right into Grissom in the hallway. "Nick's parents." She shrugged. "Probably."

Warrick shook his head with an amused smile. "Oh now, that's just cruel."


x-posted realmof_themuse
Nick Stokes
CSI