I Bet *you* never knew this Email was for you.

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J,

It's been years since we started hooking up. I told you at the beginning that I loved you, but you were with her off and on (though I didn't know it then) so our public friendship was with groups of people and after midnight we were together. Then, the day you told me you wanted to be with me, I told you I met someone else and wasn't going to see you anymore. After 2 years I saw you again and knew I had made such a mistake. Now we are back to hooking up whenever I can make it down to see you, and it's really fun and amazing. You are the only person I can be completely myself around without worrying what you will think. Except for the ever louder part of myself that makes it harder and harder for me to leave every time we are together. And that part of me that knows I am falling in love with you all over again. I want to tell you that I know. I know that you are falling for me. And I know you don't want to be. Did you know you tell me you love me in your sleep?  But I am the only person who has been by your side even wehn you may not have deserved it. Who defends you even when you're wrong. I don't know how long I can keep doing this, because I want to be with you more and more every time I see you. I really believe it's time for you to give us a chance to be happy together, for real this time. I don't just want your nights every once and a while. I want everynight. And everyday. I love you.

Dear you,

I'm over you. You still run through my mind, but my thoughts for you are full of pity and hate. It took me about a year to forget, and I finally did. You didn't conquer me, I am still here. You will never be apart of my life again, and you will never be the center of my attention again. I no longer care what you think, you mean nothing to me. What kills me though, is that I never meant as much to you as you did to me. I was just a toy in your life, that you enjoyed playing with, I was nothing. How foolish of me to believe in love, and to believe that everything would be okay. Since then I've grown up, and I no longer believe in fairy-tales.




Alex  

My dear Kelly,

I'd run around the world to find you; you mean more to me than I'm able to let on.
When we first started talking over this crazy world called the 'internet', I knew I had to lie to you about my own identity. Honestly, I had so much fear growing inside of me after talking for just awhile, fear that you would know every true thought running through my fucked-up mind. But, as you know, I couldn't hide the truth from you for too long. [Iloveyousofuckingmuch]. You've kind of been like that rock in the middle of an ocean storm. You gave me something to grasp to stay afloat so I wouldn't drown in the perils of myself.
( And so it tumbles farther down...Collapse )
Even when I told you that I had been lying to you for about two years, you didn't care. You even told me of how much I helped you. Remember me scoffing at that? Really, it seems ironic that I saved your life when you saved mine. What's even worse, I'm still lying to you. It's so fucking hard for me to be true to anyone... but you still accept my flaws.
I don't want to talk to you again, you make feel like I'm dissecting myself and laying my insides in front of you in a nice fucking glass bottle. The worst part is, I'm the one who wants to do it for you. I want you to see my insides, I want to prove to you I'm not fucking pretty.
And if I'm not pretty, I'd rather be dead...
I love you so much, Kellyface. I'm sorry for ignoring you for long periods of time... I just had random breakdowns because I knew you could see through my transparent skin. I knew you could see through the lies to my grotesque insides.
At the same time, you swim through me like a disease. I think about you, even though we've never truly met. Haha, I'm even nerdy enough to talk about you with my friends... 
I don't think I can lie to you anymore, it's tearing me apart; my neck is cutting itself to save me lying to you. Even my heart is in on it; everytime we talk it beats too fast for its own good. Almost as if the heart is running to find you.

Your stalker,
[notmyrealname]

p.s. I don't want to forget you, and I don't think I'll be able to if I tried...

i'll leave it at,

you amaze me <3

dear cody,
you just understand.
your not my boyfriend,
but one of my best friends.
you have helped me out
alot these past two weeks
or so. mostly from talking and
learning about me and my
past. It's nice to talk to
someone that cares.
I hope your not telling
anyone else. Especially
Taylor. I just hope that i can
help you as much as you
helped me <3 really.
love stace

p.s i know you will never find this
or my live journal, even if you
tried to find it. I just hope that
you know how much you mean
to me for helping me this much.

Dear Mr. EMO

I really don't understand you..

Once you said that you are in and the next day you're out. Just like Katy Perry song, and I don't like it. Its too confusing cause I don't know what you want! You never tell me! And of course, I would never known the truth.

I'm sorry if I disappointed you or annoyed you, but I don't meant to.. its real. Yeah, you're so sensitive and mysterious, but you're the only one.. the only one! Can't you see that I cared about you? You're not alone, for sure. But you never notice it.. never ever, even once. You always said that you're alone, f--- this life, what the hell, throw those sweetness and let it die.

Don't you care how I feels when you said that?

I could cry as clear as the sky, but I don't want to.. cause it's going to make you more suffer, I know that. I really know you yet there's still more secrets to reveal. Too many secrets.

How much doors I must opened to see your inner side? 5...? 20...? 60...? 100...? How many?? At least, let me try.. please, for once.

I remembered that you said you're rebel, yes you are. You never go to class, you're black listed by the school, you always gone out like the wind.. yet I still cared about you. I do!

Maybe you think, "Why do you care about me? What do you see in me?"

Well.. I see you, aren't I...? You cannot always blame yourself for everything, don't weight the burden all by yourself, let me help. Just a little if that's makes you much more happy. Ah, but you said you cannot be happy anymore.. did you?

I still have a goal on you.. to make you happy and smile for once again, please let me try.. please oh please, hope you happy as always even if I must suffer the pain. I hope you will smile again..


-Little Rebellious Girl-

dear boy,
you saved me. I just wanted you
to know that. Your beautiful. Inside
and out. If it wasn't for you, i would
probably still cut. I would probably
still hate life, but you showed me
how beautiful life can be. We've
been together for more than 2 years now
and i just want to let you know that
i love you. I really do. I'm only 18,
but i hope i never lose you. Your
everything to me <3
love forever,
girl

A feeling strikes me when I see your face,
And a thought of understanding--
Until a moment later, confusion hits.
I'm writing this as I'm picturing you,
In my mind, always in my mind.
(It's like you've pitched a tent in there.)
A mystery. (A cliché?)
But it's odd to me,
As I'm not fighting it.
These feelings may pass in time
But right now,
They're here as you're here.
Though you'll never know,
Because we've been through this,
More than once.

Dear Rejection Junkie and parasite of a friend:

I'm happy.
You're a bitch and I'm happy.
You can keep trying to upset my perfect little existence but its not going to work. I'm not going to let you know that I think you're a piece of shit, nor am I going to beat your fucking ass -- even though I'd really like to hit you a few times in the face right now -- I'm going to kill you with kindness.

I dont care about you anymore and I want you out of my life. You have so little going on in your own life that you have to feed off of mine. You dont have your own friends, goals, ideas, interests, PERSONALITY that you just attach yourself to my life, my friends, my goals, and everything. You become obsessed with the things going well in my life and the things that are negative. You feed off of my unhappiness because misery loves company and quite frankly I'm sick of it.

Just because your life is pathetic and pointless and you'll never amount to anything doesnt mean you have to try and bring me down with you. I'm amazing, I'm a great person, I'm going places and as much as I know you'd love to tag along because well you dont have any other options, you're not invited. SO FUCKING STAY OUT OF MY LIFE!

Sincerely,
Someone Who Doesn't Want You Anymore